The Incans Progress Report

[The Incans]

[Ezri]  still doing ok mainly Jess and I co-hosting together. Lena is happiest inside it seems, though she has been out to help us for a couple of days with appointments, organising household chores and do some 'batch cooking' for us, but when they are done for the day she returns to the Wonderland.  This seems to work for us getting some jobs done in morning for a couple of days a week, while we have energy and having a couple of full rest/recovery days in between or to coincide with rainy days.. (eg we got all laundry sorted..clothes and bedding over the sunniest days so they can be hung out to dry rather than using more electric on tumble dryer or heating ... and had a rest day when its gonna be rainy/thunderstorms all day etc)

 

We don't have any more appointments this week so Jess and I are planning a long weekend with some new games we've downloaded and new worlds to explore together! 

 

Lena has worked out how to leave her 'copy of self' inner body active inside so the others don't 'miss her' when she's helping out here and reblend with it when she goes back inside and wants to 'play mummy' again.

[The Incans]

[Lena].   I enjoy the inner world but I like to come out and help too and with tweaking the passing of time inside and being able to put the others [non-sentient Tulpa's] in sleep mode if needed we've been able to manage so I can come out and help with appointments AND enjoy an inner life with my Tulpa family.

 

Basically we've made it so its something like in game worlds eg you can be playing for a couple of hours in the real world but a week has passed in the game....  so last week we were really busy in the outside world and I was needed up front daily for several hours per day then a really long day friday....on Tuesday night once the others inside had gone to sleep I left them in sleep mode...stayed up front with host until the appointment was over (Friday) then spent the weekend inside where I could speed up time a bit to catch up. 

 

We have decided the inside 'NPC Tulpas' will not be developed to the point they become fully aware of the outside world and passing of time.  They will just remain companions for myself or Jess more like visiting an 'Holodeck world'. ..otherwise it becomes too taxing and exhausting for the host's brain if the inner world is on 24/7.

 

We can also blend with host completely to preserve energy which is basically like 'sleeping out front' when they need to rest so we are all resting at the same time but host is not having to expend energy thinking of the needs of 3 and can just focus on what the physical body needs when energy reserves are low.

 

 

[BearBaeBeau]

We have a lot of "NPC Tulpas" I just call characters or even "moons", we have dozens of those who choose not to concern themselves with the outside world or aren't even lucid enough to recognize it and that's all fine, the alternative would be pretty problematic.

[The Incans]

On 8/15/2024 at 2:06 AM, BearBaeBeau said:

We have a lot of "NPC Tulpas" I just call characters or even "moons", we have dozens of those who choose not to concern themselves with the outside world or aren't even lucid enough to recognize it and that's all fine, the alternative would be pretty problematic.

 

yeah our NPC ones are changeling it makes it easier they can change to whatever form they prefer and tend to be more independant. They're kind of into sprites & fairies at the minute.

 

I've kinda gone off my 'host name' and am thinking of changing it but can't decide what I want to change it to (i don't like  to use my legal name on forums). Jess after playing human for a while has decided she's had enough and prefers the freedom to change at will and wants to go by her nickname 'Tinks' as we found it meant "an affectionate name for someone special"

 

from a name site:

"the name Tink means "Love. An affectionate term for someone special" and is of Filipino (Philippines) origin"

 

..(she prefers an S on the end though as I used to call her 'My Inky Tinks').

 

I'll change her name on our signature when I decide what my 'nickname' will be. Lena still likes Lena!

 

[The Incans]

I decided on Mila, Jess has returned to being 'Tinks',  Lena has kept her name so as not to confuse her family in the wonderland, but she doesn't front so much now unless I need additional support with something like a medical (or some other) appointment that I can't avoid.

[The Incans]

Honestly my system is giving me headaches recently!!! 

 

 

The latest drama...we have another Tulpa! .... so apparently Lena is torn between wanting to 'play mummy' inside with her own little family and being out here as a 'carefree single adult' (her words) and being able to explore the amazing open worlds of video games with me and Tinks and being my twin/support for outside life at the bodies current age. (she belives she's my mums reincarnated spirit ...my mum died in her 40's over 30 years ago now from cancer so she never got to live to an older age and experience the internet and video games)

 

 

so...she has split off and created a twin of herself so the part of her that wants to pretend to be young again, running through jungles fighting imgainary creatures can do so but also age up (the twin is an age-slider) to help when I have to do real world external appointments when other people see the body of a disabled middle aged woman! ..and expect us to behave that way!

