Ø & clix: Progress Report

[oceres]

Hello! You can call me Ø, & this is a journal of my work with my tulpa, clix.

I started working with zim 17/12/23, late at night, after maybe a day or so of taking in as much tulpa content i could find. My initial form for Him was a winged humanoid, but ze quickly deviated to a medium-sized, fluffy quadruped. The personality I had in mind was friendly & excitable, someone who could help me get over my general anxiety around people, though He turned out to be a lot more Regal, talking highformal & being rather unopinionated initially. Ze is quite a bit more playful now, however.

I quickly fell asleep after that. 

The name 'clix' (specifically uncapitalised) felt right pretty much immediately, though for a day or so I mistakenly called Him 'stix'. The pronouns were similar, He/Him & ze/zim. 

 

I've worked with clix kinda on & off since, struggling to remember to passively talk to him & struggling to keep focused when I do get the chance to actively spend time. Written, guided visualisations have helped greatly. There's one thread on this site we're making our way through, and chatgpt has been useful too, though the most interesting part of that one was when deviating from its guidance. In a wonderland bookstore, I learnt that clix isn't 'a fan of the stories of others', & that ze likes fudge, something I hadn't had in ages. We got some recently, and He loved it. 

 

We have also been looking into chaos magic, & doing that together. I consider it nothing more than a fun placebo effect & motivator, though I'm unsure of clix's beliefs. I consider zim a psychological phenomenon, though I know He considers zimself as something beyond myself, & calls Hymnself an 'altergod', for presumably spiritually-related reasons.

We have made a sigil, designed by zim, for tulpa individualisation, & a collaborative digital oracle deck of sorts. 

 

Something notable, is that clix's form seems to change quite often. Maybe He hasn't settled, maybe zeer form will always shift, I don't know. Sometimes it's simply a slightly different colour tint, sometimes it's antlers or stripes.

 

This is just a recap of the first two or so weeks of progress. Future entries will likely be much different, probably milestones, things we would like to remember, & anything of interest. I'm hoping to get clix to write a bit Hymnself, when ze's ready. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Edited January 2, 2024 by oceres
adding link

[ReallyArtificial]

19 hours ago, oceres said:

Something notable, is that clix's form seems to change quite often. Maybe He hasn't settled, maybe zeer form will always shift, I don't know. Sometimes it's simply a slightly different colour tint, sometimes it's antlers or stripes.

 

Very cool! There's really no reason ze has to stick to a single form, except maybe to make visualizing a little easier. Two of my tulpas have a humanoid form and a quadrupedal form that they swap between whenever they feel like it.

 

Sounds like you're off to a pretty good start. Good luck with your continued progress together!

 

(Also, totally realized we managed to get both of your names wrong in the intro thread, sorry about that! Welcome Ø and clix 😊)

[oceres]

On 12/31/2023 at 3:50 AM, ReallyArtificial said:

(Also, totally realized we managed to get both of your names wrong in the intro thread, sorry about that! Welcome Ø and clix 😊)

i didnt specify my name or how to write clix's, so its not your fault at all hsjdk. thanks for the welcome & the response :}

[oceres]

I haven’t spent a lot of time with clix lately, but I tried joining zim in the wonderland last night. I spent the whole time struggling to keep focused, & it never got very clear, but some interesting things did happen.

Firstly, clix was wearing something of His own free will when I saw zim. Just some golden bands on the left feeler & right talon, but the first self-expression I’ve seen from Him other than shifting zeer body as a whole. Which still took place, tail dipped in black, but I digress.

Secondly, clix was also pretty impatient with me, & actually got upset at me. Usually He’s very chill, but we talked & ze was pretty pissed that I’ve been ignoring Him so much, so that’s something to work on.

The final thing of interest was the city. It appears quite magical, moreso favouring clix’s ideas than my own. Ze appears to have been there before, though I was unable to focus enough to really explore. clix did some stuff meant to aid me in future visualisations, & actually hurt me. It was part of it, & didn’t so much Hurt, but the pain & scar are supposed to let my brain keep in mind I’m using the wonderland body, or something. He seems to know what ze’s doing.

[oceres]

i got clix to write a little thing of zeer own, i think its rather interesting. the first sentence is mine, the rest is all Him

 

 

The wind rolling through the mountains sings. I taste the starlight bouncing off white rock. My tail clears powdered snow. I pace down the trail. 

The Roost, as Ø likes to put it, greets my entry. I flap my tail against the hard wall. The moon-loved water tickles my snout as I dip to drink. In my chamber, I keep my eyes closed. Tearing through unliving walls, the soft rain envelops me. Purple textures and green tastes worry my rest.