bob's tulpa log

[bobolov]

So I've decided to make a progress report thread to allow me to note down some stuff in a way that is more coherent than the drivel I write to myself, and it might allow me the chance to ask a few questions if need be.

 

I started the process around the 8th of July I believe, and in terms of actual time forcing I've spent about 25 hours or so. I've also been narrating/talking to her as much as possible throughout the day, but I've not been counting that, mainly because I'm trying to prevent myself from convincing myself that certain things should/could/can/will happen at certain times.

 

I spent a reasonable time on personality, allowing room for growth as is inevitable, before moving on to working on form.

 

In terms of where we are, she is giving me responses via head pressure, particularly at the sides of my head. I'm not entirely sure what they mean though. They're not generally in response to questions but seem to be when I say something that perhaps she responds favourably to, but not exclusively. Any input on that matter would be appreciated, but it can mean different things to different people.

 

It seems that pressure on the left side is something that she agrees with, and on the right is something that she disagrees with, and so I'm assuming the same thing goes with 'Yes' or 'No' when it comes to questions. I say that (agree/disagree) because this happens a fair bit with narration as well as actual tulpaforcing, so it happens when I'm not expecting it, not necessarily in response to a question.

 

In the last session I had a lot of pressure on the left side of my head, different from the usual pressure though. Usually it is fairly constant, a sort of warm, tingly feeling. This time it was the same warm, tingly feeling, but was throbbing more than it was being constant. Again, I'm not entirely sure of what it meant.

 

Thanks to anyone who read that, feel free to ask me anything or to answer anything that I asked. Thanks.

[bobolov]

Not a great deal has happened since yesterday, another couple of hours spent forcing and many more spent narrating. I intend to use Dialogues' extended file tonight, which will hopefully be of use. I'll probably have another session of regular forcing at some point too.

 

She's been less responsive today than she has been the last couple of days, that might just be me though. It's quite difficult to tell sometimes.

[Guest applesauce99]

sounds awesome dude, keep it up!

[bobolov]

Thanks, I've been lurking for ages so thought I might as well post. Everybody was doing it, I just wanted to be popular.

 

I had another session using the G File thing that TulpaCouple mentioned in another thread, and it went as well as could be expected. It helps me get into a deeper state of concentration and whatnot than my usual sessions, but I still would like to get more done with it. I guess it just comes with practice.

 

The session was largely just visualisation and talking to her, one or two possible responses and maybe some movement when I was leaving.

 

I think I'm tired today, moreso than I previously have been over the last three weeks. I've had a headache all day, which I haven't suffered too badly with in the past, and I feel quite drained. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow and can keep up a decent rate of narration and tulpaforcing.

[bobolov]

Another couple of sessions since last time, visualisation is improving and she's started to move around a bit it seems. I'll keep at it, hopefully getting another couple of hours of forcing as well as whatever narration I do, and see if the movement keeps up. I hope so!

[bobolov]

Just had a great hour long session before bed. Some good visualisation and whatnot was done, but I got a feeling that I hadn't had before. It started in my neck, I thought it was just a pain or something from the position that I was in, so touched it and moved, but the feeling remained. I realised that it was possibly her, and the feeling became stronger and spread through my chest. It felt great, I'm not sure how I'd describe it other than that. I also had a lot of pressure on the sides of my head after that.

 

All in all it was a pretty good day. I keep staying up until about 4 though, which means I don't get a morning when I wake up.

[bobolov]

Another couple of days done, another few hours of tulpaforcing done. It's basically been more of the same, visualising and whatnot. Sometimes my ears feel like they are straining to hear things, but that could just be trying to hear sounds that aren't there.

 

It's going well, although I feel like she's been less active the last couple of days. Granted I didn't get much done yesterday because I went to the pub, but I still feel like she's been quite quiet. I'll just have to keep talking to her and tulpaforcing and see if anything develops.

[bobolov]

So another day or so has passed, I've been a dick again and force a small amount today. I had a headache for most of the day, got a small amount of forcing in but otherwise I've been a turd.

 

However, a couple of interesting points. I was walking to a friend's house earlier, and had a couple of instances of odd noises. Of course, walking down a road while listening to music is the sort of situation where you probably will hear odd noises, but they felt like they were coming from close to me, if that makes sense. I've also thought I've heard my name being called a few times, but again... who knows.

 

Finally, I was kneeling down earlier, and I felt someone nudge me in the back. It took me a moment to register, then I thought my mum/dad was behind me and nudging me. It definitely felt like someone had nudged me. I know, each experience is different and so on, but could that have been her doing that? It really took me by surprise, I haven't imposed or anything. Any input would be appreciated.

[bobolov]

Another day or two gone, another few hours of forcing done.

 

Weird stuff happened in the last session, I think her form has changed now. I had an instance where my body lurched uncontrollably a couple of times too, plus weird feelings throughout my body.

 

But aside from that, I've just had regular sessions with some pressure throughout the day.

[bobolov]

So the last couple of days, I've felt more and more like she's trying to get me to force through pressure and stuff on the sides of my head. However, when I do force, my visualisation is suddenly not existent. I can see the wonderland clearly, but I just can't see her at all. And not in the sense that things are blurry or whatever, I just can't see her. I can still feel her presence when I talk to her and stuff, and the same goes with narration. I'm still getting head pressure too throughout the day, and I feel like sometimes she might even be trying to talk (obviously that's guesswork, but it's possible). I just can't seem to see her.

 

For a rough estimate of time, I'm about 40 hours of tulpaforcing in. I narrate a fair bit through the day as well if I can. Any suggestions or anything? Thanks.