 

She wants to rhyme with Lena's name as they see each other as parts of the same whole and at the minute is absolutely obsessed with the PS5 game Kena: Bridge of Spirits that I'm playing so yep..you got it!  Lena's 'twin' is calling herself Kena!  ...and has modelled her appearance on the game character...which does look similar to Lena but with darker hair so she also almost matches 'a younger version of me'. ...confused yet????   ...join the club!! 

 

So anyway she wants me to put a picture on here of 'her' with our changeling Tinks role playing Kena and her little sprite companion as I play it on the PS5! 😀 

 

She hasn't yet mastered possession of the body but we'll be practising over the bank holiday with exercise based games too (Wii sports, Ring Fit etc) so I'm sure she'll be typing and answering posts before long! 

 

 

 

 

[The Incans]

[Kena]. ...slightly inaccurate!!   ...  so yeah I was in the Internal 'Lena body' and the 'Kena body' was not yet fully sentient but I changed my mind.. 

 

'The family' do use alot of energy resources as they are not all yet fully sentient Tulpa ..so host or I have to be actively visualising scenario's with them.  Whereas with myself and Tinks...host doesn't have to actively visualise us for us to be able to be co-conscious and talk with her and share what she's doing in the outside world.

 

It seems like all the recent work on the Wonderland and internal family have been making the host more exhausted and the ME symptoms are getting really bad again...so for now ..we visualised them going into the holodeck to take the littles to the seaside and then the first night they went to sleep placed them in stasis.....and effectively turned off the Holodeck...  just temporarily ...but we have quite a few external appointments this next month that host needs to have the energy to get through! ..but she doesn't like to be out here 'totally alone' we enjoy sharing co-consciousness and making decisions together. even really simple ones like what to have for dinner or what to watch on TV. 

 

 

 

[Host Mila].   ...The other's won't realise...we could leave them a month or a year and they will still think its the 'first morning of their holiday' when they 'wake up' again and be as happy and excited as they were when they 'went to bed'!  

 

I'm not sure if other people's Tulpa's realise the passing of time if you (host) doesn't engage with them daily or something happens and its several months etc before you start to actively think about your Tulpa again?  ..or whether they can actively come and go as they wish regardless of whether you are thinking of them or not.

[The Incans]

[Kena]  We have accidently found the solution to the past alters fear of integration! ....  with the new game 'Kena: Bridge of Spirits'

 

They'd been watching in the background as Mila played the littles wanted to pretend to be the children Saiya and Beni before we realised how that part of the story actually ended (we didn't relaise they were spirits too when first starting the game)..'Bobo' played Taro their older brother who was a spirit in the game.

 

After playing the game outside with Mila to see how it ended I went back in to the holodeck to play it through with the younger alters playing the parts of the other characters. (they are actually all spirits Kena is the spirit guide in the game)..after their characters found peace in the game the alters did the same and integrated into Mila!  once one started all the past alters/hosts no longer needed followed virtually overnight.

 

Mila now has all their memories and the feeling of a full life!  we did it!! 

 

Only thing is I (Kena) have held onto all memories from perspectives of all alters that mimicked a 'version of mum' alter or Tulpa (ie Kate, Lena, Juno) that seems to be my job.  This is so host can feel they can just 'be themself' and don't have to feel they should be turning into a version of what they think their mum would have been like at the host's age. I have that spirit and she wants a chance to be young again! 

 

Inca is holding fragments of all past non-human changelings or memories of past dogs etc that host wanted to hold dear etc.

 

Also in case host does 'miss' past hosts we have created holodeck programs in the wonderland with virtual versions of them that she can coonnect to (through meditation) and have a chat with them...if she wants to ..I don't think she will as she can feel them inside her....but we thought having the option would prevent feelings of regret or wondering if they should re-split. ..if she gets those feelings she can talk to the others via the program..where I'm sure they will reassure her they are happier..or one of them will tell her the others have moved onto another realm now happy.

