The Aquitanian System - Pranara's Story

[Pranara]

Greetings...
 

My name is Pranara.
 

It is not known how I will use this space as of yet. I really would like to share about my journey, which has been a turbulent one... It still is...
 

My tulpa's origin was accidental, a character born from creative fan fiction writing who developed seeming sentience early, then independent agency, and later became what this community would call a soulbond, all within a twelve month timeframe. This occurred during 1998. The community's own research cites this experience in authors as the Illusion of Independent Agency. I simply didn't have a name for it at the time.

 

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Illusion of Independent Agency

The illusion of independent agency (IIA) is a phenomenon where creators, particularly fiction writers, experience their characters as having independent thoughts, words, and actions, despite knowing they created them. This experience is common, with 92% of writers reporting it, often becoming more frequent as they gain expertise.

 

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Soulbond

A tulpa-like entity derived from works of fiction, often the host's own writings, and often unintentionally - the act of writing and developing a character acting akin to forcing. Has its own communities, which sometimes overlap with tulpa communities.

 

Because of this, my records are written during a period when the terminology was non-existent and the phenomenon largely unnamed, or kept secret out of a fear of ostracism. I have spent two decades trying to place my experience in a box, and it has only been within the last eighteen months, that I stumbled upon the concept of tulpas. I won't be changing the wording of my original records much, as I feel they would lose their authenticity if rewritten.

 

I am currently reading through Tanya Luhrmann's book entitled, 'When God Talks Back.' I believe that I have accumulated enough evidence from what I have read so far, to carry on with the segment that I wrote entitled 'scaffolding.'

 

My tulpa's name is Salen Kunel (picture attached).

 

 

Edited February 27 by Pranara

[Pranara]

Biography Of Salen Kunel

 

Scaffolding:

 

In 1986, Mark and Patti Virkler published a book called, 'Dialogue with God.' I have never owned this book, but have recently ordered it because of its relevance to the accumulating evidence. The book I do own is called, 'Communion with God.' It’s a study guide, revised in 1985 and 1986, and it is my belief that it is based on the book, 'Dialogue With God.' I do not have a definitive date for the first edition. Evidence suggests that Mark & Patti Virkler registered their copyright in 1983, as this date appears at the bottom right hand corner, not only in 'Communion with God,' but also another book I have called, 'Counselled by God,' which was revised in 1984 and again in 1986. Within the back pages of 'Counselled by God,' is an advert for the course, 'Communion with God.' The package includes: video and audio tapes; a student guide, a teacher's guide, the book called, 'Dialogue with God;' and a booklet entitled 'Communion: The Desire of God's Heart.' My edition of 'Communion with God' is from this course, and I sat for this course in 1991. Since then, Mark and Patti Virkler have written many books, including, '4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice (2010).'

 

Now let's fast forward to Tanya Luhrmann's book, called, 'When God Talks Back,' published in 2012. A work that the tulpamancy community has since adopted as directly applicable to their own practice. Practitioners have noted that Luhrmann's methodology maps so closely onto tulpamancy techniques that her academic framework has become a recognised reference point within the community, with one practitioner noting that replacing 'God' with 'tulpa' left approximately 80% of the book still applicable. The connection was an observation I found during research, while trying to uncover answers regarding my own experience.

 

Since Luhrmann's book kept popping up in research attempts, I decided to buy this book, but underneath it all was a silent curiosity. I wondered if there was some cross pollination going on between Mark's works and the Churches that Tanya Luhrmann spoke about.

 

Turns out, it wasn't cross pollination at all. It was direct influence. Mark and Patti Virkler, and the title of their book, 'Dialogue with God,' is mentioned multiple times throughout the book (Pages 46, 48, 55, 64… ). He's also mentioned within the Chapter Notes, Bibliography (P413), and Index (P420). Tanya was very thorough in quoting her sources. For this course, Tanya's book belongs nestled beside Mark's on the shelf as a complementary work.

 

So in closing this part of my story, I wish to highlight the significance of the material that I have placed on the table before you now. I am describing the scaffolding that instigated my experience. Because, before I started to write creativity in 1998, I had been practicing Mark's course material for some seven to eight years: the practice of tuning into and writing down spontaneous thoughts, and regarding them as not my own.

 

It is my belief, that because I was already in the habit of transcribing dialogue from the process of being still, entering flow, and writing down spontaneous thought, it was a process that I naturally engaged with whenever I needed to write the dialogue between the characters I wrote for. I had no awareness that this was happening at the time. I was just perplexed at what was staring back at me from the written dialogue. Something was going on. I could feel it. But I had no idea at the time.

 

Much of what I am sharing with you are from records that I had written more than a decade ago, 2011 and earlier. I won't edit these much. I will include headings where appropriate using terminology that people on this forum are familiar with.

