The Road Goes Ever On: Bee and Friends' Progress

[Lenore]

July 2025

 

We did some more experimenting with using symbolism to affect our mental state. Athelas and Bee used to have this whole process they would go through to get rid of intrusive thoughts. It was overly complicated, but that was the point, to provide a distraction. They finally figured out that they don't need all the frills and fanfare. Athelas can now use a simple gesture, sort of like my “zap” for awareness, to convince the mind to release negative thoughts.

 

We also did some work on visualization. We have a tendency to over-focus on small details, and then struggle to maintain them when looking at the bigger picture. Figure drawing exercises, especially gesture drawing, have really helped with this. It was good practice for thinking of our forms as single shapes, rather than collections of parts.

 

The other thing that helped was getting dressed together. I've always liked to change up my look from time to time, but lately we've been setting aside a few minutes every morning for me to decide what I want to wear. Then, we try to remember that outfit throughout the day. It really seems that deliberately invoking memory while visualizing makes the image more vivid and consistent.

[Shaula]

Oh wow! That is a really great skill to have! 🤩 I wonder if you could extend that to other things, like getting out of a bad mood. 

 

We are definitely going to try to get dressed in the morning, I have so many outfits I would love to wear but forgot I have. 😊 

 

I'm glad you're making good progress on visualization. 😊 

[Lenore]

August 2025

 

My reminders for everyone to be aware of our surroundings are starting to pay off. We had two lucid dreams this month after a long dry spell. Bee tried to summon Athelas, but couldn't either time. It's discouraging to think we've lost progress in that regard, but we'll keep trying.

 

We did manage to make some progress with presence imposition. I took a walk one day while switched in, and I tried imposing the others around me like Bee does when we walk. Even though I'd never tried it before, I could intensely sense Athelas walking behind me. It's a bit hard to describe how powerful the feeling was. I felt a sort of pressure on my back, like I needed to keep moving or he'd run into me. I really felt like there was another physical person behind us.

 

We were able to replicate the experience with Athelas and Bee fronting (Calliope hasn't tried yet). It only seems to work when whoever is fronting focuses on a single headmate to impose. Perhaps with more practice we'll be able to impose everyone at once with the same intensity.

[Athelas]

September-November 2025

 

We started September off strong. Our goal was to switch as frequently as possible. It was fun and informative. We realized that some behaviors we associated with Bee “stealing” the front are actually programmed into the body. They occur regardless of who is fronting, often without conscious input. It's a little frustrating. On the bright side, though, this means we can all work together to reprogram them.

 

Our primary focus was switching just before bed. We were curious how it might affect our dreaming. It turned out to have no effect on dream recall, or even on who was the “owner” of that night's dreams. (On one occasion, we went to sleep with Bee fronting. I had a dream, and then woke up switched in. That felt confusing for both of us.)

 

This practice does seem to have caused me and my fellow tulpas to dream more frequently. Lenore even had a lucid dream! We noted that her first instinct upon becoming lucid was to try to use magic, while Bee always tries to hover or fly first.

 

Unfortunately, we dealt with some health related issues in September. They took more out of us than we initially believed. Until now, we haven't had energy for much more than the bare essentials. It also became significantly more challenging for Bee to step back for the rest of us to front. We had such difficulty that we were briefly afraid we had lost the ability to switch. Thankfully, that's all behind us now.

 

We’re back to experimenting with switching and mental symbolism. Bee and I have been working on a centering ritual for calming extreme emotions. All is well again :)

[Shaula]

Awesome stuff with all the switching things! 😊 Sucks that you had health issues. ༼⁠ ⁠つ⁠ ⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠ ⁠༽⁠つ

 

Super glad all is well again! 😊 Can't wait to hear more about your switching experiments and things! 😁 

[ReallyArtificial]

December 2025

 

This month was pretty productive for us! We pretty much have our centering ritual figured out. Obviously, the stronger the emotion is, the more difficult it is for Athelas to calm it, but it's been very effective for getting us into the right headspace for meditation. The most notable thing about it is that part of the ritual involves him touching me on top of my head, and when he does so, I can actually feel it!

 

It's just the lightest little pressure (it reminds me of when tiny birds land on our head at work), but it's undeniably there. More importantly, we can consistently do it on command. With a little practice, we were even able to reproduce the sensation on different spots on my head. It's maybe not the most impressive form of imposition, but it's something.

 

Some switching related observations:

Spoiler

I continue to be amazed by the level of self-assurance and confidence Athelas and Lenore have. Things just… don't bother them as much. Even on the rare occasions they do get stressed, they process it differently and cope with it so much better than me. There was a situation we dealt with this month which I found so anxiety-inducing that I was basically paralyzed with fear, despite the problem having a simple and obvious solution. Lenore insisted on taking care of it, and handled it efficiently while calmly observing her own stress response, like, “oh, my heart is beating faster. Interesting.”

 

When Lenore is fronting, she also seems to have the ability to override the laziness executive dysfunction that makes me do things like leave dishes in the sink, even though the dishwasher is right there. Athelas can do this too, to an extent, but Lenore is on another level. Girl's a machine. She'll get bored and start randomly cleaning things, which is truly insane to someone as clutter-blind as me. This is why we say she's in charge lol

 

I've noticed what a relief it can be to put a degree of mental separation between myself and the body. (Our health issues from the past few months culminated in us being diagnosed with a chronic illness, which explains a LOT.) It seems like the brain fog that comes from not feeling well has the strongest effect on whoever is switched in. It actually feels easier for me to think when one of my headmates takes the brunt of it. Living in this body can be exhausting and painful at times, but at least I don't have to do it alone.

 

Going forward, we’re curious just how far into the “backseat” we can push me. We've started to notice more moments where I “disappear,” where I completely fade from my tulpas’ thoughts, as they occasionally fade from mine. It mostly happens when whoever is fronting gets really absorbed in whatever task they're doing. There were a couple times at work when Athelas didn't notice someone addressing him/us as “ma'am” or my real name, which I thought was pretty funny.

 

[Shaula]

That's some really cool stuff! 🤩 Congrats you all! 😊 

[ReallyArtificial]

Thanks Shaula! We always appreciate your comments!

[Lenore]

January 2026

 

We did some imposition work this month, inspired by Tea's progress with his centering ritual. In other words, we all took turns poking Bee in the head and face. Once we could all consistently produce a sensation of light pressure and/or tingling at a single point, we tried sustaining the sensation while moving it around. We still need more practice, but I really think we're getting the hang of it. Our next steps will be trying to replicate the sensation over larger areas and on different parts of the body.

 

We also worked on visual imposition with our forms and a small blue sphere. The most we can produce is a faint disturbance in our vision, like visual snow. This visual anomaly corresponds to the general shape and size of whatever we’re trying to impose. The disturbance from the sphere is well-defined, but our forms are never more than vague blobs. Sometimes we can see a shape that suggests a head and shoulders. They always appear at the proper height, at least.

 

As far as our other senses go, there isn't much to report. I feel like scent imposition is within our reach. It's one of those things we’ve practiced on and off for a long time, but never with any consistency. If we locked in I really don't think it would be too hard. We’ll just have to keep practicing and see.

[Shaula]

Hehe, I like that way of practicing touch imposition. 😁 

 

I guess it's slightly unrelated but could I ask you how you practice visual imposition? It would be nice to have another perspective whenever we start. 😊 

 

Also, congrats on all the progress! 😊