The Incans Progress Report

[The Incans]

[Lily] It's been difficult in the outside world lately there's been lots of stuff to sort out but other 'ex-hosts' keep finding their way to the front to play host! They are ones that are like 'auto pilots' they don't have their own name or inside life but are triggered out by things (we're still trying to determine so we can avoid triggering them) and automatically identify with the body's legal name and 'become them' for that period of time. 

I tried to front and couldn't take over and they didn't sem to be aware of my existence in the background. I came back and told Inca & Kitty. 

Kitty went up front and was able to take the front back to allow Sam through to take over. They can get so focused playing video games that no-one else can take over...whiich stopped the others (AP's) trying to get to the front for a while. 

However it happened again ... this time me and Inca joined forces by doing a temporary blend to front as one and managed to take over again...we managed to hold the front while Nixy and Sam relocated the AP's (once they had returned to stasis) They are at the same location as the other one..so we've considered them a seperate subsystem as they aren't able to communicate with us and appear to be past auto pilot hosts that are somehow getting triggered to the front.

 

As they don't know of each other or have individual names we don't know what to call them! ..I guess as their job seem's to be solely to mimic (who they believe to be) 'the host' we are calling them 'The Mimics'. unfortuately their data seems to be a little out of date and the host they believe they are mimicking was host about 10 years ago! I guess they could be fragments of that host? but it was an host who did not know they were actually an alter of a DID system. 

 

We're not sure what else to do at this stage so need to do more research anyway have another busy day on the outside today Kitty is coming to help me with the food shopping. 

[The Incans]

Recently got Hogwarts Legacy in switch sale and have to say we really loved it cos of the fantasy and spell casting even though never really got into the Harry Potter movies (think only seen one). 

We now have an holodeck with Hippogriffs flying round! Our changelings loved taking the form of the different types of mythical & fantasy creatures. 

 

In the outside world..we have physical representations (doll/teddies etc) of most of our Tulpa’s except for Angelo.  Angelo is based on our dad so as he loved westerns and used to do line dancing (some past host’s have fond memories of going line dancing with him and we’ve got photo’s of us in the gear) we decided the ideal doll/teddy would be a cowboy.  so hunted round on internet and found a Woody (Toy story) doll our littles really liked so we’ve got them it for xmas. I’ll post a picture of them all once he arrives. 

Our little Bear also is getting a new friend called ‘Ralphie’ (teddy bear). we’re hoping to be able to work on Ralphie in time for xmas after we’ve sorted out some urgent admin and caught up with xmas shopping (for external family) too.  As we’re housebound and live rurally we have to get everything delivered and it gets really chaotic December …things not turning up, delivered to wrong place …delivery windows going from 8am-6pm to 6am-10pm or even midnight…we just don't have the stamina to stay up that long especially as have to be sat in chair (wheelchair) near door to get there fast enough.

 

The other day we had experience where had been waiting all day then got email ‘sorry we missed you’ ..driver didn’t even come to door (we have video doorbell) van just stopped at top of neighbours drive took a picture then drove off!  It gets exhausting when you have chronic fatigue before you’ve even got out of bed! 

[The Incans]

[Mila..previously known as Nixy]. .. our ‘final fusion’ has taken place (of DID parts). 
 

I, who was previously Nixy (Phoenix) have had many other adult fragments integrate within me. Before doing this we choose a new Integrated host name..which is Mila in places where we can’t use the legal name or it would not be safe to do so. 
 

Lily & Sam wished to remain individual and living mostly inside with our Tulpa family… however Lily’s youngest part Luna re-integrated with her she  can now  age-slide from 6-12 years old. Sam can age slide to older age but they still remain in the teens and rarely go over 16.

 

We have created ‘`Ralphie’ inside he has started as a teddy bear but will learn our siblings (human) infant form from Bear for role play with Kitty, Angelo, and Lily inside.

Bear is still currently a panda but after our external dog passes he will take his external body form (of a dog) which will then be his base form. He will still be able to change form to play inside but his base form will change in honour of our current dog’s memory on his passing. 
 

We have done this now as we’ve had a difficult year with him been ill twice and us not knowing if he would make it to his next birthday or this Xmas. ..it’s a way of preparing our littles. I believe we never got over our mother’s death because at the time we had no concept of death and no understanding to where she had gone or why she had to leave us. ..this is why we have created our Tulpa family in memory of them. So we have 5 Tulpa now..2 of who are ‘hybrids’ as they have alter parts integrated with them to give them the ability to front and co-host. (Kitty & Inca). the other 3 will remain ‘insiders’ otherwise it will just get too hectic.  Lily & Sam will help look after those inside. 
 

I will now be the Host and main front with Kitty and Inca coming out to help. 
 

so here is our little Tulpa family or the external representations of them at least! 
 

