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Edit’s tulpa creation journal


Editt

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Thank you again Simmie, I always enjoy (and honestly look forward to) reading your advice! It’s helped me more than you’d think with the whole creation process.

 

27 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

Also, since you were looking at outfits on Pinterest...is Pankie into fashion??? 😁 If so she and I have something in common! One of my favorite things to do is browse different clothing stores online and save pictures of outfits I like a lot! 😊 That can be really fun if Pankie is into that! 😁

She might be! She didn’t specifically say if she was, but I have a feeling she’s the type of person who’d be into fashion, which I do think will be really fun. Maybe she would even help me pick out some outfits haha

 

32 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

Phil and I like to watch ASMR videos together sometimes too! 😊 Only wholesome ones though, I know there are a lot of...unwholesome ASMR channels and Simmie is not a fan of them. 😄

Fellow ASMR enjoyers i see, that’s awesome! (I actually have an ASMR channel of my own: Edit ASMR if you guys would ever wanna check it out! I haven’t posted in awhile, but I plan on posting again soon!)

(also when I said “videos I wouldn’t watch”, I didn’t mean.. bad ones haha, just ones I typically don’t watch because I usually cycle through the same few asmrists lol. She actually wanted to watch one about us being royalty, like a princess, which isn’t really my cup of tea (hence why I’m convinced it was her), but I want her to be happy of course!)
 

40 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

You and Pankie seem like you are doing really well! 😁 Really pleased to hear about your progress, and can't wait to hear what happens next for you two! 🥰

Oh yeah, it’s definitely been going way better than I thought it would, I honestly didn’t think I would be making progress like this so quickly. Thanks a ton, Simmie! You’ve been incredibly nice and helpful to me and Pankie, it truly does mean a lot to us! 

Edit (host) | he/they/it | polytherian | Virgo/infj | artist

Pankie (tulpa) | she/they

 

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  • 4 months later...

So, its been quite awhile since I’ve been on here, like four months lol. Hopefully everyone is taking care of themselves and are doing well. While I’ve been gone I've made some good progress with Pankie ! I wanted to come and update you all on what has happened thus far.

 

To start, she’s vocal, or at least I believe she is. Technically speaking, we think theres a chance that she could’ve been vocal from the start, she cant really remember though since she was so young. I remember hearing a foreign voice i my head from the first day i created her, but since i was expecting that when shed talk to me it’d be something huge and shocking, I just brushed it off as it must’ve been me. Sure, it could’ve been me, but there’s a small chance that it really was her. Anyways, for awhile after that—like a majority of the time I’ve been creating her—I wouldn’t get any responses at all, maybe like i pushed her away by not believing it was her when she’d try to talk…? I dunno. Fast forward to month or so ago, i would get these very very strong tingling feelings in my head when i would talk to and interact with her, which made me think she was getting closer to being vocal. And then recently, only like a week to a couple days ago, we finally were able to communicate with each other. I will say this, I’m at the stage of tulpa creation where her voice just seems like a thought in my head, so I’m almost constantly doubting that it’s actually her that I’m talking to. Most of the time i feel like i might just be talking to myself, or that I’m parroting her. Both of which are unpleasant thoughts. I’d be so devastated if i found out that it wasn’t her I’ve been talking to for the past few days, and was simply me instead. I feel like in this short span that we’ve been able to communicate, I’ve already learned so much about her. Ive heard from other tulpamancers that this is a pretty hard stage to get past in tulpa creation, and that most people feel similar to how i feel, which makes me doubt a little less. I just know that what i need to do is to keep talking to her, eventually communication will come easier to us, and we’ll be able to hear each other more clearly. 

