First (New) Tulpa

[CurlyPie]

Hello everyone, I'm new here. I've been seeing much about tulpas in a variety of places, and I want to say that I've done this before, as a child and teenager. I guess I wouldn't have called them tulpas then, but I did create these different sort of characters. At least one of them became one which seemed to exist outside of me, though it always seemed they were on the opposite side of a wall. I guess I was afraid to really visualize them as being there, so I never took that last step and made them "real".. but many, many tulpa have existed in my wonderland, so to speak. They've had their own personalities, and said things which seemed completely foreign to me. Essentially, I have done this all before, and I stopped in my mid teens, because I feared that I was "going crazy". I felt bad about ignoring the things I had created, but the nagging doubts just made me ignore my most significant tulpa until it went away (the one who would be behind the walls in the next room). It was after I stopped interacting with my tulpas that I began suffering from severe depression, although I didn't realize that until recently. I'm not saying that there is a any definite correlation, but I do think it's possible that having a tulpa was something which helped me cope with stress. Since life continues apace, and there is always more stress to go around, I see little reason not to bring them back into my life, if I'm able to get feedback and support from a community. I have absolutely no concerns about my tulpas being bad, freaking out, or anything like that. I'm quite confident in my ability to create them, since I did it so many times before. I do, however, sometimes need reassurance that I'm not simply going mad. A reminder that I've done all of this on purpose, to actually keep me from being crazy, not the other way around. Anyway, I got off on a tangent, didn't I?

 

As far as what I want to create now...

 

I'm having a hard time really settling on a first tulpa, but I think I will be creating a serpent-like creature, except with fur. I saw someone on the forum with sort of a luck dragon. My vague image is not completely dissimilar to that, though my idea originates from a drawing I did several years ago. I guess when you get down to it, fluffy dragons aren't that unique among fantasy lovers, so there's that.

 

I think imagining a human companion for the first time might be a little too difficult, since I might get really nitpicky over the physical details, and frustration with making the visualization "perfect" might do more harm than good. I also think I would feel a little self conscious around a human tulpa at this juncture, though I do have an idea for one that I might create later.

 

As for the fluffy serpent, I'm going to make compassion its primary concern. I am going to go visualize for an hour now, and knock out the details in my mind. I am pretty sure that it wants to be natural tones; black, brown, white, grey, but I am not entirely sure of the pattern.

 

I'll return in one hour!

[Hush]

I feel its my duty to point out that tulpae rarely die, you ignore them until they basically go comatose, most of the time they can be brought back with more attention, and above all, belief.

[Ginyu]

Belief in your tulpa is the most important thing when it comes to creating one. Honestly, it's also the hardest to deal with, in my opinion. For my first two weeks, I struggled with the concept of if my tulpa, Iris, was "real" or not. I enjoy her company and the conversations we have, but it was hard for me to accept that she existed, as weird as that sounds. But, since a few weeks ago, I've grown my trust in her, and it's paying off a ton.

 

Anyways, welcome to the forums, CurlyPie.

I wish you and your tulpa the best of luck for the future!

[CurlyPie]

I feel its my duty to point out that tulpae rarely die, you ignore them until they basically go comatose, most of the time they can be brought back with more attention, and above all, belief.

 

!

Thanks for your comment. I accidentally fell asleep yesterday while visualizing, and didn't get anywhere with that, but I sat a while after first reading this reply and got back in touch with the previous tulpa. You're right, it's still there, and not only that, but fascinatingly easy to talk to again. I must have been very frightened to have trained myself never to even THINK of once talking to him again, because I suspect if I had even once tried, he'd have come back long before now. This was very easy. So thanks for that post. He's actually busily expressing concern over his physical appearance, so I guess I have to go deal with all of this now. Not that it's unpleasant!

[Hush]

I feel quite pleased that I was able to help you and your tulpa out :)