Red with Me

[whtwvphntm]

I think keeping a record of my progress will help Red and me be less procrastinating. Red is not procrastinating just me. (sorry Red)

 

One of the first things I wrote about Red:

 

Things Red likes:

Muse (the band)

Doctor Who (the good episodes)

Cuddles

 

Does not like:

Futurama :P

 

These were the first things I learned about Red, even if they aren't still true, which they may actually be.

 

Red was originally a companion to my first tulpa Kudos (who I haven't spoken to in a while :s) but at that time I kinda gave up or maybe just let them drift away. I feel pretty bad about that. I think Kudos is still around but I decided to focus on Red for now.

 

So Red came back pretty strong from when I first started with him around a year ago. I started again only a few weeks ago. 7th August.

 

When I went to visualise him I noticed he was smaller and younger looking with fluffy, light red hair, he would hug me constantly and follow me around. I found it easier to visualise him in the same space as me instead of going to my mindscape which was different. A couple days later I wanted to have a look at the mindscape, I hadn't properly looked around in it recently. It was clearer and more detailed, the house we have there had a different entrance which made much more sense, the gazebo I show up in was more solid, there was a cover over the gravel path that leads to the house, it was a very interesting experience. I assume it was Red who changed it, and I still get the sense it was him.

 

After a few days he changed form to be a bit older looking, closer to my age, and his hair was darker red. I wanted to see if I could find a picture that would look similar to him, when I found the pic that is now my profile picture. I may have seen it before but I didn't even realise until I found it that he looks pretty much the same, except with no glasses. I looked at the picture again the next day and realised that he has yellow eyes, I didn't see that the first time but noticed that Red also had greeny yellow eyes, which I found quite interesting.

 

At the start I felt a very strong connection, or feeling of him actually being around, but in the last week he kinda feels faded and I think he sleeps a lot..I attribute this to the fact that I pretty much ignored him for about two days, a week into forcing. I feel REALLY bad about that. I think I am so introverted my brain just didn't want to continue..I have been talking to him everyday since that though, so I hope I can make it up to him.

 

The last couple days and a lot today, I have had more responses that feel like him. My brain seems to be filled with so many random thoughts though that just tumble around and make no sense which makes it hard for me to know who's thinking. I have heard some words (in mindvoice) from him I believe. They have all sounded and felt the same, so that is good. The clearest ones I have noticed are when he said my name, and commented on something when I was playing a game.

 

Well I think I need to stop here for now. If anyone reads this, thanks :3 (sorry for my ramblings).