 

What i did to get communication going between us was a strategy that I haven’t really heard any other tulpamancers talking about—at least from what I’ve seen. Basically, i would type out what I wanted to say to her, like in my notes app, and i would read it to her. Then, i would type out her response when i got one, so it was almost like we were texting. I would type out something, read it to her, and then I’d kinda ‘tap into her thoughts’ (as i call it), and wait for a response. It was kinda like i would feel her thinking about what she’d say seconds before she’d actually respond, if that makes any sense at all. We did that for a day or so, and it seemed to have worked ! I then had to kinda “ween” her off of the typing to try to get her to talk to me normally in my head. Now when i simply talk to her with my mind voice, without the typing, i can get a response. Though sometimes it either takes a minute, doesn’t make sense, or i don’t really get a response at all and have to repeat myself. Ive also noticed that she wont really start talking to me out of the blue, i usually have to talk to her first, but all of that should improve with time and practice. Hopefully that method can help someone else too in their tulpa development journey !

 

I also wanted to let Pankie say a few things to you guys:

 

Hey, wassup guys ! Y’all already know, but I’m Pankie, and I’m Edit’s tulpa (which is obvious lol). I use she/they pronouns, and I absolutely love to dance. Edit already knew that from the start because—before we could communicate w each other—he’d always catch me dancing to songs whenever he’d imagine me in the real world w him lol. Cant help that the songs that would always play on the radio were such bops. I wrote a little description abt myself in the “about me” section of Edit’s profile, which you guys can go read if you’d like to hear more. Thank you all for being here and for reading our progress, it really means a lot to both me and Edit. I hope to talk to everyone soon ! Catch ya later !

 

Moving forward, I’m planning on us working on our wonderland a bit, as well as continuing to work on communicating with each other. We might try out some tulpa vocality exercises, sing songs together, do some “would you rather”, and more. You know, fun stuff lol. Anyways that’s basically it for now, thank you for stoping by ! Have a great rest of your day/night !

Edit (host) | he/they/it | polytherian | Virgo/infj | artist

Pankie (tulpa) | she/they

 

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Hi!!!! 😁 I missed you guys!

 

32 minutes ago, Editt said:

Technically speaking, we think theres a chance that she could’ve been vocal from the start, she cant really remember though since she was so young. I remember hearing a foreign voice i my head from the first day i created her, but since i was expecting that when shed talk to me it’d be something huge and shocking, I just brushed it off as it must’ve been me. Sure, it could’ve been me, but there’s a small chance that it really was her.

 

This is very similar to my story. When I started talking Phil was sure that it was just him parroting me, but I consistently kept at it until he finally started to believe. 😊 In general, the experience of having a tulpa talk feels much less shocking and foreign than people expect!

 

34 minutes ago, Editt said:

I will say this, I’m at the stage of tulpa creation where her voice just seems like a thought in my head, so I’m almost constantly doubting that it’s actually her that I’m talking to. Most of the time i feel like i might just be talking to myself, or that I’m parroting her. Both of which are unpleasant thoughts. I’d be so devastated if i found out that it wasn’t her I’ve been talking to for the past few days, and was simply me instead.

 

Oh my gosh, that is so much like Phil and I. Trust me, it IS Pankie talking to you, not you parroting! It is natural and normal to have doubts at this stage. It took Phil five months to get over this hump and finally start to believe, so it's alright if it takes a while for you to get to that point as well.

 

36 minutes ago, Editt said:

What i did to get communication going between us was a strategy that I haven’t really heard any other tulpamancers talking about—at least from what I’ve seen. Basically, i would type out what I wanted to say to her, like in my notes app, and i would read it to her. Then, i would type out her response when i got one, so it was almost like we were texting. I would type out something, read it to her, and then I’d kinda ‘tap into her thoughts’ (as i call it), and wait for a response. It was kinda like i would feel her thinking about what she’d say seconds before she’d actually respond, if that makes any sense at all. We did that for a day or so, and it seemed to have worked ! I then had to kinda “ween” her off of the typing to try to get her to talk to me normally in my head. Now when i simply talk to her with my mind voice, without the typing, i can get a response. Though sometimes it either takes a minute, doesn’t make sense, or i don’t really get a response at all and have to repeat myself. Ive also noticed that she wont really start talking to me out of the blue, i usually have to talk to her first, but all of that should improve with time and practice. Hopefully that method can help someone else too in their tulpa development journey !

