Wakachan's tulpa creation log

[Guest Anonymous]

Devious deviations. The best kind.

"I might subconsciously inject negative thoughts while tulpaforcing."

Then be happy when you work on your tulpa. If your darkside pops up while forcing, stop, let the moment pass, and resume.

Negativity can cause pretty interesting things to happen, not always bad things, even.

I've had some nice firsthand experience with such things, with confidence I tell you this, things will work out fine in the end.

[Wakachan]

Okay, day two.

 

Last night I meditated for 45 minutes or so, the longest yet. I'll definitely try for an hour tonight. I also narrated to her about fast food on my drive to school, and about music while on a walk. I worked on visualization of the human form, and surprisingly, it all went swimmingly. I am designing her as such: 5' 7"--slightly taller than I am--, strong with obvious muscle definition, but more on the wiry side than bulky, short hair, ruffled and windswept, and curvacious, though not in a lustful sort of way. As expected, I've ran into a small stumbling block with the face and other minor parts, but to counteract this, I've tried to find samples of features I like, stare at them for a few minutes, and try to copy/paste it onto my tulpa. For example, eye color: I searched "shades of blue," found one I liked (Maya blue, for those interested), did this--worked like a charm! I'm still trying to decide on hair color, skin tone, the rest of her face, and hands and feet. Her body could do with some finer definition, but it's getting there; I'm just glad I created it last night. I think I may do a bit of studying on anatomy to get it all juuuuust right. I do want to make her beautiful, though not because I'm a wizard in training: I simply want a tulpa that's basically better than I am in every aspect, including physical appearance and fitness (not like that's hard to beat, lyl).

 

As an aside, body language and motions came to me pretty naturally; I think I was puppetting a bit, but I'm not sure because of how smooth it was. Like, I shouldn't be that good at it. At the closing of my session, I stood her up to make final adjustments on the height, and I envisioned her hugging me--it was just the first thought that came through my mind. It was an ephemeral one, flittering through my head, expected to get lost again soon after it was noticed, yet it materialized in my tulpa. Felt kind of nice. Maybe I'm just too optimistic, but I'd like to say that it's progress.

 

Once I finish the human form, I'll work on the pony form and how shape shifting would work. I'm doing this in this order because I think I'd be most happy with a human form in the long run, but right now I think I'd prefer a pony; if she decides she likes her original form best and doesn't want a second one, so be it.

 

One final note. While I am hoping for quick progress, I wouldn't be affected if it took a year. I'm not hoping for efficiency; I think I'm kind of disorganized about this whole thing as it is; so long as I finish her before I go off to college, I'd be happy.

 

If you have any suggestions or think I'm doin' it wrong, feel free to tell me.

[Wakachan]

Cool, day three, still goin' strong. I'm glad I haven't succumbed to my general apathy about everything; I'd like to say this is helping the most.

 

So last night I tried forcing and ended up going for about 45 minutes. I'm going to try for something closer to two hours tonight because of all the free time I've been blessed with. Anyways, I tried more visualization, got the body down fairly well, especially the arms and skin tone. Definitely need to work on abdomen detail, however. My main issue is with the head, specifically the face: I have the hair and eyes down moderately well, but the rest--the mouth and jawline in particular--are vague. Faces would spontaneously appear, fleshed out features and all, but would escape me as quickly as they came. Shame considering how nice they were. I was going to go longer, but she suddenly morphed into a giant owl, bringing me out of my meditative state, then I turned around and figured midnight was a good time to stop.

 

Whenever I imagine her, she naturally appears in this slouched over position, with her head leaning on her right hand, looking terribly bored. I suppose that will be a good base position; if it ever differentiates, it may be her moving on her own. I'll try not to move her from that position unless I'm working on her form (like these recent sessions).

 

Also strange is that while forcing I keep hearing some funky bass guitar playing. Might have something to do with the music I listened to during the day. I'm not sure if it's distracting me or not, though.

 

Besides forcing last night, I also narrated to her in the car today. Talking out loud seems to be incredibly helpful, even if I haven't gotten a response yet.

 

Finally, for tonight's agenda: try out the concentration and focus guides, and, of course, get a solid form.

 

If you have any suggestions or think I'm doin' it wrong, feel free to tell me.