 

 

[Mila]. Actually I do feel happier now and lighter ...emotionally...  I only have to be 'one me' but I still have the companionship of the two souls in my life that gave me unconditional love...we consider ourselves a 'soulbond system' now.  The Avatar feels really fitting now!   Me and Kena are each others Yin and Yang and Inca our spirit guardian  - The Tri-Force! 

[The Incans]

[host]. well Kena didn't last long!! ..as soon as we reached a part of the game that we were clearly not going to get beyond due to lack of accessibility for disabled players and our motor difficulties ...Kena no longer wants to be Kena! .

 

I think the magic of video games was being able to do things you can't do in real life but if the game doesn't have enough accessibility and you still can't do it in the game .... it takes away the magic and escapism of it and dumps you back in the harsh reality of haiving a useless body! 

 

The part has reintegrated into Lena too upset to continue.  We have struggled alot more with PS5 games they seem to be aimed at much older and experienced players than Switch games and the games that typically do involve alot of accessibility (their triple A titles) are often not the type we like there tends to be quite a lot of violence, blood and gore in them. I think we're going to sell it to pay for heating bills over winter as gas bills will be going up and having arthritis we can't survive not having heating on at all...all throughout winter.

 

We spend alot of time in bed over winter under an electric blanket playing on switch in handheld mode or just working on the wonderland inside. ..we might just try and find a new 'build a new life' kind of game with character customazations, relationships and pets etc..   We often like to pretend we've been transported to a parallel universe and have to find each other again..we sometimes check the romanceable characters to see if any look like either me or lena ...eg if there's one looks/acts more like me ....our character will be based on Lena and she has to find me ...and sometimes we have to 'pretend to marry' in that game to be able to live together again but in seperate bodies.

 

Sometimes we do Tinks in human form (call her Jess) as the main character and she has to work out which other characters are most like me and Lena to befriend (if there's no in-game pets that she likes better).

 

The pets/animals tend to have quite restrictive roles in those kind of games though...she really loved being Oluso in Far Cry 6 the powerful black panther with blue eyes! ...imagaining herself with me being the main character helping me with my mission ....  ..we did alot of just running through the jungles and over the beaches together just enjoying the freedom our 'virtual bodies' gave us!! 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 31 by The Incans

[The Incans]

[Lena] ...  well after my 'inner child' (aka 'Kena') got frustrated with the game and re-integrated with me for a while  I took the time to explain some things to her ...  let her watch some of daily life to understand our hosts daily difficulty and the role she needed to play for host and encouraged her to re-seperate but carrying a little more of my 'mature side'

 

I suggested she pick a name that is NOT a video game character (from a game host own's anyway) and won't make her feel she can't exist anymore if she can't complete the game!  She is still quite young minded as she is of course me at a younger age (than I was orignally created at) ...given 'an internal body' via one of our changelings blending with that fragment of me to give her a seperate form. ..she also has some teen memory fragments from host to help them bond and work together naturally as co-hosts... she has decided to call herself 'Ellie'  ...so its kind of connected to me... Lena>Elena.>Ellie...

 

Host has bought (well pre-ordered, its not officially out yet) ...  the new Zelda game with the special edition switch lite ...it's 2D, they tend to explain and let you practice new in-game skills without pressure and it's something she can do at night with host while they're watching TV and trying to keep wam in bed through winter. ...with costs of energy and heating rising we're trying to reduce costs..  (a switch lite won't cost as much to recharge to play as the PS5 costs to have on for hours...we also have some small solar power banks as back up)...It's an early xmas present for them to share/bond over as we'll probably be skint by xmas and our only (external) living family member is not a fan of christmas so host doesn't get much...at this point with issues with their new partner we don't even know whether host will be invited for xmas dinner they don't even text to check if host is still alive for months at a time...so we (Tulpa's and her RL dog) are literally all she's got in the world right now!

 

This is partly why I decided to create a younger me as extra company for her.

 

I will stay the age of the body and continue to come out to help with important external appointments (where host needs to behave like a NeuroTypical middle aged woman) and take care of the 'internal family' and wonderland. I'm hoping if we can get this balance right our little family will stay more stable as it looks like we have a difficult winter ahead.