I Guess I'm Gonna Do This Now

[enigmatic_onion]

Not an avid forum go-er, let me just get that out of the way. Used to go on 4chan back in the day until I gained lucidity and came to the realization that nothing on that website was even vaguely interesting and/or funny after the age of 13. Though, I think that's where I found out about tulpamancy, so I guess that's one good thing that came out of 4chan, for me at least. Did I just say something good came out of 4chan? What is wrong with me?

 

Been working on a tulpa for about 2 days now, and it's coming along nicely so far, even though I guess that isn't saying much for, y'know, 2 days. Had some nice headway last night with meditative active forcing, got the form looking alright, humanoid black cat w/ blue eyes, and used some symbolism for the personality. And it hasn't occurred to me until right now, but his personality seems more solid after that forcing session. So, good stuff.

 

I also read some snippets from a tips & tricks thread about having varied forcing methods, among other things. I then continued to put on a video of famous waltzes, Strauss particularly, and half dance, half walk through my house, effectively turning that session into a musical. I want to say something about how that's really weird, but I'm going to assume that we've all done something more weird or equally as weird in our lives. I mean, we're creating sentient beings that live in our heads through sheer mind power and concentration alone. In other words, we are the first ones in and the last ones out when it comes to being really weird.

 

Well, that's that. So I guess this is where I like stop posting and stuff. I'll get back to forcing and see what becomes of me, my tulpa, and this thread.

[enigmatic_onion]

Tried active forcing at like 8:00 pm, and it didn't really work, partly because I couldn't keep focus on my tulpa for love nor money, and that later on I just like fell asleep.

 

I tried more symbolism, with a little success, but for now, I'll go back to narration, which is kind of hard when my friend keeps skyping me.

 

YEAH CORY I'M CALLING YOU OUT YOU BASTARD.

 

Except not really. But it is hard to even vaguely passive force while listening to somebody talk about their weird dream. And their weird tulpa. Did I just introduce a weird form of tulpa discrimination to these fair forums? Well, I didn't mean to, even though I do think his tulpa is kind of weird. And before anyone asks, it's too weird to describe, I just cannot do it. Oh wow I said weird so many times that the word weird now sounds weird. Weird.

 

What I plan to do now is to go watch The Three Amigos (fantastic movie please go watch it) with my tulpa for ease of narration.

 

So like wish me luck or something.

[enigmatic_onion]

Watched The Three Amigos (like everyone should go do right now even if they've already seen it please go out and buy it or fucking steal it if you have to) and it was a goddamn blast. I think I was feeling both my happiness, due to my fond memories of the film, and the happiness of my tulpa, from getting to watch a great movie for the very first time. Seriously, I don't think I could've been happier, I was ready to explode at every scene. Seriously, go watch that movie like right this instant, it is goddamn mystifying. With your tulpas of course, in fact those long time tulpamancers will be perhaps doubly happy than even myself, because they'll have their own fully developed tulpas to truly enjoy the film with. Not to say that I wasn't 'truly' enjoying the film, but it would be pretty cool.

 

So, not only did I have a fun overdose, but it was a very successful forcing session as well. He's coming along nicely, and his overall presence gets stronger by the minute. He's making me very optimistic and I'm excited for every single little detail of the future.

 

He even made me (not literally, he isn't effectively communicating yet) go back and look at a letter from a teacher's aide that I got over the summer. I was really close with her (you're awesome, Patty McFadden, never change) and over the summer, when I graduated middle school, she sent me an incredibly kind letter about how special I was to her. I know this sounds mega-sappy but goddamn it, it is. I'm actually hoping on visiting her when school starts, though I think she retired last year. I'd have to ask the teacher and the other aide, but I hear she lives close by. And shit, if anyone wants to, I'd be happy to post the letter on the thread.

 

Does anyone listen to Chance the Rapper? Do you remember the last song on Acidrap? Everything's Good? I am that song in human form, but tenfold. This is one of the few times in my life (not saying I don't have a happy life, I generally do) where I can truly say that I am ECSTATIC.

 

So, if you want me to post the letter, I'm totally down to clown. And next up on the list of to-do's is more regular active forcing. And then some more movie watching I guess. Not immediately, of course. Next up on the watching block, I'm thinking mayhaps we shall watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, (the original, not that stupid remake thing with no charm or personality and I hate it so much oh my god) or maybe The Goonies. Been a long time since I watched The Goonies. Ghostbusters? So many good movies man, I love it.

 

I guess that's it then, for now. I talked about nice teachers, The Three Amigos, (can somebody please make the joke about the male/mail plane?) and I also condoned thievery for the sake of Steve Martin's gorgeous face. And we ended it on classic movies that kick ass. This shit is incredible, I'm losing my mind over here. I just hope that if I ever lose steam in this endeavor, like many poor souls do, then I'll go back and read this, and draw strength from it. So, for now, this is Lith and I, signing off.

 

Oh yeah his name is Lith I forgot to say earlier. So yeah bye.

[enigmatic_onion]

I need to stop staying up until 1 am and beyond.

