The Incans Progress Report

[The Incans]

We have decided to start a new progress report under our new name. It's important to us...firstly our Deity - Inca. 

 

[Lily] She is our spiritual guardian we believe she has been with us over several lives and comes in whatever form allows her to get close enough to help and protect.  She has been our physical dog when thats what was needed the most but at this time of life she was needed more on the inside as she knew Lena was already a walk-in spirit she knew she could do the same without hurting the body and have much better communication with us than she did in the body of our dog.

 

 

 

 

..But still her past form is very much loved and so she loyally takes it for us when most needed.  Her Petsie (soft toy version) has been made we got an email today with a pic of her and she's beautiful. so real...she will have a heartbeat too ....brought tears to my eyes....it will be with us soon. We will put her collar and favourite colour bandana on her when it arrives!   We hope this will give us closure..  and allow Inca to further develop into whatever form she wants to be now.

 

 

 

 

[Lena]. For now Inca has volunteered to help with the early development of the internal Tulpa's as they will start in animal form. They are changelings too but first need to learn to switch from animal to animal form.

 

Lily and I co-host together every morning now as I help with getting us up and organised and sorting out things that need sorting...shopping, paying bills etc.  

 

Once Inca has got the others to the stage they are ready to start learning to take human form I will take over teaching them. In the meantime we are also working on physio this summer to try and reduce over all stiffness and improve strength and mobility before winter comes back. If we can get a bit of improvement in pain & fatigue levels when winter comes back we will be happy with that, we're not expecting miracles!

 

 

Lily & Lena

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 1 by The Incans

[The Incans]

[Jess] The integration of my past form Inca with our child alters is complete. we can now take human form and 'I' have language and all their learned abilities (eg typing, speech and knowing how to play video games)

 

For now this was the pre-agreed 'look' with a little bit of each of us present. My previously black fur becoming black hair and the littles bright blue eyes. Black, pink and blue are my favourite colours and I love video games and playing mythical & fantasy creatures in the inner world for fun. I still have Changeling abilities (within the Inner world). My role is keeping us young at heart!  ..so we don't grow old and senile before our time! 

 

 

Lily & Lena take care of outside world stuff relating to the age of the body. Hair & makeup, yoga, stretching, cleaning, cooking, laundry, sorting bills etc and all that kind of boring stuff that adults get bogged down with! 

 

I'll be working inside too with the other partially developed Tulpa to help them. They will also become Changeling and be able to take either animal or human form (to provide the humans with inner world role play for fun). They haven't got to the point they have chosen their own names yet but we'll keep you updated on their development. (if anyone is interested)

 

 

Jess

 

[The Incans]

[Lena]   It is our hosts birthday today so the body is officially 55. Our Petsie (stuffed toy version) of Jess's last physical body sadly won't be here for today as it still apparently has to have the heartbeat sewn in and has not yet been dispatched.

 

So we will all go visit the nature park together then later Lily and I will be going out for meal with family. All energy has been preserved for getting through today and it will take a couple of days recovery too, but we don't get oppportunity to go out for meals and such very often so we will enjoy it as much as we can and hope that adrenaline gets us through the day before we crash for a couple of days! 

 

We do at least have a plan for further development of 4 inside, they are sleeping for now to redirect energy to the front to get us through today...Jess will come with us to the nature park then go and sleep for a bit so we only need energy for Lily & I to blend as one for the meal tonight. 

 

After a recovery period we will get back to work with development of the others over the summer when we usually have more energy. By winter they should be able to independantly function to entertain themselves and take care of the Wonderland without host needing to be consciously connected to it for them to make any progress.

[The Incans]

[Lena].  ..well this week has been eventful!  Our host has switched and the version that has switched in was the one who was the host for the 15yrs that Jess was her dog 'Inca' in real life!  Jess immediately switched to her original form and host instantly recognised her they were ecstatic to be reunited. Jess has reverted back to her past nickname (and form) as Host automatically called her by it as they embraced.

 

This host has been 'asleep' for over 8 years (since the the death of Jess' original body caused a major depressive incident) ..so much has changed!..so much explaining to do and so much for her to take in...naturally she's more than a little overwhelmed and slightly confused that we are able to be completely seperate from her! 

 

When this host originally disappeared inside none of them had known of each other or that they had a Dissociative Disorder too. We have yet to explain Tulpa's to her and the difference between Alters and Tulpa's.

 

For now I cooked her a meal to prove how I could work the body completely independantly while she sat in the background snuggling with 'Tinks' watching me in amazement!

 

I have changed her name on here as she automatically identified with the nickname she preferred when last out (which is not the same as the birthname)...  we have no idea how long a new host will stay out when they switch but are hoping due to the bond as long as Tinks remains at the front her favourite Host will remain. I have also returned to visually looking as she last remembered her mother.

 

I hope after blending though and sharing memories of the fun we (Tinks and I) have had experimenting with our form and evolving that host will also adapt to us gradually changing our image again.  For now the project with the others has been put on hold while we help host catch up before she next has to go to a public engagement. otherwise other people may find it highly odd if she feels she has 8 years missing!