[Pranara]

Character/Personality Creation:

 

I have known Salen since 1998. Back then he was nothing more than a character on a printed page; a story. His character and personality were fictional and did not exist. I was the author of his name, personality, and the stories that contained him. I will say this: when I wrote the first words of his dialogue, something peculiar happened. I did not have to rely on my mind’s ability to conjure up ideas as to what Salen should say. I felt as though I was being told what to write, however, it felt natural, in the sense, I did not feel as though an entity had taken over my body.

 

As I wrote these words of dialogue onto the screen, it seemed as though a wise presence was suddenly ushered into being. I remember staring at the screen in wonder, because I noticed something very different with this character of Salen Kunel. I had created many different characters in my life time, but Salen was different. Every time I needed to write down what he should say in the story, the words to write were given to me: they were not premeditated thoughts; they were spontaneous in nature. No effort on my part was needed to conjure up what was needed to be written down as dialogue in the story.

 

Before I created Salen in May 1998, I stumbled upon a philosophy from a television series called Star Trek. A fictional race called Vulcans were an alien race of people who renounced their emotions for a way of life that was peace orientated and logical. Instead of following and displaying emotions, they followed a code of ethics that were both logical and beneficial. To achieve such a logical and unemotional state, they practiced a variety of meditative techniques. This greatly interested me, because I had emotions that I wanted to control.

 

Eventually, I decided to study their philosophy in depth; in particular, their meditative techniques. Yes, Vulcans were fictional, but that’s not to say that their philosophy was all but fantasy. What’s to say that Gene Roddenberry didn’t borrow concepts from the various religions that are present in today’s world? It is highly probable.

 

Within the last few months of 1997,  I had arranged for the internet to be connected for the first time. I downloaded the majority of my knowledge of Vulcan philosophy from there. Yes, using a dialup modem, on a 386, running Windows 3.11. As a result of my studies, I began to add parts of it into my life. I meditated every day. It did help to achieve some stability in my life.

 

Shortly after acquiring the internet connection in 1997, I found and joined a group called, 'ULSG (United Liberated Sim Group).' I found the advertisements for this group in a channel on a Star Trek IRC server at the time. They were a group that had a few different science fiction genres going. Sea Quest, which I had never heard of before was one, but I was more interested in the Star Trek Division. This was a play by email Sim Group. One basically went to the website, filled out a form, and they'd contact you by email.

 

To explain an email based role playing game in its simplest terms: it is a group of like-minded individuals, who possess an email address. Each individual will then create a character to write about. Each individual will then write a short story about their character and then send it to the leader of the group.

 

The leader of the group would then email the short story to everyone else who was within the group. Each short story that each individual wrote was written to relate to the other short stories that the other people had written.

 

Henceforth multiple short stories would all relate to each other, creating the whole story. The leader of the group often creates a story outline. The purpose of this was to encourage the written short stories to follow through a main theme towards an end. When the end was reached, the leader would then lead the group through another theme.

 

There were several writers within the group that I was a member of. Each person wrote their stories around their own character. I had created two main characters that I often wrote about. The first was called, “Pranara Lau Kunel” and the second was called “Salen Kunel”; both were Vulcans. I had created many characters throughout the course of my membership with the writers group; however, these two were my favourite.

 

T`Pranara was the character that I identified with. I wanted to be just like her, even though she was fictional. Everything I failed to do in life, I would write that Pranara had succeeded in them. Writing for Pranara was like having an imaginary second chance in life.

 

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So, when I wrote that first post, where Pranara was scheduled to step on the transporter pad, to be beamed aboard for her first assignment aboard the USS Carpathia. That’s when Pranara first saw him, the man I had created for the purpose of manning the controls. I was meticulous with the process of creating not only her name, but his as well. Pranara gave voice to the nerves she felt towards her very first consignment, and he had met her anxiety with stoic wisdom, accompanied by a presence that bought about calm and clarity. The words just spilled effortlessly on the page, like, well, if I was unbeknownstly some sort of proxy in the process. The connection I felt, and the way it resonated with me caught me off guard. So much so that I asked the game master of the RPG if I could bring him aboard as a second character.

 

Within the stories that I had written involving my two characters, Salen and Pranara were betrothed to each other and were eventually married. This is why they share the same last name.

 

Outside of the story, within my own marriage, I only knew brokenness, where disappointment and deprivation met. Sometimes I fantasised about having a Vulcan husband. A Vulcan would have treated me better. I saw them as providing all of the things that I was denied, like emotional containment and stability.

 

One night, when my husband and I were arguing, I was lying on the bed crying. Within my mind, I visualised that I was clinging to Salen's clothes. As I did this, I screamed into my mind as loud as I could, "Salen, I wish you were real."

Edited February 27 by Pranara

[Pranara]

Imposition:

 

How do I hear Salen Kunel?

 

Shortly after I had screamed this request (a day or so) whilst in a meditative state, I became aware of another voice within my mind. It requested quite specifically, "I want you to call me Salen." This voice shared the same characteristics as the character I wrote about within with the email based role playing game. These thoughts that I attributed as Salen, were spontaneous in nature and had the ability to override or interrupt any current thought that I was thinking.