 

Anyways, read to tulpa-guy (which is a term I cannot for the life of me decide my opinion on) from J. Maarten Troost's Lost on Planet China. I only read chapter 1 and a bit of chapter 2, but it looks like a fantastical read so far. Also, at one point he starts talking about the whole communism thing and how it's mostly died out in China, just like crusty old Mao. I then quickly came to the conclusion that one day in the future explaining systems of government, ideologies, and history in general to my tulpa from like, The Indus Valley Civilization to The Medieval Age to now, will be really fun. I've always liked history, and for some reason explaining it to people. Sometimes I just think I'm arrogant and enjoy explaining it to the "unwashed masses." I just hope that I'm not ignorant to my arrogance, because then I would be ignorant and arrogant, the two traits that, when combined, will form the perfect asshole, which sometimes scares me. Am I really a reasonable person or am I secretly kind of a prick? Unless somebody is fittingly rude, I'll NEVER TRULY KNOW. But yeah, if I like explaining history to people I don't know, then I'll have a field day explaining it to someone I literally created. I don't like thinking about tulpae like that but when you get down to it that's what happens. I don't think it makes a tulpa worse than a regular person, though I could see why it can be confused sometimes.

 

Other than that, not much happened. Tried some meditation, had some success, but not much compared to listening to music with Lith (yes I rhymed intentionally, and yes you're welcome, and no that wasn't a very good rhyme seeing as the words were literally right next to eachother). However, there is something that I've been doing that I feel is probably common but I want to talk about it anyway. When I'm doing certain things and passive forcing I like to imagine Lith maneuvering through my brain to the different lobes based on what I'm doing. When I listen to music, he's in my temporal lobes. The auditory ones, to those who haven't hastily looked up what the fucking lobes in your head right now are doing right now. Like, how do we not just know that? All I could remember was the occipital and frontal lobes. But yeah, back to my original point. If I listen to music he hangs out in the temporal lobes, but if I'm watching the latest episode of Ross's Game Dungeon, and I have to listen and watch at the same time, then I picture him lying in one of my temporals, with his head in my occipital looking at a projection of what I'm seeing. Which, is not what the brain does, but I hope nobody will throw a cow over that little bit of brain anatomy symbolism. So, that actually wasn't really that important, but I thought it would be interesting to like, five people at 2:00 am.

 

So I'll go watch some Freeman's Mind, (made by the same guy who makes the aforementioned Ross's Game Dungeon, both of them good series, Accursed Farms on YT) and then sleep or something.

 

Sweet dreams? I don't dream a lot, but I bet I will with the help of good buddy Lith! Brother Lith! Elder Lith! Great, now he's a goddamned Mormon. I can actually see him really well with the dress shirt and tie and stuff. It's a nice look for him, I might stick with it until I get a better idea, which I probably will.

 

Oh, and I don't work for Accursed Farms, I promise.

[enigmatic_onion]

Having some annoying troubles with active forcing, I'll have to look back at some of the older guides I read. Still won't end my problems with meditation, but it should help.

 

Active forced for 30 minutes with some success, though I wish I could have forced for longer, but any forcing is better than none. Had some troubles remembering my tulpa today, probably going to ask my mom or something if I can borrow a ring. I told her about my endeavors, and while she thinks she knows, she isn't going to truly know before I tell her "Hey my tulpa is talking to me now" and then promptly walk away, leaving her confused and concerned.

 

Anyway, just wanted to check up on the thread, there hasn't been much poppin' other than my tulpa's presence becoming stronger. I just can't wait for the upcoming milestone, whatever the shit that is.

 

Also, I believe this is the one week anniversary of my tulpa-quest. Hooray me. And hooray you. And hooray tulpa.

 

To Valhalla.

[enigmatic_onion]

I have officially decided to not only scrap the previous form of my tulpa and the previous name. I can't quite tell what went wrong, or if anything even did, but as far as I can tell, neither I nor my tulpa liked it.

 

And now, since I'm generally as creative as a log of scheiße, I can neither create a new name or new form off the top of my head. I fooled around with some ideas but they ultimately proved inadequate.

 

I mean, I know something will come to me at some point, and my tulpa could just as easily come up with a name on his own, but it's just slow. While I generally think of myself as wise, I'm not patient at all. I think I need to stop thinking of myself as wise, implying I have experience, and begin thinking of myself as learned. As in well-versed in scholarly pursuits and, obviously, vocabulary, but without much experience nor patience. As far as I can see, the learned have potential, but are certainly not wise. At least not yet.

 

So I'll go force and try my damnedest to come up with both a new form and name for the presence in my head. Since I can't call him Lith anymore. In fact, I'm not 100% sure it will even be a male by the end. Only time will tell. In fact, time is a big part of this whole process. Like, a HUGE thing. An unimaginably important aspect, and an unimaginably annoying one for a man as impatient as myself. The fact that I've stuck it out for a week so far is kind of astounding to me. Well, it's actually the 8th day of tulpamancy in 10 minutes so, even more astounding.

 

EDIT: I caved and decided to return to the old form when faced with the dilemma that I legitimately cannot think of a form. I thought, "Well, if he legitimately doesn't like it, he can change it, and it'll be fine." Or, I'm hoping it will, though I see no real problems arising from that, unless I cause them by disagreeing and arguing. Also, I forced for half an hour very successfully, so much so that I decided his name would be the most unassuming common American name ever, Adrian. It's pretty common, but it sounds and is just uncommon enough to sound appealing. I think it might be changed (by him) later on, but for now, it's just fine. So the name and form problem is fixed.

 

We're far from done here, but Adrian and I are on our way. Cool stuff. Cheers. Hallelujah. Mazel Tov. Okay I'll stop.