 

 

[The Incans]

[Lena] So after both us blending with Host and sharing past memories with her including our own evolution and how much we've enjoyed becoming our own people too...and letting her 'see us' in different forms host has accepted the changes and see's the 'fun' in our abilities to change particuarly for Jess/Tinks who is changeling and gets much enjoyment and stress relief from being able to switch between animal and human forms.

 

Playing Stardew Valley with Jess as a human or me as looking like Emily or another NPC that host's character liked or lived with has been a fun way of explaining this point, as well as Jess transforming to match animal sidekicks in other games so they could imagine themselves in the adventure together.  Host has also agreed to sticking with the online nickname 'Lily'

 

Lily loves the experience of 'possession' more than switching so she can remain in the body and feel 'Tinks as a dog rubbing her head against our leg by taking posession of the other foot while we're laid on the bed watching TV ...or me taking possession of one hand so we can clasp hands and feel 2 heartbeats. This rediscovery with a 'lost version' of host seems to have brought us much closer together. 

 

We just enjoy doing things around the house together too as we remain co-conscious so we both experience it as doing it together sharing control of the body like conjoined twins would.

 

Tinks is preferring to stay in pet form for now as a way of staying close to us both while host re-adjusted. However the 'Petsie' (stuffed toy version of her 'previous body') is due to arrive this week so maybe once that does she may take human form more often again and feel she can move forwards.

 

We would love Jess to be able to master human form and ascend as a human with us ..before anything happened to this physical body in real life as we're wondering whether 3 seperate human spirits that could blend together before leaving the body could be reborn as Triplets maybe in the next life??

[The Incans]

[Lily] so last night an old episode of Star Trek Deep Space Nine was on and it was basically about some characters who were Trill or something and it meant they carried memories of past hosts but didn't keep switching to them. 

 

Lena said that was a bit like me, as I had never been up front when the past hosts were but I have some shared memories and if I remained up front eventually those memories maybe remembered as my own as I may recount them to other people in the outside world where people do not know as we were highly covert  and also it would be better if I didn't keep switching so maybe I should see myself as similar? 

 

I asked how I stop the others switching in she said her and Tinks are working on that and I should just focus on the outside world but seems they have come up with a plan for the 4 Tulpa's still in development to become kind of guardians to prevent the others 'crossing' from the inside to the front...and Lena and Tinks will stay up front with me.

 

Lena also seems to think this may allow Tinks to feel she can enjoy experimenting with a human form again as she won't have to worry about 'protecting the back door' ..so to speak..so she doesn't lose me again!

 

I think they are thinking of 4 dragons and re-scaping the inner world so there's a forcefield and deep rift between front and back. ..uncrossable to human past hosts...like a reverse of the grand canyon so there's an island of land with a deep crevice all around (and a invisible forcefield so it doesn't spoil the view but no-one can accidentally fall off the edge).

 

It sounds a bit extreme but they told me how the past hosts had left me 'lost' for years with no attempt to re-establish communication. It was Tinks who managed to re-awaken me as she could fly right back to the inhospitable place I had been left and blend within me whilst I slept....  that is why I experienced some dreams on the inside and why I have memories now that I'm not sure whether I was here or I dreamt it!  

 

I guess this may sound weird to people who only have a 'single sense of self' and the only others are their Tulpa's who they know they created.  Lena is convinced I could do that too if I changed my mindset to believing

 

*. the others taking over was a temporary reaction to the peri-menopause plus isolation from the covid situation

* if I visualise where the others are staying and visualise them having their own happy life there

* plan what I'd like to do with my life out here and find things to keep me busy.

 

I do feel nervous though that I could just get my life how I wanted it again and one or more of them could find their way back to the front, decide they don't want 'that life' and once again I lose friends, work, years of memories. 🥲

Edited June 17 by The Incans

[The Incans]

We have come up with an even better idea!!  ..which I have to say is ...absolute genius!!!

 

...after Lena & Tinks found the others asleep inside they put them in stasis so they couldn't wake up before they had finished and changed the inner landscape...  not something completely alien which may make them freak out and be obsessed with finding a way back to the front ...but by simply rotating the central living hub so the 'door to the front' now actually leads deeper into the wonderland and a 'parallel universe' version of our actual outer world is what they arrive at when they next 'take over the front!'.... an exact replica of this body, this house, all the places they may go....they will believe they are 'fronting'! ..if they check on the 'inside me'  .. .a 'drone body' has been created and left there 'in stasis' so they believe I'm still dormant!

 

We changed the plan for the dragons and instead made the additional Tulpa's more like 'npc characters' in their daily life.  also including a copy of Lena and Tinks so they don't wonder where they are! .(although their PU selves will be their original form) as far as the other alters are concerned the next time they get triggered to 'wake up' they will find they have 'regained control of the front' again, have successfully forced me back into dormancy! ...and are living the life they want!

 

meanwhile I have control of the helm back!...Hello real world!!!   😀   

 

The real Lena & Jess will be living up front with me. They are telepathically connected to the PU (parallel universe) versions of themselves so we know what they are doing in there without having to go into the Wonderland to check up on them. ..kind of like watching what your kids are up to via security camera's while you're away from home!