 

from left to right..Angelo, Kitty, Ralphie, Bear, Inca 

[The Incans]

It’s been hectic we had flu virus in November then rushing round to get stuff in for Xmas  then had to rest to be able to make it through Xmas. I (Mila) haven’t had much time or energy to work on the inside but luckily the others can run things without me having to think about it constantly. 
 

There has been another important development though Inca decided after exploring different heritages and different (human) ages that more than anything else she wanted to be my twin as her permanent adult (human) form. She also decided she wanted to go back to using Jess as her ‘human name’. She likes that it’s an acronym that defines how she feels about us (J.E.S.S - Joined Eternally Special Soulmates). After experiencing living as a human she doesn’t feel she would want to return or soul jump into another dog’s body but doesn’t mind if I decided to get another black dog in future and call her Inca in memory of her old body. She understands it’s a sign of just how much she meant to me even when she couldn’t talk to me internally she is still a changeling so she can when she goes back inside still take any form she wants to if she needs a break from fronting. She doesn’t need as much sleep as I do so she often does this when I’m asleep and is back for when I wake up. 

 

Kitty and Angelo have taken the others on a winter wonderland holiday to Lapland (virtually of course via internal holodeck program) so Lil Ralphie is having his first holiday with his family inside. The advantages of having both alters and a Tulpa’s I guess…(other alters can be working on Tulpa consciousness on the inside) while Jess and I front and rest the body to recover from Xmas and look after our external dog. 
 

Kitty will be back to help out when needed up front after the new year she just really felt she needed to spend some uninterrupted quality time with Angelo and the littles inside. She did help with co-hosting Xmas day but was really hurt and disappointed to find out sibling no longer has any photo’s of her (Kitty is the reincarnated spirit of our mum) or his dad or myself (his sister) around his house. His new gf seems to have taken over and made it more her house it’s cold and clinical/minimalist. She doesn’t get on with her family or have contact with them so seems he’s not allowed to have phot’s/reminders his family/childhood either!  Kitty says she no longer wants to visit their (siblings house) but will still front to help us in our house and with medical appointments etc. 

[The Incans]

Ralphie and Bear had a great time in our winter wonderland!

 

 

 

Jess has decided on her favourite human style after we saw a demo of a new cosy game coming to Switch2 next month. She is presenting now as a young woman with long black hair and blue eyes more than she is taking the form of her past life body (dog).   It’s a ‘build-a-life’ kind of cosy game so she can design her own inner home for the inside and things. At the minute she just has a room at Kitty & Angelo’s farm where they live with the littles (and Ralphie & Bear) but has never really shown an interest in creating her own space within our wonderland. Hopefully the game will provide her with some inspiration and doing it on the game whilst playing with me (in the outside world) means I can take part in it too. 

 

 

Edited January 8 by The Incans

[The Incans]

Jess here....  I'm excited to play my new game I really love the graphics style ....but worried the Switch2 version won't come out before our data runs out this month as host had put extra on specifically to get that game for me!  There's nothing else I like as much to get instead and use the data up :(    

Update: Host says not to worry they'll definitely find the money to get it for me but I don't like to incovenience people as it's not my body or money technically! I am very much 'a walk-in' ..my job is to be an help to the host and their system not an extra demand!   

[The Incans]

Jess again... the game didn't come out on Switch2 on the date they said .. but we started a new game in Hogwarts Legacy so I could have my own save.. just until it comes out.

 

I'm really enjoying it though I've never done role play as a witch before!   I made my character look as much like the pics above as I could and called her Jess Kitsune. I'm in the Hufflepuff house!   😄  ..Mila says it suits me as Hufflepuffs defining quality is Loyalty and Dedication and she says as her Guardian Spirit I have been that for her over many lifetimes!   

Last year we enjoyed a game called 'Kena' though host found the boss fights difficult due to not enough accessibility to compensate for the body's physical difficulties.  Apparently the same people are bringing a sequal out and Kena's companion this time is a Spirit Fox!  ...  so we're quietly hoping it will have better accessibility options so we can get that one too! it does look really good!  We love going on fantasy adventures together! 

 

Some screenshots from demo video of new kena game...  I love her look and but will also havin great fun role playing her spirit fox companion when Mila plays Kena. 

 

Edited February 13 by The Incans

[The Incans]

[Mila] - Jess and I have really been enjoying playing Hogwarts Legacy ...but I really need to get organised this month though as our landlord is supposed to be arranging to replace our kitchen which is kind of run down after 18 years... so need to empty the cupboards so they can be ripped off and replaced. 

The spare room is full of junk though (floor to ceiling..I'm a bit of an hoarder) as I'm so disorganised with my AuDHD brain!   ...so have to sort out that room to make enough room for the stuff from the kitchen to be moved into...the thought of not knowing where to start is just so overwhelming we end up just leaving it and back on Hogwarts again instead! 

