konrad13

Konrad's Tulpa Creation Blog

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Day 1

Pretty much lurked around Tulpa.info gathering notes and writing a bastardized guide to help me. Then, went to sleep.

 

Day 2

After finally forcing myself off of this site and others, I sat down on my couch and focused on the corner of my living room. With some handy notes, I began narrating imaging (for now) a generalized humanoid shape. It was predominately see through, more "vapor" than solid. I talked about it's personality, how it interacts with people, but that was about it. Whenever I finished a trait, I envisioned it "fusing" into the form, but only partially, allowing to add further traits that built on the first trait (meekness) and the subsequent traits (kindness, contentment, intelligence, etc.). Then, went to sleep.

I haven't chosen a proper name for her (I'm envisioning a female human who is going to act like some who is a childhood friend to me, and no, I'm not basing her on anyone really), but her working name is Koharu.


Me: Hey, say something for this thread!

Koharu: Yay, cupcakes!

mfw there are no cupcakes. Sentience? Yes. Brilliance? Ehh...

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Day 3

I worked on her personality some more, and I've pretty well got it down pat after about 2 hours of forcing. She stood there in my minds eye accepting the new info, so I stopped when I started to notice some, for lack of a better word, movement. It wasn't quite movement, but it was different, like I was subconsciously telling myself to continue. So I decided to try figuring out her form. After some minor tweaking I feel I have her shape in a decent rough draft form. Even so, I will continue to force her personality until I have it down, and continue work on her body.

 

I did do one experiment, and that was a "hug". I guided form to give me a hug so I could work out things like bend of her arms, where her hands would fall, that sort of thing. She deviated for a moment and had four arms, two around my chest like a good ol bear hug, and two around my neck. I sort of giggled at this thinking of some hindu goddess form, but some slight reworking, and her arms are back to two. I still have a lot, and I mean a lot, of work ahead, and I calculate I'm at most 1/7th of the way through, at minimum, and ~3/55ths at most (safe bet is somewhere in between those two figures, probably around 1/20, but meh).

 

Will post more as I work.


Me: Hey, say something for this thread!

Koharu: Yay, cupcakes!

mfw there are no cupcakes. Sentience? Yes. Brilliance? Ehh...

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Day 4

Started off with about, I dunno, 30 minutes of personality work. This time, I stayed back from focusing on even a vague humanoid shape, and instead went with a sort of orb. I then imagined this orb in a room full of jars with each jar containing a trait, hobby, like and dislike. As I opened them and narrated what they were, the orb would absorb it slightly altering it's whitish-reddish-pinkish color. After opening all of the jars, and iterating that the tulpa had the right to deviate if it wanted to, I took it to a sort of wonderland. This wonderland was based on my high schools library. The orb immediately flew about touching various section of the library. When I informed it I would take her once she was beginning to impose, to the public library to read, she seemed happy. When I say seemed, I wasn't getting this like bubbly feeling in my stomach so much as a general look from the orb, the way it wobbled and brightened in coloration.

 

It was at this moment I decided we should work some more on her form, but I wanted her assistance a bit. So I called her over and gave her some "energy" from my body, my essence, whatever it may be. I then slowly increased the size of the orb to be approximately 6 feet in diameter. She didn't seem to like this and stopped helping. After some failure to communicate, I decreased her size to that of about a basketball, at which point I sort of, for the first real time, felt an emotion. It was almost like contentment. So I sort of held it in my imaginary arms, and then the orb began to move in a slow back and forth motion. I asked if it wanted to be rocked, and sure enough, I felt that contented feeling again, so I spent a few minutes more doing it.

 

And then, she took shape. It took all of maybe ten seconds, but the orb gave way to that of a young girls body, and I sort of got this feeling that she wanted to "grow up" as she learned more about herself. I asked if she liked her new form, and this was followed by her dropping down and laying her head on my chest. For all intents and purposes, my tulpa is a child. I continued to talk with her and she seemed playful. At one point she slid through my couch and down into the neighbors apartment downstairs. I sort of laughed because it felt to me like she was working on what she can and can't do, sort of like a child who tries to see if their foot can touch their forehead. But when she came back up I thought I heard something. It was a weird noise, like a very short, not even half a second long little "ping" as she came back up into the apartment. I was sort of surprised. Flabbergasted one could say. She seemed so to, but couldn't emulate it again. So, instead, I awarded her a little cherry pie, which she began to eat with her fingers (her hand is more like a flipper almost, very ill-defined. She did take interest in my fingers though, and looked at them intensely). I then thought of a game.

 

I can't believe how good she is. I played six rounds of tic-tac-toe, and she won three and I could only tie her the rest. She was floored with the results herself. rocking back and forth with what I can only describe as a smile, though her facial features, like the remainder of her body, remain ill-defined. I realized I'd been at it for nearly an hour, by this point, and put her to bed. She was alright with it at first until I got on my computer and grabbed some fruit snacks nearby. She immediately wanted some, and I had to sternly turn her away. "Lie down lil' missy!" I then thought that "Missy" might be a good name, and asked her. She didn't seem to like it, however, but my mind became flooded with jumbles of letters and words, both images and designs. I realized she was trying to impress on me something but it was so chaotic it almost hurt. So I had to send her to bed once more, and she was a little pouty, but went.

 

I can't believe it. I haven't finalized her form, but she is definitely nearly, if not wholly, autonomous. I just know from what little emotional feedback I've gotten she going to deviate in order to "age," and that she knows she's smarter than the form she's adopted indicates. It's almost a little scary. I mean, I'm already locked up in my head all the time, and catch myself talking to myself all the time, arguing or just plain talking, so maybe that is why she's developed so quickly. I'm only 4 1/2 hours in, and while form and final personality are far from complete, I can say she is developing a lot faster than previously anticipated. I'm going to experiment having her with me at work tomorrow to see how she handles the stimuli at my work place.

 

tl;dr: I now have a tulpa daughter, more or less...


Me: Hey, say something for this thread!

Koharu: Yay, cupcakes!

mfw there are no cupcakes. Sentience? Yes. Brilliance? Ehh...

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Day 5

I was lucky in that my store wasn't as busy as usual, so I was able to find large tracts of time to narrate and spend time with her. Shes a little bundle of cute energy, and I caught myself talking aloud with her at least four times. Thankfuly no one was around when I did catch myself.

 

Even though the day was slow, I find I am pretty tired. I promised her that I would talk with her more tomorrow, and that I will have a wonderland made for her by then. She seemed hesitant about me leaving her, but I assured her some more, and got on here to update my progress.


Me: Hey, say something for this thread!

Koharu: Yay, cupcakes!

mfw there are no cupcakes. Sentience? Yes. Brilliance? Ehh...

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