What happened when I proxied and is it normal?

[Rhea]

Hi!

 

I'm looking for a bit of advice on something kinda strange that happened when I was proxying for Seraphina on Tuesday, that hasn't happened, at least nowhere near the same extent, any other time I proxied for her.

 

So to recap, Tuesday was the first time I proxied for Sera for more than just a few sentences here and there and commited to let her interact with people here uninterrupted for what I think was a few hours.

She got very, very invested and excited and had quite a lot she wanted to say, and that time was the clearest her thoughts and voice had ever been to me. But something else started happening after about 15-20 minutes of proxying for her. It felt like my thoughts kinda.. quieted down? Like her presence began to occupy more and more of our brain's thinking/processing and "space", so to speak, and her emotions and thoughts became way more present than mine.

It wasn't a bad feeling in the slightest, I had a ton of fun sitting back and observing and I'm pretty sure I was the one typing out her thoughts physically, but... it felt like any thoughts I had were like... more distant?

 

I don't know if I'm expressing myself well, but I guess my question is, is that a normal effect of proxying for a tulpa for a while? Or did we like... accidentally co-front or something for a short while? I don't want to assume anything, but it's the strangest thing I've ever been a part of in my entire life and I can't stop thinking about it. I asked Sera what she thought and she doesn't seem to have any more answers than I do, other than she had the time of her life^^

 

And as I said it hasn't happened since, even though I've proxied for her a few times since. Idk what to think of it, but if it was any sort of proto-switching/possession or anything of the sort, then I'd love to know because then we'd have an easier time figuring out how it happened and how we might be able to reproduce it when we're ready to give it an intentional try.

 

Anyway sorry for the long ranting question, this is all a bit confusing to me^^;

I'd love any insight or advice anyone here with that kind of experience could give^^

[Lucilyn]

that sounds like co-fronting territory, though such things are really really subjective, unique to each system and generally hard to explain in any detail (unless you and the person happen to work in the same ways)

 

it happens most often to people who do full-body possession very often, where they can fall into a not-quite-switching state where the host's activity is reduced but they're still ~there~

 

whether that's desirable for you or not is up to you guys, some people co-front (or even blend) on purpose, while my system avoids anything wishy-washy, preferring our experiences stay clear-cut

Edited May 23, 2025 by Lucilyn

[Nightfall]

I don't think that's happened to us but I get the feeling. When I proxy for my tulpas, I feel as if they are thinking for me. Half the time I can't tell if they are typing or I am. Sometimes, I even have a big smile like Shaula does which is surprising for me because I don't smile that much. 

 

It's especially noticable when there is a lot of activity on LOTPW and Shaula can barely keep up. At that point it's actually pretty close to what you explained. 

 

I don't really know a lot about tulpas but I figured our experiences might help a little bit. 

[Seagull]

That sounds like a switch to me! Lucilyn sees a different interpretation though so I may have read it wrong.

If your thoughts really did quite down while Sera took up the brain's thinking space, then you were switched while you were in that state.

 

I remember when I was proxying a lot while writing dialogue feel them take up the brain's thinking space, especially within two at once, my thinking would be nonexistent and I would just vibe while listening to them while yorning due to proximity 2-3 for too long.

[Rhea]

Thank you all so much for your input^-^

 

 

 

3 hours ago, Lucilyn said:

that sounds like co-fronting territory, though such things are really really subjective, unique to each system and generally hard to explain in any detail (unless you and the person happen to work in the same ways)

 

it happens most often to people who do full-body possession very often, where they can fall into a not-quite-switching state where the host's activity is reduced but they're still ~there~

I wonder if that might have been kinds what happened... because I definitely still had control over our body, but as far as typing went... the line between her thoughts and the actual typing got so thin I'm not 100% sure who actually did it.

I guess I'm not sure if I like the idea of blending or not, I definitely like the idea of her being as independent as possible, and being her own person. She says she doesn't mind. I guess we'll figure it out with time and find what's best for us^^;

 

2 hours ago, Nightfall said:

When I proxy for my tulpas, I feel as if they are thinking for me. Half the time I can't tell if they are typing or I am. Sometimes, I even have a big smile like Shaula does which is surprising for me because I don't smile that much. 

That is almost exactly how that was! Except with the addition that I stopped... thinking all thay much except when something specific caught my attention which is really weird for me and my adhd mind.

But anytime she would find something funny a smile would just kinda pop on our face...

 

1 hour ago, Seagull said:

That sounds like a switch to me! Lucilyn sees a different interpretation though so I may have read it wrong.

If your thoughts really did quite down while Sera took up the brain's thinking space, then you were switched while you were in that state.

I don't think we were switched, I was definitely still the one in control, I think... but it was so weird, in the best kind of way^^ but... even if it wasn't an actual switch, based on what you and the others are saying... maybe we've found some path we can take when we want to try full on switching... I guess we'll see^-^ it's super interesting