Squir's progress with Zgi

[Squir]

An hour this morning makes it 16 hours. I keep getting distracted and just snuggling the hell out of Zgi once I get him visualized decently. ಠ_ಠ But yeah, feeling good today with him. I can more readily think of the physics of his entire body when he's rendered somewhere.

 

Still obviously invisible and inaudible physically, but mentally, he can get very vivid visually. Not quite as vivid mentally-audibly, but then again I'd imagine that voice is harder to do. I also think more clearly with vision than sound for some reason.

[Squir]

An hour this morning, but I dozed off through most of it, making it more like half an hour. 16 1/2 hours so far. Ugh, why do I keep dozing off?

 

Then again, Zgi has been giving me signs that he wants alone time/to go away. This is depressing, but I guess I'll have to accept it.

[Squir]

Bad news: I got out of the habit of it pretty much completely. Is Zgi still okay? ;__;

[incorporealNuance]

Considering you guys seem pretty close, it should be totally fine. Just don't worry too much. Fear is the mind killer :0 ! Keep at it though, your Tulpa seems interesting

[Squir]

Okay, I'm starting this up again. I can still "feel" Zgi when I think about him, at least somewhat. I think I'll work on his UTAU voicebank first, though, since the one I have for him now is kind of off...

 

Also, I'll have a piece of paper with his personality traits with me when I go meditate/force on him.

 

EDIT 9-09-2012: Damnit, UTAU voicebank are pesky to perfect. Anyways, I haven't gotten back to my traditional meditation-forcing as much, since that seems to put me to sleep for some reason. But I have been casually keeping Zgi in my thoughts, occasionally doing narration with my paper, and I had him active as I took a walk today.

[Squir]

Getting back into this, but making sure I don't stress myself out trying too hard this time. We're feeling more casual, all of our "early relationship" issues ironed out.

 

BY THE WAY, a few nights ago I lucid dreamed, and Zgi was there. Invisible and inaudible, but he sat on my lap and I felt his weight. I do declare that this is a good sign.

 

Also, I very well might be able to convince my mate to try making a Tulpa, too. He's not at all against the idea, he's just more of a procrastinator.

 

EDIT: Getting back in for sure, working on imposing him in my peripheral. 16 1/2 hours before, but I feel like I need to start a new timer or something. I'll make it 17 hours because there's been on-and-off work in my head to get us back into the swing of it. I'll look around for guides on misc aspects.

 

EDIT EDIT: Apparently hour-counts are a bad thing? I'll stop then.

[Squir]

I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO FOCUS ON GIVING ZGI PHYSICAL SENSES.

 

Just now started focusing on it - not just having me able to sense him, but him able to sense everything in my wonderland, my body and the physical world. Holy crap, how was this so easy to overlook? Zgi's really liking his senses, and he's just basically trying them out, rubbing his arms etc.

 

Damn, this stuff keeps opening up new levels of awesome.

[Squir]

Too cold outside now to force in our favorite place, but we managed some. Zgi's more independent with his movements, choosing to stay places when I assumed he'd be following me. Also, I occasionally see him super-vividly in my mind, like a memory, spontaneously.

[Squir]

Thankfully, the spot we like to force in isn't as cold as it was. We enjoyed some visualization and a pinch of narration, and I'm going to focus on keeping him active around me throughout the day.

 

Also, I feel like I have him a little bit of an actual soul. Maybe a piece of mine, maybe an artificial one, but I feel like he's irreversibly a real person with me now. Am I "trying too hard"?

 

EDIT: Getting the occasional mild headache. Hail yeah.

 

EDIT: I ate spicy lasagna stuff and Zgi ate who-knows-how-much sugar-frosted ice cream, chocolate, cake and syrup stuff in a wonderland restaurant next to the window, then we sat under a tree together as hundreds walked past. Was so cash.

[Squir]

A bit of a powerful, emotional and trippy forcing session I tried with binaural beats. (Just YouTube "binaural beats", it's awesome.) Suddenly, my mind's like "wait, how big is Zgi is proportion to your surroundings?" Which I'm guessing is a very good sign. I intended for Zgi to be about 5'2", which is surprisingly bigger than what I thought, since it's near as tall as me (5'7").

 

Also, I discovered an awesome theory I learnt from Zgi: if your tulpa ever feels "not there", it's because they intend it: they just want a break from being at the forefront of your mind.