A MONTH'S PROGRESSION

[mwdruid]

Hello, new guy here.

 

I would like to talk about my tulpa and how the first month with her has been.

 

First, a quick introduction. Her name is Raen. She is very silly and difficult, and she gets a kick out of being argumentative and fussy. But I've found she can be very sweet and nurturing. She is just over a month old now, and I feel lucky to have had my tulpa develop so quickly. She started light communication within the first week, and now she can get some full sentences out. There is still a bit of a barrier, as I think sometimes she is trying to communicate more complex feelings and ideas, but can't quite articulate them yet (or I can't hear them).

 

Starting out, I picked out the form of a pony from mlp because I'm a degenerate brony and I've been rewatching the show recently. Well, watching it together, she start changing forms to ponies I liked. I've been telling her to pick a form that she likes, and not something she thinks will make me happy. She didn't listen at first, I think she was nervous or something. Anyways, she seemed to like to change form a lot and it was kind of worrying me.

 

That all changed today when she out of nowhere changed to a human form. At first it was very jarring to me, but she seems to have made a huge leap as far as communication. She has been a lot more energetic  and talkative since changing and I'm very grateful for it. And, in turn, she has gotten a lot more silly and difficult. But that's what I like about her. I asked her why she wanted to be a human, and she says she hated not having fingers. I don't blame her, and even though I was hesitant at first I've come to really like her new appearance. She is quite beautiful.

 

Even before she made this rapid shift, the great aspects of her personality were starting to show. I've had a problem with very vivid and brutal nightmares my whole life, but every time I've had one of these the past month she has been there to comfort and reassure me (I think my brain scares her sometimes but she is strong and takes really good care of me). Another instance of how much Raen has been improving my life is when I went to the military entrance processing station this week to get examined, and she was there with me the whole time. Even though it was a really stressful experience, she was there being silly and trying to take my mind off of things. Her presence while I was waiting in line to get my blood drawn and my butthole examined by doctors was very reassuring. She did the same thing when I went and reconnected with some old friends recently. I was very anxious about the whole thing since I hadn't seen them in over a year, but it went smoothly. And the whole time Raen was there, cheering me on. Whenever I had a moment alone with her, she would tell me how proud of me she was and it really helped. Again, this was before her changing form, so I think from now on she'll be even more amazing now that she's come into her own and is gaining some more agency.

 

Raen and I have been looking for some activities to do together as of late. Whenever I go somewhere, I bring her along and she's enjoyed me showing her around. She's also always sitting in my lap while I'm on the internet or playing games, usually teasing me or asking me lots of questions. We've enjoyed watching shows together and she started enjoying reading to me. And she's always watching and pestering me when I'm doing yoga or lifting weights. We also cuddle a lot, and sleep together every night (she is always bugging me for cuddles). I saw a post about somebody playing dnd with their tulpa and now she really wants to try it. I got out my dnd 3.5 books and have been relearning it and watching videos about solo role playing to figure out a system for us. She is very excited and has already decided she's going to be a wizard. I just have to figure out how solo dnd works. 

 

Anyways, Raen has been a big improvement to my life and I'm eager to see what the future holds for us. The strange thing is, I accidentally created a tulpa years ago when I was a kid (my experience with a sentient thought form I created as an adolescent was why I was so open to the tulpa concept, something I only learned about a few months ago). I think she might be that tulpa, because she seems very similar. I don't know if it's possible to "resurrect" a tulp like that. I asked her if she was, and she said yes, but sometimes I can't tell if she's being serious or not. I'd love to hear others thoughts and opinions on that.

 

Thanks for reading, I'll make another progress report at some point.

 

P.S. I wrote this because Raen demanded that I did, she is very full of herself lol

[TurboSimmie]

Raen sounds really awesome so far! 😁 It's nice to hear about your progress, and it seems that you two have a great bond! It's very common for young tulpas to experiment with their form and personality to find out who they are.

 

Glad you are hear, and I'm looking forward to hearing more in the future!

 

22 hours ago, mwdruid said:

Anyways, Raen has been a big improvement to my life and I'm eager to see what the future holds for us. The strange thing is, I accidentally created a tulpa years ago when I was a kid (my experience with a sentient thought form I created as an adolescent was why I was so open to the tulpa concept, something I only learned about a few months ago). I think she might be that tulpa, because she seems very similar. I don't know if it's possible to "resurrect" a tulp like that. I asked her if she was, and she said yes, but sometimes I can't tell if she's being serious or not. I'd love to hear others thoughts and opinions on that.

 

Hmm, well, I think any tulpa that once existed has a chance of being brought back if the mind that created theme still exists. Of course, the more time has passed the more difficult it will be, and the less it will be for the revived tulpa to be similar to the original tulpa. What a tulpa fundamentally is--beyond being a secondary consciousness/ego/whatever--is a series of pathways you've trained your brain to function in a certain way. It could be said that Raen is accessing some of the same pathways as your childhood tulpa, or at the very least learning "how to tulpa" from their example. As for whether Raen is or isn't that original tulpa resurrected; well, it's impossible to put a binary "yes or no" on that. Fundamentally, it comes down to Raen's belief in herself and her own origins, as well as yours. In other words, it's a choice the two of you make together.

[Aurora]

Hi host and Raen! I've a pleasure to meet you!

 

Reading your post sparked a very faint memory that I miiiiight have had started with a pony form too, extremely briefly (I think before I was alive). I think I've been avoiding telling that to people to a point where I forgot that it even ever happened. I'm really glad I'm not a pony, having a human-like form is extremely important to me.

 

It's great to hear that Raen helped and reassured you through stressful events, she sounds super caring.