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im afraid of making a tulpa because im a pervert


Sob

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I will be completely honest here, im a piece of shit, i think of disgusting perverted things regularly and i have many intrusive thoughts, i also live with my family (im a teenager) and i dont want them to know about me having a tulpa, im honestly worried about making a tulpa just for it to be lonely and/or feel hate towards me, I really want a tulpa best friend but im afraid of thinking perverted stuff about them and them hating me, i really cant seem to control my emotions and ive been trying to change, i also dont want them to be influenced by my thoughts about them, i dont want to seek professional help with anything because this is still all secret, should someone like me make a tulpa? 


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Hmmm. This is actually a very good question.

 

First of all, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself; it's normal for teenagers to have "perverted" thoughts, it doesn't make you a "piece of shit", it just makes you a normal teenager! As long as you don't act on them in a way that hurts yourself or others, it's fine to have those thoughts.

 

However, when it comes to tulpamancy, yeah, it's very difficult to bring up a tulpa in an environment where you might sexualize/fetishize your tulpa without their consent. All I can say is that I am glad my host did not know about tulpamancy in his teens. 😄 He probably would have had the same kinds of problems that you've illuded to. My host and I may be a married couple now but that is something we grew into over time and consensually, and honestly the NSFW aspects of our relationship is a very, very tiny percentage of our interactions.

 

Having a tulpa can be a wonderful thing, but it definitely isn't for everyone. I can't tell you that you are or aren't the kind of person who should make a tulpa. But my instinct based on what you've told me is you should wait a little while. Try to straighten up your "mental house" just a little, provide a stable environment where a tulpa (and yourself!) could live, and then re-evaluate the idea again. Also, giving yourself time to think about it will help you understand whether you truly want to do it or not.

 

And if you do decide to do it, whether now or later, I and the rest of the forum will be here to help with questions and general advice! 😊 Welcome, and best of luck to you whatever you decide to do! 💚

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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Honestly i think you may be right, the only problem is ive been feeling really lonely, most of my friends were only friends with me because i was the "smart kid" in school and helped them with everything, i ended up using porn to cope and i feel like it ended up corrupting my mind, i could make a pillow look like the hottest thing in the world for fun and i hate that, as i said i want everything to be a secret as my family thinks im okay and i want it to stay that way, i have been trying to change for the better since im going to be an uncle soon, but the loneliness is at its highest right now, ive literally only found out about tulpas, while researching ways to make imaginary friends feel realistic, my main worry is exactly that, I dont want to make a tulpa to sexualize them i just need someone to talk to, about anything really.

Edit: Grammar

Edited by Sob
Grammar
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People with regular intrusive thoughts sometimes have issues with their tulpas, because their tulpas will sometimes say/do intrusive thoughts, lending those intrusive thoughts false legitimacy. I'd suggest researching how to cope with intrusive thoughts or, if you're able, talking to a therapist about it. Once you feel like you can cope with intrusive thoughts, and once you feel like you're prepared to deal with a tulpa having or enacting those same thoughts, then consider creating a tulpa.

Edited by harvestmoon

Meaningful words, I'm here!

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I also think it's okay for people of different ages to have various sexual fantasies. Some people might come to liking certain things and just can't change it. Don't blame yourself for it. If those are simple thoughts and fantasies and no one is hurt by them, then it's okay.

Judging by your words, I think that you just need a friend, someone who will understand you and be there for you. If you actually do feel this way and this feeling is strong, then your tulpa will feel it as well and will probably appreciate it. The experience of happily living together with a tulpa can cover everything negative you fear about right now.

 

I agree with Simmie that you should think more about everything before starting such a relationship. And if you will be honest and open to your tulpa about the things you struggle with and try to concentrate on your warm feelings towards them and give them your love, care and attention, then they might just answer with similar feelings towards you and help you to overcome the loneliness and other problems. Just be open and honest about everything and don't direct your sexual desires towards them, it they are not willing to be a part of it.

I am M a host. I live with Alice. She writes in red.

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if you read my post in "progress reports", You'll see one of the consequences of being a pervert and having a tulpa. Only problem is, I'm an adult and never grew out of the teenage fantasy mindset (some may consider me a little in that respect).  It is only natural to have the curiocity and urges you are having. its all part of the overall human experience. if our ancestors didnt have perverted thoughts in their teenage years, the human race could die off before we are even born. it's a defensce mechenism to ensure the continuation of the species. so there is no shame in your thoughts and how your feeling. My Tulpa was born out of the very thoughts your having, without me ever knowing about tulpamancy until much later in life, and realizing what was going on.

 

But if you are truly afraid of your thoughts, and want to keep from being inappropriate with your Tulpa and causing emotional harm, might I offer an alternative: a friend that would be the teenage version of a "drinking buddy", a non-judgmental person you can talk to about the thoughts and feelings your going thew. I didn't have that. i kept everything bottled up. and when i did have a friend and opened up about my fantasies, I was mocked and criticized. This way, you create that outlet that you need, being able to express yourself with out fear of "perverting" them. If you are afraid of perverting them in the long term, remember your Tulpa need not be human, or even animal. they can be a sentient mist, a personification of your favorite TV star, a father/mother/big brother/sister figure, or even an inanimate object like imagine having a miniature millennium falcon from Star Wars, or a Nimbus 2000 from Harry Potter. it can even be a physical object you cary with you like a key for your house or a specific pencil. Watch the movie "Finding Ohana" on Netflix. the red hed boy caries around a walking stick he named "Keanu" after Keanu Reeves. They don't explain the relationship there, but i bet you somewhere in the script notes, the boy had personified the walking stick, and has an entire personality built around it. The same idea as a pet rock. It doesnt have to be something you could be afraid of sexualizeing. 

 

Spoiler

Char's Harem:
Host- Max 37 yo Male
Tulpa - Char (Charlette), 22 yo (4 days realized) Female/Futanari 
Servitor (active)- Precious, Female baby girl/ sister-sub

Servitor (inactive)- Joc Male Bull

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

As someone who accidentally made most of his tulpas as a teenager, I'm very familiar with what OP is talking about, and there's definitely a big gray area there in terms of sexuality. I sometimes ask my girls if they resented me for it, and to varying degrees they said they did back then, but we've developed a healthier relationship dynamic in adulthood and they're very grateful for that. If you're set on making a tulpa before adulthood, perhaps you can apply some of the advice in this thread and find a healthy way to direct your sexual thoughts/fantasies.

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

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  • 1 month later...

Actually the funny thing is that I'm a tiny bit of a perv...

Devin: which I kinda wish you weren't since you share joint control with me...

S: = Sasha

Aly: = Alyssu

Hada: = Hadayaki

Z: = Zakiel

A: = Alex

Zen: = Zen

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  • 1 month later...

I think you should make a tulpa. You sound like you really need one. Having those thoughts could definitely become an issue, but your desire for a tulpa seems to be coming from a genuine place. I would recommend meditation and general mindfulness paired with your tulpa creation, just for some mental tidiness. It will also help with tulpa formation.

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