The void stares back, 10 years later

[Voided]

Hi all.

 

This will be the start of my new progress report. 

 

I'm coming back to tulpamancy after a long time. About 12 years ago, when I was 15-16, I undertook the process of tulpamancy, ending up with a very complete mind palace, but a not very complete tulpa. Cringefully, my main tulpa Helix was based on a character from a lewd internet cartoon whose design and personality I liked, which I then worked on forcing while fleshing out the other aspects. Though my results were unsatisfying, I was usually able to feel something akin to a presence if I thought about her seeing life through my own eyes, and felt confident enough to attempt control switching at some point, without success. My goals at the time were to simply have a friend, which I did feel like I achieved in some form, but the more advanced strategies of visual imposition escaped me, and I gave up 2 years later as my life changed.

 

Now, I seek to return to tulpamancy again, with a set of fresh mind's eyes. However, I am wondering about how to proceed with this. I am considering attempting to bring back the  thoughtform, even though it was a product of adolescent immaturity with impure intentions. The visual work I did is just too invaluable to pass up. However, the personality trait work I did, now lost to time, is not one that I think would clash with current me - she was brash, arrogant, a bit short tempered and a dash cruel at times. 

 

Having found my old progress report, I certainly had a bit of fun flipping through my old ramblings, but did not find much of value in terms of stuff that could be brought forward - in fact, I have more questions than answers from it. I guess I tried to have 4 simultaneous thoughtforms at one point? Homestuck AND MLP tulpas?! Helix was some sort of split personality tulpa? And I created an entity called Sophi, later named Void, to replace her, but she had the same for as Helix? Memories fragmented, some of these things I don't even remember happening. Ironically, my last post was this:

 

Quote

Who knows where I'll go. Maybe I'll be be back, or maybe I'll save you reading this forever.

Well, I'm back, and I'm right, I don't know where I'll go, or how exactly I'm going to proceed with things from here. But hey, that's what this is for. 

 

My current plan is loosely this:

• Begin forcing immediately with skills I already have to re-establish connection
• Read the extensive guide material to get reacquainted with process
• Contemplation of approach given previous relationship with Helix/Void
• Personality/visual work for integration into forcing process
• Attempt research of my older posts for guidance
  • Unlikely to be possible/useful, the account was nuked and had over 1k posts

All of this to be achieved and refined over the next two months with my current life schedule, hopefully for 1-2 hours each day.

 

After that, summer will be around. My life will shift as I am student, but I will continue to build upon the above, and begin using psychedelics to attempt more serious work on tulpamancy - this was a step I did not undertake originally, and not one I take lightly. However, I recognize the benefit these things can have, and my extensive use with them can aid me greatly with the mental tasks associated with tulpa creation.

 

I am unsure how I will approach the format of this at this point. Will have to figure that out later. 

[Autumn Ren]

Welcome back officially! You can force any number of your previous thoughtforms or just start a new one. If any of your "old friends" ever progressed, they'll pop back in pretty shortly thereafter and you can work with one or more of them instead. Failing that, it may happen they'll awaken in the next 6 months to a year so decide how you would deal with each one if they do given you may have a new one.

 

Lastly you can consider personality forcing and I have a procedure in drafts addressing that and what was done for me.

 

Good luck!