Minimalist Log

[rendezxvous]

Simple log just to keep progress of stuff. Started working on my tulpa last sunday or monday, I don't quite remember to be honest. Been doing lots of passive forcing and narration, a bit of visualization and active forcing too. I've writed down several personality traits since the beginning and I'm trying to talk about them to my tulpa.

[rendezxvous]

Nothing new to add. Still doing passive forcing as much as I can. Thank God the headaches I was experiencing are now gone. 

[rendezxvous]

Never thought I would be back at tulpamancy after all this time. 

I've been interested on this topic for many many years now. And even though all my attemps at creating tulpas were massive failures, I always get pulled back into tulpamancy somehow.
It's almost like this attraction is something intrinsical to who I am. A very tribal instinct that keeps reappearing over and over again.

Rereading those old logs here was nostalgic in a very bad way, since I had just experienced one the most painful event in my life at the time.
Very ironic, since 2025 has been of one the worst years in my entire existence as well.

It seems like Tulpamancy always comes back to me when I'm in the lowest points of my existence.
I'm currently extremely depressed, and having "those type of thoughts" daily.

My brain hasn't been working properly, and I feel like a dumb, sluggish creature
I need to focus on something in order to escape that feeling and those thoughts.

I'm working on a new tulpa now, but I'll be using the same log for practical reasons, since I never truly understood how forums actually work.
I'll also be using this log as a miscellaneous journal to note down all sorts of things. 

[rendezxvous]

I've been reading the first Dune book by Frank Herbert, while reciting some passages out loud to my tulpa.
I don't recall exactly where I first learned about this method. 

Yesterday, we've spent most of the day outside. 
I took that opportunity to talk to my tulpa while walking, and it was somewhat pleasant.
 

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Trying to fix my life right now. 
Planning my days, making schedules instead of acting on whims.

I feel like I'm positively building a habit of speaking to my tulpa. 
I particularly enjoy talking to her out loud when I'm home. 
I can't really do much of the "active forcing" thing, since my mental canvas is always invaded by 1000 thoughts per second.
To fix that problem, I would have to build up mental discipline.
But since I already have trouble doing it on the physical plane, I'll have to work on the mental one when things are more stabilized.

Otherwise, I've been experimenting on the "fanfiction writing" talked about on the "Your Local Wizard's Tulpa Tips Box" method.

I also keep thinking about that person who spent 8 hours a day during a period of 3 months solely working on his tulpa.
I wish I had his discipline and willpower... Kudos to that guy. 
Flaubert also used to work between 5–8 hours daily. 

I think I'll keep that rythm of posting here every 2 days. 

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We finished the first Dune book and it was an amazing experience. 
The twist on the last chapter was actually mind-blowing.
We'll rewatch the 2020 movie by Villeneuve now to make a comparison.
We'll start book two in a while as well to keep the pace going.

Otherwise, I keep talking to my tulpa especially on long walks outside, but also out loud at home.
I don't even expect any results to be honest, I'm just getting a grip onto something to remain sane.

[rendezxvous]

Spent most of those last few days with other people, so the conditions were not really ideal for any tulpamancy work.
I still talked to my tulpa whenever I could, and the fact that I was having a conversation with her ended up helping me out on a very difficult situation.

I've been trying to fix the "visualisation" problem that I previously mentioned.
I'll try to experiment with JD's Guide to Visualisation to at least have some sort of direction.
I would say my main issue at the moment is keeping the image on my mental canvas still, without it transforming into something else after a couple of seconds.
Also, it seems that some parts of the image are kinda blurry, like they're out of focus or something.
So, I tried to visualize specific parts of my tulpa instead of her whole body.
Seems to be working for now.

Didn't continue my essay regarding the fanfiction method by the way.
Maybe I should keep going? I don't know yet.

I feel like a mad scientist sometimes, combining anything available on my path in order to reach some kind of result. 
That's how I've always operated anyway. On a very chaotic, disorganized and orderless manner. 

Watched the second Hellraiser movie, huge banger! Amazing artistic direction and concept!
I've been in love with Christopher Young's soundtracks since I first discovered his work on Sam Raimi's Spider-Man 3 (Very overhated movie by the way).

[rendezxvous]

I've read an english translation of a russian guide yesterday written by a certain Dvoevod.
The author says that it's good to try and imagine one's tulpa sitting next to the host, or them walking with you on the street, etc...
He would, for example, move a chair so the tulpa could sit as well. which I found pretty cool for some odd reason.
I already talk a lot to my tulpa while walking outside, because it helps me stabilize my anxiety levels by not focusing on what's happening around me.
I've tried to notice her presence on my shoulder, and also imagined her sitting there as I walked.
However, at first, it felt counterproductive, because I was being forced to be aware of my surroundings again.
I'll try it out again tomorrow and decide what's the best course of action to take.
 

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I think it's best for now to just keep talking to my tulpa instead of visualizing her.
I've been having some very unplanned and chaotic days lately, but things seems to be going back to normal at least.
That's cool, because I was starting to miss spending time reading books at home.

I don't remember exactly how many days I was into tulpa creation before getting back into this log.
Therefore, I didn't wrote a single entry regarding the process behind my tulpa's personality, which I'll be doing right now by the way:

[ I haven't done any particular personality forcing exercises regarding my tulpa, since I believe the traits she's inclined to develop in the future are intrinsically attached to the form I gave her.
In other terms, her appearance was designed to speak directly to my subconscious. ]

It's also noteworthy to mention that, in my previous attempts at tulpamancy throughout the years, I would often get the so called head pressures when doing passive forcing.
This phenomenon is not happening at all this time, which doesn't concern me in the least to be honest.
I've seen users on the past in r/Tulpas saying that those head pressures are actually a by-product of intense focus, and not linked to tulpa activity like most people tend to presume.
I'm particularly more inclined to believe on those claims for some reason. But that's just my subjective opinion on the matter, which can be 100% wrong.
 

[rendezxvous]

I'll try active forcing tomorrow after a 15 minute meditation session.
I want to see if this will help clearing my mental canvas of intrusive thoughts and images.

I used to have a mental place I would visit while listening to The Gateway Tapes.
It was the corridor of a medieval castle, which gave entry to an open space filled with grass.
Sometimes, a huge jack-in-the-box would also be present on that area.
I tried to go back to that place a few times, but I realised it isn't nearly as vivid as it used to be back in the day.

It's hard for me to really grasp the "wonderland" concept, because my extremely immersive experiences on the mental field usually only last a couple of seconds.
Being totally submerged on the mental field for minutes or hours sounds like something very alien to me, especially if you're keeping your whole consciousness fully awake on the process.