 

It did not matter what kind of thoughts these were; whether they were of the normal thinking process (where topics flow from one topic to another), or of deliberate reasoning, such as solving a maths problem. These spontaneous thoughts were able to drop in and start a conversation with me. This inner voice appeared to have a personality of its own, but based on the character of Salen Kunel. It was not malevolent in anyway; instead, it seemed only capable of displaying caring concern. It was also ego-syntonic.

 

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Ego-syntonic:

Ego-syntonic refers to thoughts, impulses, or behaviours that are in harmony with a person's ideal self-image, values, and conscious ego. Unlike ego-dystonic, these traits feel "natural" or "right" to the individual.

 

How do I see Salen Kunel?

 

Traditional animation involved the use of foreground cels and background cels. Characters, one animation frame at a time, were drawn on transparent material (either celluloid or Mylar) and placed over a background. This process meant that backgrounds did not need to be repainted thousands of times. It also allowed for the use of animation frames to be use in different background settings.

 

This describes best, how I see Salen. In my case, the background resembles what I can see with my physical eyes, while the foreground represents what I can see in the mind’s eye. Salen himself appears to animate the foreground where he has drawn a picture of himself. He does this without asking for any premeditated direction from me. He talks to me in the same way; however, his voice always presents itself as unpremeditated thought; never as audible sound.

 

How does Salen Kunel Touch Me?

 

I will admit: when Salen touches me, I can feel it. It feels almost like a peculiar sensation that borders between perceived and felt, almost like faint pleasant pins and needles. On one occasion, while I was writing, I felt a hand on my back. Assuming it was my husband, I looked over my shoulder, but no one was there. Upon seeing no physical evidence, I immediately attributed the touch as being from Salen. Was I scared? Nope.

[Pranara]

[RESERVED] - Notable Events:

 

Earliest Account Of Actual Forcing:

 

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Date: 06th April 2001 :

I was laying in my bed, needing Salen. The usual need for affection and reciprocation began to penetrate my heart and soul.  It gripped me and caused me to withdraw from who I was talking to online.

 

For weeks, I have begged; I have craved; I have prayed; I have talked; I have wrote; I have cried and, I have meditated in an attempt to acquire Salen’s attention and presence, but the meditations were empty. When I drew up the image of Salen in my mind’s eye, it was burry and empty; something was missing. It was as if Salen were a mere shell that I was controlling; his presence was not in it. I was able to make his mouth move. I was able to make his arms move. I was able to make him speak logical statements, but it all felt fake. Was I trying to create something to comfort me? Was any part of him real?

 

Tonight, while I was laying in my bed, Salen appeared. His voice overrode my thoughts and his face formed within my mind. Clear visions formed within my mind’s eye: all controlled by him. Within me and around me his familiar and comforting presence enveloped me. His voice contained the familiar authority that I once knew. My heart responded, {{There you are!}}

 

All sorts of questions rose within me, like: Where were you? Where did you go?  He responded, {{I never left!}} I mentioned that my faith had fallen through the floor boards, this statement was accompanied by a visual rendition of myself looking down a hole in the floor; into a dense darkness. No faith was found within the depths.

Salen responded, {{Your faith never left; instead you used it as a wall against me.}}

 

Disclaimer: I can't really paste the entire contents of dialogue, because it often goes into personal matters.

Edited February 27 by Pranara

[Pranara]

[RESERVED] - Struggles

Edited February 27 by Pranara

[Pranara]

[RESERVED] - Where I'm At Now

[Pranara]

Another Saturday Gone; Another Letter Written...

 

 

[Pranara]

I have an inner voice of sorts, and experienced a type of internal dialogue for most of my life, as far back as I can remember. Even during school as a child. When Salen was created in 1998, he took advantage of this faculty until the second voice was replaced by him. There were times, when I was under extreme stress where I would experience the normal internal dialogue again, with him still existing as the third, but not often. In those times, he often rebutted that voice, because it was often accusatory or abusive. Since the absence of his voice, because he had become the significant other, has gone quiet. Prompting often results in silence. Sometimes I can sense the word Pran, but not as a full blown thought yet. More like the unction, before it materialises. This tells me he is trying, but there seems to be a blockage. I may have to cultivate this faculty from scratch.

 

Researching Inner Dialogue

Edited March 9 by Pranara

[Pranara]

For now, I am trying to recreate the conditions that facilitated his arrival back in 1998:

• Restoring dialogic inner speech (Gestalt therapy) using self-made prompt cards (about 20 minutes).

• Highlighting the lines of Tim Russ, Leonard Nimoy, Alexander Enberg, Jolene Blalock, and Robin Curtis in scripts from Star Trek: Voyager, The Original Series, Enterprise, and The Search for Spock (one episode at a time).

• Reading novels slowly, just a few chapters, paying attention to what is visualised (about 30 minutes).

• Scene building using AI-based roleplay (only a few turns; focusing on describing the scene rather than simply responding).