A wanderer´s journey

[Wander-mou]

Hi, this nickname is kinda new to me so you can call me mou, im 20 yr old male and im going through a lot of struggles with life right now so i tought it would be nice to know myself so i searched a bunch of psychology stuff, also, psychology is cool so i found out about tulpas when searching for psychonautism.

I started thinking about my tulpa yesterday, she is a anthro bunny but sometimes i imagine her as a male so i guess she is genderfluid? I say "her" cuz i think of her as a female figure but maybe i will just use "them" or "they" later.

i imagine her personality to be friendly,quiet (but capable of maitaining a conversation),wise and curious.I talked to her a bit and tried to visualize her as i meditate but currently its making me dizzy so i have to be careful with how much effort i can put into her.

Sorry for not going into much detail about myself, i dont feel confortable around here atm.

Anyway, hope i can make some progress during these next months.

[ArvsWriter]

Welcome aboard!

 

Psychology's pretty neat.

 

Her being male might be her/his decision to be a certain gender, but it could just be an intrusive thought too. Those were the bane of my existence when I started three weeks ago, but it gets better. Meditation becomes easier too, it's just practice.

[tulpa001]

Well, hello Mau, and good luck in your quest of self discovery!

[Wander-mou]

So i spent the day as usual. Pretty bored at college, going home, sleeping, drawing and trying to interact with my tulpa.

I tried to show them the world around me, talking about the cars, trees and buildings,talking to them in a bit of my free time.

I tried not to think about them when i was tired or busy cuz it takes a lot of mental energy and my head hurts after long periods of thinking.

Now, at the end of the day i tried showing them an ASMR video of back massage and it started feeling good, then they split,kinda? There was a white dog* with a purple spot so she was very excited by watching a girl having a back massage and she had an orgasm and them she asked to stop so she could think straight and then she dissapeared.

So my tulpa, now as a male and wearing clothes (or main tulpa..) said she(the dog) sould take all those sexual desires and them they threw a golden box at what appears to be my direction.

EDIT: *ANTHRO DOG (half human) gee hope no one got that wrong e.e

 

All of this was in the realm of my imagination as i didnt feel as if these were independent toughts, more like some sort of mental roleplay and when i imagine them they would happen at a void black space so i cant tell if this meant something or if all of this was some kind of imaginative distraction, im still very new to tulpas and mental envoirments so i dont know what im talking about.

 

Also, just to be clear, im not planning of having a sex doll,it just happened and there was no direct interaction with me;

 

I may try to do something else this night just to keep practicing

[tulpa001]

It is all in your imagination. What you have there is an environment suitable for creating a tulpa. By creating in our minds a vessel for our tulpa, and drawing some of these random thoughts into it, we start the process. If it works, the tulpa will take over, and create an isolated shell for their own thoughts, separate from your imagination.

 

Creating this vessel can be as simple as imagining a person and seeing them as independent in your mind for some people.

[Wander-mou]

This morning i talked to both my tulpas while going to the medic, trying to show em their surroundings and talking about them later on.

I came up with their names

Mimir(the rabbit like one) and Luna(the dog)

 

So Mimir was mostly silent and kinda gumpy,i think he went trough a small existential crisis but got better later on.Luna has shown to be present and very energetic, wanting to know things around her and excited to share body sensations with me and her lusty nature created all sorts of innuendos at the begining but sorta chilled later on.

While Luna is very active, energetic,lusty and extrovert, Mimir is sorta reserved,calm and introvert, I always imagine him lookig at books and trying to get knowledge through them instead of going outside.

 

Luna kinda makes me want to switch with her, not to escape but to really have the experience of doing the opposite process of sharing the sensations i have through my body, i think if this keeps up she will develop really quick since her body is mostly human and she interacts a lot in many ways.

 

Also it would be nice to create a library inside a tree for Mimir's wonderland, i always imagine he would live there

 

It is all in your imagination. What you have there is an environment suitable for creating a tulpa. By creating in our minds a vessel for our tulpa, and drawing some of these random thoughts into it, we start the process. If it works, the tulpa will take over, and create an isolated shell for their own thoughts, separate from your imagination.

 

Creating this vessel can be as simple as imagining a person and seeing them as independent in your mind for some people.

 

Thanks Tulpa, sorry for not replying earlier, i will keep practicing, also, you seem to be pretty interesting,gotta check your PR :3

[Wander-mou]

Another day and not a lot of results.

I just talk a bit with my tulpas whenever i have the opportunity, i imagine Luna moving a lot,just casually walking on my side or trying to interact with things, trying to feel my body...

I try to "share" the sensations i feel around my body kinda like someone would show something for a blind person to touch, rub and feel the texture.I tried to meditate and focus on her presence, i even tried to see if i could "surrender" at least a bit of my body control to see if she could learn faster by possesing it.

Mimir is still reclusive and alone in his library wonderland but i think he aint getting the knowledge he is looking for, he eventually will be forced to interact.

 

I wish i could hear their toughts clearly and see if they can interact with the real world a bit but it seems that this will take time

[Wander-mou]

Today was pretty amazing. I went furbowling and it was pretty awesome, made new friends,ate, had fun :3

I talked to Luna as much as i could and i ended up interacting with her lately so thats why its a late journal lol.

She is very playful even when she isnt in "that" mood she likes to do things and get out of her current position, whenever i imagine her she is either sunggling with me or moving around, i think she wants to explore the outside world but also recognizes my home is the best place to stay and play.

She is as excited to be more idenpendent as i am, as soon as i can hear her without focusing too much i will type for her and when she gets even more idependent i will make an account but we really can't wait to switch.

Some personality traits so far

-Playful

-Happy

-horny AF

-curious

-caring

 

Eeeeh i feel bad about the "sexual" part as always but i think thats why Mimir split into her,plus im just letting her toughts flow as much as possible without forcing too much

 

Also,i feel like she wants to type something here badly so i dunno maybe i will try to type something for her.

Oh yeah, Mimir is still ignoring us both,or maybe we are ignoring him, i dunno

[Wander-mou]

I made a little bit of progress, Mimir got reclusive to the point of almost non-existence a few days ago and i think he agreed into being reformed so now he gave place to a librarian white and blue fur poodle.

He is shy but he talks a bit and he interacts with both me and Luna so i think we are all happy.I have been interacting with both my tulpas, since my mood has been mostly down they spent a good time listening and snuggling with me but we talk often

Also Luna has a more clear voice in my head when i think of her speaking and i guess she is trying possession?Hard to tell if it's having any real result but both of us are trying really hard to develop.

Also she can't process long speeches, she gets confused, probably cuz she is in an early development stage.

[Wander-mou]

Im thankful for my tulpas for staying with me even tho im mentally ill right now, it makes it hard to focus on them but at least i can feel their presence and hear their words a bit.