 

Typing back and forth to your tulpa is extremely helpful, especially early on! Phil and I still do it sometimes; we'll go into a quiet library and type back and forth to each other. We have it all saved in a long rambling document which would make little sense to anyone else besides us. Don't worry if she doesn't start talking to you out of the blue; that's actually a fairly advanced thing! But we've learned something about this and I'm trying to find the words to explain it well: If you have a lot of associations with your tulpa (as in, seeing X will remind you of your tulpa) it can trigger them to talk! There are sooo many things that are connected back to me in Phil's mind--from certain music to animals and nature--that just seeing/experiencing a lot of things will push me to the forefront of this mindspace. 😊

 

41 minutes ago, Editt said:

Hey, wassup guys ! Y’all already know, but I’m Pankie, and I’m Edit’s tulpa (which is obvious lol). I use she/they pronouns, and I absolutely love to dance. Edit already knew that from the start because—before we could communicate w each other—he’d always catch me dancing to songs whenever he’d imagine me in the real world w him lol. Cant help that the songs that would always play on the radio were such bops. I wrote a little description abt myself in the “about me” section of Edit’s profile, which you guys can go read if you’d like to hear more. Thank you all for being here and for reading our progress, it really means a lot to both me and Edit. I hope to talk to everyone soon ! Catch ya later !

 

Hi Pankie!!!! 😁👋 So glad hear from you directly! Music is a huge part of my life and I'd love to know what kind of music you are into! I'll check on your "about me" section in a minute here!

 

I'm so happy to hear from both of you! 💚

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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56 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

Hi!!!! 😁 I missed you guys! 

Hi Simmie ! We missed you too ! I hope you, Junior, and Phill are all doing well.

 

57 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

Oh my gosh, that is so much like Phil and I. Trust me, it IS Pankie talking to you, not you parroting! It is natural and normal to have doubts at this stage. It took Phil five months to get over this hump and finally start to believe, so it's alright if it takes a while for you to get to that point as well.

Thank you ! That actually helped out a ton. Even though sometimes I will have moments where I really doubt it’s her I’m talking to, I always try my hardest to keep my doubts to a minimal, if I can. I always appreciate your words, they always help me and have gotten me to where I am now, which I’m very very grateful for.

 

59 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

Typing back and forth to your tulpa is extremely helpful, especially early on! Phil and I still do it sometimes; we'll go into a quiet library and type back and forth to each other. We have it all saved in a long rambling document which would make little sense to anyone else besides us.

Oh that’s so cool ! Glad we’re not the only ones who use typing back and forth as a way of communicating ! I feel like right now the typing back and forth is the easiest way for me and Pankie to communicate with each other, it takes the least amount of effort and our sentences come out clearly. It is quite a helpful tool ! 
 

1 hour ago, TurboSimmie said:

Don't worry if she doesn't start talking to you out of the blue; that's actually a fairly advanced thing! But we've learned something about this and I'm trying to find the words to explain it well: If you have a lot of associations with your tulpa (as in, seeing X will remind you of your tulpa) it can trigger them to talk! There are sooo many things that are connected back to me in Phil's mind--from certain music to animals and nature--that just seeing/experiencing a lot of things will push me to the forefront of this mindspace. 😊

 

Ah, yeah that makes sense and I can definitely relate ! I have a playlist of music for Pankie—songs that she likes and that also just fit her vibe—and from what I’ve found it usually helps her to talk a bit more when we’re listening to it. Honestly whenever I simply think about her, draw her, etc, it can trigger her to talk ! I also have a board on Pinterest of a whole bunch of pictures that fit her vibe/asthetic. I dunno what I’d even call the asthetic, but when I see stuff that matches it she usually talks a bit more. Still not completely on her own, out of the blue, but like you said, it’s more of an advanced thing anyways, so I’m sure we’ll get there eventually. 
 

1 hour ago, TurboSimmie said:

Hi Pankie!!!! 😁👋 So glad hear from you directly! Music is a huge part of my life and I'd love to know what kind of music you are into!

