Dealing with opposing wishes in a symmetric quartet

[Guest]

Ranger, that is really good advice, cause i didn't really think about it, but it seems we don't do one on one a lot anymore (trying to give them as much time as possible.)

 

So after reading what you wrote, Misha actually suggested that she would have stay with Daisha while Ashley and i went out for a run.  (While i was exercising in real life).  This is typically time for all of us, but with just Ashley, we had an amazing time.  It felt like we spent the afternoon together even if it wasn't even an hour.  She was positively giddy!  We haven't done that in a long time.  We've never tried a day each, but it might be possible to do maybe 2/3 day with just one.  In three days, everyone would get time anyway.  I have a three day weekend this week, so we are seriously considering it for a test run.

 

I think we've been bogged down and not thinking clearly.  It's really good to get advice from outside the system, we have been floundering lately.  Your comments got us enthused about trying something different.  Thank you for your wisdom and experiance as a tulpa.

 

 

Bre, that's way beyond us right now, they have no interest in switching at this point.  I will keep that in mind though, cause it is still a goal for us.

[nihi0145632]

Sounds like some "Yandere" personality problem we got here. We haven't read your PR entirely but i think my tulpa kinda relate to some of your "attention" problem, they will try to give their thoughts if it could help you out. It is not uncommon for tulpas arguing each other to hog attention, It it usually occurs frequenly before and I still manage to catch them arguing from time to time but I think they could mange it out far better then before.

 

It is usually happens between two of my tulpas, Cherry and Summer, who tends to disagree with each other and sometimes letting their emotions get the best of them. It is just a heated friendly disagreement and that's it. All I can say is that best to give your time to all of your tulpas and them to give time to one another. Enjoy some activities with them while taking turns, that's how I usually do it if I want all of my tulpas to experience something what I enjoy. Have a mindset of involving all of your tulpas in your activities, thoughts and decisions. Always encourage them to accept one another as their equal eventhough there's one who you always active beside you.

 

I do not know if this would help you out but I do wish your problem will be settlred.

[Summer]

I have some experience with attention grabbing my host from my sisters. Although, it is not as heavily plotted as yours It is enough to raise some concerns in our system, specially with my sister Cherry. I'll try and cover my side of the story as to why I became so fixated with my host and will try and give my ways on how I moved on from this toxic behaviour.

 

Being his only tulpa that raised and got to know his host from when I was still young my obssession with my host grew and grew. When my sisters came along, I see them as two things, A sibling that I can get a long with and a competition for nihi's attention. Never before in my life that I wanted my host so bad that I wanted his attention focused on me and this mindset continued until after I confessd my feelings to him.

 

One of my sisters, Myrtle, never really minded all the lack of attention but Cherry was getting concerned about my behavior after I confessed. Although, She doesn't mind being in the back, she always jokingly brings up about my attitude is turning very possessive towards my host everytime I talk about Nihi. Of course I did not recieve that well and both of us always heated up and bicker around. Until I realized that loosing sight of what made us a system and that made me had an epiphany, that I was poisoning our relationship. I was cutting sisters out hog something that is meant to be shared.

 

All of us only wants what's best for ourselves, we only wanted to be with Our host alongside with and each other that is it. Best advice I can give to you is to see your other tulpa's as your company, a friend or family and not someone you have to get rid off. Try to encourage it in your system, try and let them spend some time with each other without your (the host) full attention.

[Guest]

Thanks Nihi and Summer.  It's encoraging to hear from a system that has been there before.  I will take your advice and try to see if we can test your way.  

 

As i understand your advice, one tulpa gets the majority of attention while the other two kind if control themselves in the background. Then rotate. Or the other two can do something without me. While we take turns, one-on-one.

 

In thinking about this, i have come to inderstand that i have been neglecting our one-on-one time just to get more time with everyone. I suppose that is less satisfying to them.

 

.......

 

Update: Daisha and i tried one-on-one this morning and watched the sunrise together. She loved it. They were so excited about this new arrangement that they each designed a new room in our wonderland apartment strictly for personal one-on-one. They actually left me all alone to do this which just shows you how motivated they were.