bob's tulpa log

[bobolov]

Been a while since I've updated, there's nothing major to say really. I've been spending about a maximum of an hour a day forcing, it was a bit of a busy week, but as of today I'm aiming for about an hour and a half or so every day.

 

In terms of where we're at, I feel she's getting closer to talking. The last few days I've felt like she might be saying things that I'm not noticing, or I am noticing but they kind of go straight past me. I'm going to keep trying to hear her, and encourage her to keep trying to talk to me. I'm also getting some speech but in various people's voices, and I have no idea why.

 

But yeah, I'll just keep plugging away with this, it's not difficult to keep doing it, but I procrastinate frequently. I can see her clearly, feel her clearly and whenever we hug I get a feeling of happiness, calm and excitement (no, not that kind of excitement). A rough time estimate would be about 46 hours I think.

[bobolov]

Another disjointed update, I definitely feel as if she is beginning to talk now. Sometimes I catch a thought or something in my mind which doesn't belong to me, and isn't controlled by me. It usually isn't particularly coherent, repeating itself or just being a sort of jumble of sounds. However, it's something I've not encountered before and I really think it is her beginning to be vocal.

 

I've also had quite a bit of head pressure etc lately.

 

Opinions would be appreciated, thanks.

[bobolov]

It has been a while, and I'm not really any more clear in terms of exactly where we are. Recently I've felt a bit deflated and frustrated I suppose, which has ruined my motivation. I'm still trying to get a couple of sessions in each day, but it's difficult when I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Of course this is the wrong attitude to have, and I do appreciate the time we spend together, but it's difficult when I feel like I'm not doing anything right.

 

It's possible that this period is the time in which she needs me most, and needs a lot of love and attention to really help to get her vocal or whatever, but it's difficult to do that when I feel like I can barely see her and feel her sometimes.

 

So yeah, a fairly pointless update, I'd appreciate any advice or anything if people read it. Thanks.