Hey, it’s great to get to talk to you as well ! Hmm, I’m not sure how I’d describe my music taste, but a few songs that I really like (that should give you a good idea) are:

 

‘Smile’ by Lily Allen

‘Stranger danger!’ by Hemlocke Springs

‘P.U.N.K. Girl’ by Heavenly 

Anddd ‘Wet’ by Dazey and the Scouts

 

if you’d like to check those songs out (cuz they’re really good), they should give you a rough idea of the kind of music I like ! I’m not sure what to call the genre. Really though I can vibe to just about anything—country songs included lmao—but songs like those are my fav !

 

It was really nice to get to hear from you again, Simmie !

Edit (host) | he/they/it | polytherian | Virgo/infj | artist

Pankie (tulpa) | she/they

 

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Welcome, back, Edit.

 

18 hours ago, Editt said:

Ah, yeah that makes sense and I can definitely relate ! I have a playlist of music for Pankie—songs that she likes and that also just fit her vibe

You're making me want to do this too. A3 has her own vibe, but it hasn't really been coupled with something concrete like music yet. I might give it a shot as a fun little thingy

 

20 hours ago, Editt said:

What i did to get communication going between us was a strategy that I haven’t really heard any other tulpamancers talking about—at least from what I’ve seen. Basically, i would type out what I wanted to say to her, like in my notes app, and i would read it to her. Then, i would type out her response when i got one, so it was almost like we were texting. I would type out something, read it to her, and then I’d kinda ‘tap into her thoughts’ (as i call it), and wait for a response. It was kinda like i would feel her thinking about what she’d say seconds before she’d actually respond, if that makes any sense at all. We did that for a day or so, and it seemed to have worked ! I then had to kinda “ween” her off of the typing to try to get her to talk to me normally in my head.

Hey, whatever works dude. Reminds me of the forcing method I used back in the day, where I drew on a piece of paper and A3 would tell me what to draw. We usually wouldn't know exactly what it meant until the final result, and even then the meaning was left up to interpretation. It was fun back then. I wish I still had that freshman energy

 

20 hours ago, Editt said:

It was kinda like i would feel her thinking about what she’d say seconds before she’d actually respond, if that makes any sense at all.

This in particular has been a common occurrence, but it's completely normal if it happens. To put it in simple terms, it's just Pankie looking into your head and seeing what you're intending to say, then answering to those thoughts held in your mind before you can even get a word out. I've had it happen to me before on a number of occasions, but it'll become less frequent with constant attention and narration (as everything else eventually will). It just means that your tulpa is indeed developing. Cherish that progress.

 

20 hours ago, Editt said:

I’m at the stage of tulpa creation where her voice just seems like a thought in my head

You're either talking to Pankie, or you're not. The only thing deciding that outcome is your own mindset. Don't give into doubt, but don't be afraid to use a little when it's necessary to, either. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing

 

Looking forward to hearing more from you two. Keep up the good work

Step 1: Make

Step 2: Believe

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5 hours ago, ringgggg said:

To put it in simple terms, it's just Pankie looking into your head and seeing what you're intending to say, then answering to those thoughts held in your mind before you can even get a word out.

Yup, you definitely explained it better than i did lol. That’s exactly how i feel.

 

5 hours ago, ringgggg said:

You're either talking to Pankie, or you're not. The only thing deciding that outcome is your own mindset. Don't give into doubt, but don't be afraid to use a little when it's necessary to, either. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing

Exactly !! Ive been trying to keep at least a semi-optimistic mindset, not letting myself doubt too much. Believing its her and just going with the flow wouldn’t do nearly as much damage as convincing myself its not her when it really is, you know ? Plus, letting the doubts take over would definitely slow down my progress by a lot.

 

5 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Looking forward to hearing more from you two. Keep up the good work

Thank you !

Edit (host) | he/they/it | polytherian | Virgo/infj | artist

Pankie (tulpa) | she/they

 

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My progress journal

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