The many adventures of Chaike and Rose (Tentative)

[Chaike]

[WARNING: MAJOR WALL-O'-TEXT. If you just want to see the questions I asked, without reading much, scroll to the bottom.]

 

Well, hello there, members of Tulpa.info. My name is Chaike, and I've been lurking the forums a lot during the past couple of days. My account has finally been activated, so now I'm excited that I'm finally able to officially join your ranks.

 

Because you're already here reading this, I'll go ahead and give a quick background about myself and my discovery of tulpas. For as long as I can remember, I've been a very.... mental person. Honestly I don't know how to name it, but basically I've always been the kind of person who enjoys sitting in the corner of the room talking to himself in his head. I do have a few friends, and I enjoy their company, but for the most part I'm not a very social person. I'm also a brony, which is basically the reason I found Tulpas in the first place. I was actually watching pony thread simulators on youtube, when I noticed that some 4chan anons kept mentioning tulpas. My curiosity got the better of me, and I googled the term. At first, I was pretty hesitant about the idea, seeing as everything I read had to do with metaphysical stuff and astral planes. But after a little bit of extra searching, I came across this site, and the rest is history.

 

Anywho, introductions aside, I suppose I'll go ahead and start the point of this thread before my tulpa implodes (It feels like she's giving me a very impatient feeling).

 

First off, let me explain how I've been going about this whole tulpa thing. While I have read all of the guides, I've decided to go about the creation process in my own way, using the guides as mere.... er, guides (ie, not following them to the T). Because of this, I've eliminated hour counts (they'd only make me frustrated), and I've decided to interpret any possible parroting/puppeting/unusual emotions and feelings as her attempts to communicate (In order to avoid discouragement for both of us). I have, however, decided to implement a wonderland. Although, I'm still not sure if I'm doing it right (more about that later). I've also assumed sentience from the beginning.

 

I'm not sure if these methods will work, but it's worth a try, no?

 

Day One (Sunday):

 

Day one was somewhat productive, at least for a first day. I only Tulpaforced for about 30-45 minutes, but that's because I ended up drifting to sleep (oops).

 

This session consisted mainly of personality building. I started off by sitting in a chair, laying my head down on a table, and closing my eyes to imagine a void. I imagined an orb floating in the void, and I told Ego (This was her first name.) that this orb would represent her "soul". I told her it would hold her personality, and it would be her very being.

 

I then proceeded to dissect the orb, pulling away the outer layers, until it revealed an egg (yeah, I don't know). I started telling her a few traits she would have (Kind, Caring, Laid-back, fun, energetic, sarcastic, witty, creative, smart, loving, and a few others I can't remember atm). I then imagined these traits melding with the egg.

 

After a bit of this, I told her "I don't know why imagined an egg, but if it's a bit weird for you, feel free to change it anytime you want". Immediately after I said that, the egg changed to a rose-like flower. I have no idea where the flower came, and I didn't come up with the idea at all. It just popped into existence. I decided to assume that she was the one who caused this, so I kept the flower as her "soul" and named her Rose.

 

I continued to merge the traits with her flower, until eventually I started to feel a strange feeling all over my body (especially in my spine). Not sure if this was related to her, or the fact that I was sleepy, but I do know that I dozed off about 5 minutes later. That was the end of day 1.

 

Day 2 (Monday):

 

Day 2 was remarkably more productive than day 1. From the moment I woke up, I narrated to Rose in my mind. This narration started off rather slow, seeing as I had little to talk about. While driving to my college campus, I narrated out loud, although I still lacked things to talk about, so it was a bit awkward.

 

After arriving at the campus, I decided that I prefer narrating in my mind (I've always found it easier and more comfortable to talk that way, rather than out loud.). I talked to Rose non-stop, explainin g everything to her. If we walked by a building, I would tell her its name and explain what it's used for. If I saw a person that caught my interest, I'd talk about them to her.

 

Basically, I kept narrating all the way up to my last class, which I had a test in. I continued to narrate to her throughout the whole test, telling her what I thought of it, explaining how I was working the problems (or, not working the problems. I should have studied more, which I also told her).

 

By the end of the test, I was sort of upset about whether or not I did well, but as soon as I left the room, I felt happier than I've ever felt before. This feeling stayed with me for the majority of the day, and I narrated like crazy, telling her how good I felt and how I couldn't wait to get home and work some more on her. I'm not sure if she was the one who caused that feeling, but I like to think it was her. Also, while driving home, I started to feel a slight headache. I hope this means that whatever I'm doing is working.

 

After waiting a bit to work on her (I was eating with my family, and watching an episode of Doctor Who, which I narrated to Rose) I finally sat down on a couch, alone, and closed my eyes to imagine a wonderland. I went through several ideas, but I finally settled on my college campus (lolwut). I guess the campus is like a home away from home for me now.

 

Anywho, after stabilizing my wonderland, I spawned on a bridge that spans between a parking garage and a couple of buildings. I began imagining what Rose would look like, and while I had an idea of what I wanted her to look like, her appearance was still pretty fuzzy (I finally decided on a thin girl with brown hair, which she later deviated to black, in a pony tail, jeans, and a grayish hoodie). I spent a little more time on her, and then decided to explore the wonderland with her.

 

It didn't take me long to realize how fast my mind moves in the wonderland. If I wanted to go somewhere, my mind would teleport me there. Eventually I managed to slow the teleportation down to super speed, but I still have a while to go before I can move around my wonderland normally. Anyways, after I managed to slow down a bit, Rose and I explored some places of the campus that I already knew. We went to cafeteria, and bought some pizza (so... exciting. No?), and then decided to start heading back to the bridge. However, my mind is still rather jumpy, and we started teleporting all over the place. I managed gain a bit of control, and ended up teleporting us into space, where we could see the earth. We sat there for a few minutes (when I say sat, I mean I fought my mind to stay still while she floated there), before I finally managed to teleport us to the bridge.