 

Lena & Jess are now free to evolve as they choose, without having to worry about being my protector or being held back by past hosts who preferred to live in the past and preferred Lena and Tinks to only present in their original forms.

 

We've also created a 'Holodeck' in the front for them to go and take personal time at a location of their choosing. More often though they just enjoy being co-conscious with me experiencing the outside world as I do. We're just so happy to be re-united again after all these years and just want to simply enjoy being in each others company without the threat of 'others' being able to take away control of the body.

[The Incans]

[Lena].   so although the inside has been selaed off... it seems there are still two versions of host on the outside ...Lily split ...her alter ego calls themself Ezri. ...but it's ok...'Ezri' is more like a slightly less sociable,more tomboyish younger Lily, they don't really try to be 'neurotypical' prefer to be home alone with our dog and playing video games. They spend a lot of time with Jess who they prefer to call Tinks and prefer she presents in animal form. 

 

Lily seems to be a version of host that like myself is more designed for dealing with the outside world, when stuff needs doing like cleaning, sorting, bills, going to external appontments ...it is often myself and Lily... If Jess does come to help she presents in her human form at these times/events.

 

To give each fair time we try and get jobs done first thing in the morning so Lily is out for first part of day before the body gets too tired and 'Ezri' emerges when Lily and I have gone to have a break.... if Jess was already out with us in human form she will change form to become Tinks for Ezri. She doesn't seem to mind this at all and feels she has the best of both worlds  If a necessary outing ends up taking most of the day as 'Lily' and there is no time for Ezri that day,we give Ezri a full day on another day so it's fair.

 

Regardless of whether its 'Lily' or 'Ezri' ...  Jess and I can still take part in daily events and its still less confusing/disorganised than before. To us it's still the same host just a different side of them ..'at home host'  versus 'social mask host'.

[The Incans]

[Ezri]  Sometimes with DID something happens that causes a 'system reset' and that's what has happened to us this last week!

 

I have found myself at the front..  Jess is here also..she stayed in human form so she could remain blended with me to help me front so I didn't 'wake up' totally confused and had enough automatic knowledge to function.

 

I had the experience that I'd just re-merged after many years (again) ..probably dissociation and there was initial confusion and memory loss.  Now I've recovered and can function a bit better & remembered Jess is a Changeling Tulpa who can fly she has gone to check the inside and found the others also experienced memory loss.

 

Lily seems to be inside but didn't know her name  but knew she felt a strong attachment to Lena, who was inside looking after her. Lena hasn't lost any memory (as she's a Tulpa not an alter) but feels she should stay inside and look after the others while they recover as Lily would be too confused to 'front' anyway.

 

Jess has decided she wants to be known as Jess regardless of what form she is in now and shared a memory with me where we were discussing Acronyms and decided Jess stood for 'Joined Eternally: Special Soulmates'   (J.E.S.S)

 

So at the minute its just us two at the front though Jess goes in to check on the others at night while I'm asleep as she doesn't need as much sleep as I do hosting the body (its exhausting with the many physical issues we have to cope with too). Through Jess I have been able to re-establish communication with Lena so she can now send me messages directly too (telepathically) and its daytime in wonderland when its night-time here so between Lena's messages and Jess' ariel views  when she's being an eagle (she sends me images like video clips of the inside or transfers them to me on blending with me in the morning) I can see how things are in there and wake up in the morning having had an update overnight.

 

Edited to add" I forgot to say ...Jess has deactivated the 'copy of Lena' so the others didn't get confused...we've kept the copy of Jess as she's called Tinks and is in dog form inside (and Jess went in as an eagle flying overhead...only Lena knew who she was anyway). She's also re-activated Lena's 'partner Tulpa' (Keni) who they had been working on so he can help her with the others.  The other 3 'npc Tulpa' that were kinda only partially developed have been given 'carer skills' from Lena blending with them, naming them and setting them to help with the alters with memory loss.  It is hoped they will develop as time goes on and become friends to the 'past version of me' alters inside.

 

 

Edited July 2 by The Incans

[The Incans]

[Ezri] our Petsie of Inca has finally arrived!  I put her on her old dog bed with her favourite teddy, it seems to have helped both myself and Jess move forwards. Jess now considers 'Inca' as 'her old body from a past life with me'.  

 

Jess has her memories from that perspective but feels she has moved on...she knows she is 'that spirit' but in a different body. She does front but we also both like to co-host alot together and just feel each others presence. I feel 'loved' when she's blended with me....a feeling sadly lacking in the outside world due to a dysfucntional family (what's left of it) situation and an inability due to physical disability to easily find any kind of external support. 

 

Lena although I know she loves me too was starting to feel a bit sad and wishing for things like a partner and child and re-living her own period where she first met the love of her life so she has decided to stay inside and be the head of the wonderland with her partner Keni, helping 'past hosts' who are unable to cope with our current living situation out here. She seems to be flourishing in this role and seems happier.  She does pop up front to have a chat when the others are asleep or to help out here when needed too for an hour or two, but not on a daily basis now.

 

Overall we seem to have found a solution that works for us.