Trix n Lemons

[Life n Lemons]

So What's up everyone. I'm sorta new here. Well not really. I found out about tulpas maybe one to two months ago, and didn't really understand it. I started to make one, but got bored very quickly. I just didn't think I wanted one, and didn't really put any effort into it, so eventually just gave up.

 

Eventually I get pulled back, because you know, the idea of it all is just different. Something that people on the street haven't experienced just makes me want to try it.

 

So I start reading guides and forums and join the subreddit so I can really educate myself, and make sure I put in the time to do this.

 

I started back up about Six days ago, and I'm writing this Progress Report thing mostly because I'm going to want to look back on it from time to time.

 

Now, I've read that people say that the most fun happens is when you're CREATING your tulpa. I don't know about you, but I'd think the fun would happen when they start talking, and interacting and so on, not sitting down and talking to yourself for an hour or more. I can understand the creation process being fun to some extent, but afterwards before they talk? Really?

 

I know this might be a grueling process, but I don't care man. Who cares? Not me

 

Enough of the boring shit. Let's get into this.

 

I'm 17. I've never had depression. From 12-15 years of age I had a huge case of Social awkwardness, but I (believe I) grew out of it with the help of some friends. At 13 something extremely unplanned happened. I became a furry. That's the Internet for you my friend. Things just happen. Why do you think you're here? I haven't even told a soul about that until now.

 

Anyways 6 days ago I started up again with the same idea I had. I bet you can't guess what kind of tulpa I made can you? Nah I don't think so. A furry. Wait... you were right? Fuck man.

 

Let's see if I can remember to the best of my ability what happened 6 days ago.

 

Day 1 - 8/18/15 Tuesday

 

So It was morning. I just decided that I was going to try doing this again. I had my form all ready from last time, and a few traits to create a base from.

 

I went all around my room narrating. I was trying to find something, anything to talk about. Lucky me, just about everything in my room has somwthing from my past attaxhed to it. So I spent about an hour or 2 just talking aloud about things I've done and friends that came over and memories I've had.

 

I got bored and went to watch tv. I basically forgot all about doing anything so I just tryed to passive force the rest of the day.

 

Day 2 - 8/19/15 Wednesday

 

School started today. So I'm going through my classes and stuff. didn't really pay attention during those 7 hours.

 

When I got home, I maybe narrated for about 30 minutes, and found a book to start reading.

 

It's called "The last of the really great whangdoodles" and its prolly about 7th grade reading level, but I didn't care. I mainly chose it because the plot is about imagination. And it's trippy. I read the first chapter to her and gave no more mind until bed, which I did a little personality forcing before sleep took me.

 

Day 3 - 8/20/15 Thursday

 

About the same as yesterday. Did a little bit of passive forcing at school, came home and read two more chapters. Some Active but not much.

 

Day 4 - 8/21/15 Friday

 

Same boring routine, but with even more passive at school. 2 chapters, maybe three I don't remember. Active forced for about 45 min

 

Day 5 - 8/22/15 Saturday

 

My Baby niece came over today and I was switching between passive and active during the time my neice was awake, which was for about two or three hours.

 

I made huge progress today because I can feel her around me. It's like she's there but isnt. Freaky and Awesome in one package deal.

 

I also started feeling this sorta warm buzz in my chest. You have no idea how hard it is to explain. It's like this feeling of anxiety mixed with the love. It gets really strong when she's in my head. I don't know if this is what it feels like or not, so maybe you might know?

 

I've never felt that before in my life

 

Day 6 - 8/23/15 Sunday

 

Today was easy. I forced so much. After dinner I read about 3 chapters and forced her personality a bit more. I was interacting with her in reality as much as I could manage, as well as in my mind. Still not vocal, But I feel like it's just around the corner.

 

Day 7 - 8/24/15 Monday

 

And now we're at the present. I went to school and forced passively and actively as much as I could remember to. I read text from my books, which probably bored the shit out of her, but forcing is forcing. I was passively forcing during my lunch and could sorta feel her walking next to me and my buds. When I got home I read about 2 chapters from the book. It's about a little more than halfway done, and I can't think of what I might try reading next.

 

The day's not over yet though, and I plan on forcing for maybe another hour or two.

 

I don't understand why people get headaches sometimes. I haven't gotten a single one yet.

 

See ya tommorow!

[ex ou]

Neat, good luck with school lemondude