 

Kitty will be coming back out to help us with this hopefully and will be seeing her more (she has the most 'NT people skill set')

 

Jess is still very shy when other real people are involved in a face-to-face situation and would rather be safely inside the wonderland with the others...so her and Kitty swap places and Kitty and I do a temporary blend to become 'the legal self' for the duration of the appointment/event. 

I've no idea how long it will go on for and am guessing they'll be here for most of the day when they do start so it's going to be long days for us...  I suggested to Jess she can maybe spend some time helping with Ralphie and Bear's development as changelings on the inside while we get the kitchen sorted in the outside world. 

We can always temporarily shut down the inner world holodecks so they aren't using energy continuing to exist on the inside while the body is struggling to find the energy to deal with the outside world... they won't realise as we'll just wait until a natural bedtime (for them) put them into temporary stasis and when they do wake up they'll just think it's the next day. 

 

If we do that Jess will return to the front but probably stay in the background (of our internal 'fronting area'  - kind like been sat in the back seat of a car enjoying the ride but not actively driving or navigating) while any workmen are here.

[The Incans]

[Nix] our integration has re-split I didn't feel comfortable as the others integrated within me are more 'programmed' by society' about who we should be and how they should behave and I've always been one of the secret ones who didn't have those expectations as I never came out in public. I've also always been more 'tomboyish' than the social mask hosts and the name Mila feels too 'girly' for me so I've gone back to just been Nix/Nixy. .. online..obviously it's not the legal name. 

Though when Kitty and Tinks (Jess)  are co-fronting with me we're thinking of just using KIT as an acronym to mean the 3 of us... as in ..K (for Kitty) ..I (as in 'this me here now') and T for Tinks,,,she often takes animal form and becomes the Gatekeeper working in the background (to stop others fronting) when both Kitty and I are co-fronting to complete a specific task in the outside world. ..it stops us openly switching in front of others. .

Most of the time its still me and Jess co-fronting and she enjoys being human and taking control of body mostly when playing video games..she likes to 'see herself' in games ..I guess it's like looking in a mirror for her as when we look in a real mirror she only see's 'my body' looking back at her.

 

It's easier for Kitty to look in a mirror cos of course she's the walk-in spirit of my mum so she looked similar in the face  except she had shorter hair and wore glasses in her last body. She's actually quite fascinated as she only oriignally lived to 47 and the body will be 57 this year..so she's getting a chance to experience aging  but WITH me (had she still been alive in her last body she would have been in her 80's by now). ..and of course she has Angelo on the inside where they relive their 'courting days'.   Kitty can age-slide too (as I can) so finds its easy to age up to front when I need her to do appointments for me. 

Sam & Angelo have taken Ralphie and Bear camping in the wonderland over Easter. Lily has been out eating chocolate eggs and playing Pokopia with Jess! ....Really need to get some sorting doing for kitchen as meant to be getting new kitchen cupboards and flooring and need to pack everything our of cupboards into boxes so we 3 really need to get to working as 1 to get through it all! 

 

[The Incans]

[Jess].  I am really happy!!!   I officially have the very important role of being the official Gatekeeper!  Nix was the system Gatekeeper for years since childhood as many socal mask alters were created on an almost daily basis when social demands were high and she couldn't have the life she really wanted. 

Now she can and no longer needs to hide in the background anymore they need a new Gatekeeper to fill the role. Kitty works better as a Caretaker there are parts inside from very early on the host's life that still need regular contact with Kitty, they can cope with her coming to front for a couple of hours if Nix needs her to blend with her to attend an appointment and I switch places and spend some time with the littles inside. 

Most of the time most days now its just me and Nix having a nice easy day taking care of external doggy and playing video games. I love the early morning walks to our special places to watch the sun come up too!  ..but don't feel comfortable having to be at the front when there's longer face-to-face appointments are necessary I worry my inexperience at being human will show in front of 'real life others' and make things harder for my host. ..so I'm happy for Kitty to take over those events. 

Nix keeps stuff like that to a minimum anyway as they don't enjoy them either but sometimes it is necessary and unavoidable. We call ourselves The Phoenix and the Kitsune...  Phoenix for host for the many times she had to reinvent herself/split off etc to fit in  and myself the Kitsune..This is one of my favourite images of a Black & White  Kitsune that I take inside when I'm not being human host.  

Nix is trying to find me a video game where we can make our character as a Kitsune. ..the closest we've found so far is being a Khajit in Skyrim or Oblivion though they don't look as good as this pic!  If I didn't love playing video games so much I might stay in this form permanently but big paws and games controllers don't really work well together!  😁