Standing at the Crossroads: Exploring Tulpa (Legba & Daisie)

[mysonofrageandlove]

I completely agree with Zaya about this being beautifully in-depth! I actually want to fill out this personality sheet for Jamie. Would you mind if I did? Definitely want to ask permission first.

[Legba]

I completely agree with Zaya about this being beautifully in-depth! I actually want to fill out this personality sheet for Jamie. Would you mind if I did? Definitely want to ask permission first.

 

Absolutely go ahead! Like I said, I snagged it off a NaNoWriMo site, added a few questions and deleted most of the stuff that involved media (since as a character she wasn't exposed to modern media) and a couple others that just didn't fit. If you want to go through the original it's http://blog.nanowrimo.org/post/61118193819/nano-prep-the-official-nanowrimo-character

[Legba]

5/3/2016

 

Actually made it down to wonderland last night. I’ve been using the Headspace app as a way to train mindfulness and to get used to ignoring intrusive thoughts, and it seems to be helping. I haven’t gotten a subscription yet, but their Take 10 program is free, which is ten, ten-minute sessions. I’d definitely recommend it to anyone who has a hard time staying focused.

 

Now that I’m drawing again I should consider making a map or some landscapes of the wonderland. It’d make it easier to describe what I’m doing with a visual aid, I think. It’s not a particularly fantastical place, mostly an amalgam of parks and campsites remembered from childhood. My usual “workspace” is a fire ring near a picnic table, about halfway between a covered pavilion and a large tree with a door in it that acts as the entry to the world. I usually sit at the table, or cross-legged by the fire pit. I used to be able to build campfires, but I haven’t tried it in years. The whole area is divided from the rest of the forest by a stream on one side and a road on the other.

 

This time I decided to forgo my usual routine and instead poked about by the stream for a while, wandered through the trees behind the entry tree, then settled down with my back against the door. Staying out of “no-clip” was easier, though it felt a little like moving through molasses; I had to focus on moving each leg as I walked and my feet felt heavy. Rather than mimicking my posture as I sat, I sat cross-legged and focused on feeling the pressure on the sides of my feet and ankles and scratched my nails along the texture of my jeans (which was cool since I was wearing pjs mundanely).

 

I was very quickly able to pull up a glowing orb, that shifted to a bipedal being sitting in front of me, then slowly settled into a rough depiction of Daisie. From there I started working on details, pulling a lot from the drawings I’ve been doing, both visually and running my hands along to feel the underlying structures. I focused a lot on skeletal anatomy: how her shoulder blades connected to her back, the curve of her spine, the angle of her jawbone. I wasn’t able to do much with her lower legs and hips, I think I need to do some more sketches to work out how to realistically lengthen them to have her stand upright. Adding in fur detail was fairly easy, it seemed to want to pop into place fully realized without much effort. Scaling up her size from normal rat proportions meant that her fur was an inch or two long rather than half an inch on a tiny rat, so she’s very soft. When it was time to work on her hands I mentally asked her to give me her paws, then gently puppetted them into the position I needed. I know that too much puppeting is a bad thing, but it felt better to hold her paws in my hands and focus on them close up than have her holding them in her lap. They came into focus easily too, I think doing sketched studies really helped there. No work on personality this time, beyond vague projections of what I know of her as I worked on her body. I spent maybe an hour total in forcing her before I felt too tired and worried about falling asleep. As soon as I dropped my focus back to myself so I could stand up she blinked out of existence. Perhaps permanency is a thing to work on next.