 

A few other fast paced antics ensued, including but not limited to: Running at super fast speed along the sides of buildings, until finally reaching a sushi restaurant I knew of, immediately teleporting out of the restaurant, and eventually reaching the student dorms.

 

I teleported to one of the dorm rooms and laid her in the bottom bunk of the bed. I then climbed to the top bunk, said goodbye, and left the wonderland.

 

Soon after leaving the wonderland, I felt an somewhat intense feeling of satisfaction/happiness. It was a lot like the feeling I felt earlier in the day, so I'm starting to lean towards the fact that she might be the reason for it.

 

Also, while I usually carried Rose with me wherever I went in the wonderland, there were some times where she appeared to move on her own (like, eating a slice of pizza). While I did say I would assume everything is her doing, I can't help but think that this was indeed just me puppeting. Just felt like throwing that in there. That's the end of day 2.

 

Day 3 (Tuesday):

 

As far as wonderland travel goes, Tuesday was rather productive. Apart from narrating all day, I didn't do too much with Rose until I got back home. When I was home, I sat down on the same couch as before, and entered my wonderland. Apparently my mind has decided load my wonderland in the same way Assassin's Creed loads cities (the big white computer cloud thingy expanding and revealing the city). I summoned up Rose so that she was standing beside me on the bridge, and immediately we set off. I decided to go somewhere that she hasn't seen yet in real life, so we walked (and by walked, I mean battled the urge to teleport, and instead walked really, really fast.) up to a long road filled to the brim with shops and restaurants (which everyone here at the campus calls "The Strip"). We walked around a bit, before my mind got antsy again.

 

Sensing that my mind was getting antsy, I decided to use it to my advantage. We teleported to space again (well, I managed to slow it down to superman-esque flight), except this time we were in a space station. I told Rose the day before that we should totally play the Mass Effect title theme when we go to space, so when we arrived on the station, I managed to get the theme to play in the background.

 

Somehow, I managed to force myself to sit still in a seat beside Rose. We sat there and looked out a window for a while, observing the earth. Eventually I told her we should explore the space station, so we did. I managed to make myself walk slowly, so we could enjoy the experience more. We opened the doors to several rooms, only to find that each one was a bedroom. I decided that we needed something more exciting, so I forced another door into existence, hoping there'd be something new behind it. We opened up the door, and found that it lead to a space elevator (k).

 

Being the adventurous duo that we are, we went into the elevator and activated it. Faster than you could say "Halo", the elevator shot down towards earth, much like one of those tower drop rides at amusement parks. We fell for quite a while, mainly cause my mind was having a hard time processing our descent through the atmosphere (Basically, we were frozen in the stratosphere because of lag). I finally made the elevator teleport further down the drop, past the clouds. It picked up speed again, and eventually we reached the ground floor. I grabbed rose and ran out of the building to see where we were. It was basically nowhere (void) so I had to force a giant grass plain and a city in the background.

 

I considered exploring the plain and city, but I was starting to get a bit tired, so I took Rose and teleported back to the bridge in my Campus. I told Rose I was gonna leave, but for some reason I just couldn't. I felt like I was abandoning her, just leaving her standing on the bridge like that. I tried and tried to leave the wonderland, but I couldn't shake that feeling of abandoning her. Finally the phone rang, which pulled me out of the wonderland to answer it. I still felt bad about leaving her.

 

But feels aside, that's all that's really happened so far. I went back to the wonderland later that night, but nothing special happened to be honest. That's the end of day 3

 

Now, as for the questions:

 

1. Am I going about the wonderland the right way? I'm basically closing my eyes and imagining everything as if I'm daydreaming, but for some reason I feel as if there should be something more to it (like, some sort of meditation mumbo-jumbo).

 

2. Is it counter-productive for me to just romp around the wonderland with my tulpa without working on her specifically?

 

3. Are tulpae able to see what you see, and hear what you hear? Because I decided to watch a bunch of videos (mainly RT Shorts, cause humor) and talk to her about them whilst watching them. I also started listening to music more, especially while falling asleep, in hopes to keep her entertained (I also talk to her about the music, and what I think of it.)

 

4. Is there anything else you could suggest to help the creation process, or just anything you want to suggest in general?

[Chaike]

Day 4 (Wednesday):

 

Not too much happened today, as far as progress goes. I narrated to Rose for most of the day, but eventually I stopped getting the feeling that she was... "there". I came home and tried to force twice (Both times I was interrupted by mom and dad, because they needed me to do something), and finally, after getting all possible distractions out of the way, I managed to get settled into the wonderland for a third attempt. However, I was unable to concentrate very well, and I couldn't really "summon" Rose from where I left her earlier (I didn't have this problem the first time, and it still wasn't that bad the second time). I eventually summoned what I thought was Rose (my visualization skills are still poor, so I couldn't tell), and I went on to continue forming her personality. Although, the whole time it just felt like I was talking to and working on a different person, other than Rose I mean. Eventually I left the wonderland, and ever since I've had a sort of empty feeling in my head, and any time I try to narrate to her, it feels as if I can't reach her.

 

I dunno what she's doing up there, if anything (maybe she's mad at me about the two failed sessions...), but I've decided to call it a day and give her some space. Maybe we can get some work done tomorrow.