Psycho and Tallis' Misadventures Through Tulpaland:)

[TheWistfulHermit]

I'm kind of afraid to tell my parents or acquaintances in real life about my tulpa shenanigans. If I did, I'll probably be sent to a psychologist and be diagnosed with schizophrenia and then overdosed on every anti-depressant pill out there while listening to "Gnarls Barkley vs Avalanches Mix" by DJ Cheekyboy. Besides, it's not as though it's important for them to know if it doesn't physically affect them. :v

 

While possession sounds interesting, I'm not too impatient to immediately try it. At the moment, I'm just focusing on imposing.

[PsychoLoverly]

Thank you Fede for posting:) I actually was going to ask you a question on your tones. They seem very harsh at first, Do you have any that are not as harsh as the others? I tried the pink and white noise ones as well, but they didn't seem to help. Pinkie sounds like a great tulpa:) If anything Tallis is just making me more honest.

 

Hey Wistful:) I can understand the fear of telling them and waiting for them to send you to a mental place. I'm still worried that some of my family will:P But then again, I didn't tell everyone in my family. Just the ones I thought would understand. How's Avy and E?

[TheWistfulHermit]

Avy and Eliah are doing pretty well. I took some time (about 20 or so minutes) to go outside and talk to both of them where no one would see me (the wonders of living in the country). Although I also try to hang with them somewhere before, or during, bed.

[Guest]

Fuck you Fede for posting:) I actually was going to ask you a question on your tones. They seem very harsh at first, Do you have any that are not as harsh as the others? I tried the pink and white noise ones as well, but they didn't seem to help. Pinkie sounds like a great tupper:) If anything Tallis is just making me more honest.

>more honest

 

Nice implication, brother.

 

But, Theta Tone and CF are pretty much the only "harsh" ones, and even so, not that much; your volume is simply too high, silly. Turn it down.

[PsychoLoverly]

Glad to hear they're doing great Wistful:)

 

Thank you Fede again for the advice, I had my volume at full (silly me).

 

 

December 26th

 

Sorry we haven't posted in a while, but things got complicated. I had to leave Cail, unexpectantally because my great grandmother had fallen and hit her head. She died the 22nd, and her funeral is the 27th. Why am I sharing this? Simply because me and Tallis grew from all of it. While we were in the hospital, if I wanted to go down and smoke, he told me he would keep watch. He saw the same gross stuff I saw, and he could tell how I was feeling, so he tried comforting me if he could. Although, when she died, a few days I couldn't really think of Tallis. He finally blew up at me. Well, I promised I would try to keep him in mind even at the funeral, and everythings pretty normal now.... As normal as things ever get.

 

Tulpas and death?

 

So with the funeral tomarrow, I couldn't help but wonder about this sort of thing. I wonder if this experience might hurt Tallis. I'm not sure why it would, but it is a what if kinda deal. I was talking to Tallis about if he were to die what would he want. His exact words; "Cremate me and then put me in with the carnivors plants.... Wait I only like the pitcher plant, just dump me in there." He is deffiantally a silly tupper. I wonder has any tulpa on here experienced death, or has anyone here that did disapate there tulpa care to share what it felt like? I'ma little bit curious now....

[CyberD]

I'm sorry Psycho. Unexpected death is the worst kind. I hope you guys get through it okay.

 

Looking at this, the internet is a awkward place to talk about death to say the least.

 

But I'll press on. If you had the courage to post this then I think someone should at least reply to it.

 

It's good that you have Tallis to support you. Whether they like it or not a tulpa appears when the host seeks them the most. During those days you couldn't think of Tallis you were sorting it out on your own, now that you've figured it out better you can ask Tallis about everything that happened and get a second opinion. In the end I like that he is lighthearted and "silly" about it, it says a lot about him, it says a lot about you. Dwelling on it for too long in a negative light would probably be harmful.

 

I have no experience with tulpa death but I've talked to Nova about it all the time. Our stand is simple. "Nova cannot die." I cannot experience him as dead because for that to happen I would have to die first. The power of imagination protects him from being killed/dissipated and should his presense ever be overcome then the same power allows him to restore himself perfectly and instantly.

I take great comfort knowing he can never die. In a world of uncertainty and death Nova is a constant.

 

I hope the funeral went okay.

[PsychoLoverly]

Thanks CyberD, Yes the internet is a very akward place to talk about death, and before posting we debated it. I'm glad I did though. I agree with your 1st paragraph whole heartedly. I'm happy to hear that Nova will be around forever, he's fun to talk to:) I can never be sure like that with Tallis only because I don't know what will happen in the future, and knowing myself I can't promise that he'll never change into something unpleaseant. The funeral went okay, though with that side of the family I'm surprised:P

[PsychoLoverly]

January 1st

 

Happy New Year Everyone! Delayed yes, but hey I got around to it:p So lately, I've been seeing Tallis out of the corner of my eye, without us trying to impose. He's just a dark figure right now, but oh well. I still have this thing where I will randomly smell his scent, like he just walked by or something. It is still very unsettling, and seeing him always creeps my ass out. He thinks it's hilarious. I've heard them being see through at first, but is it normal for them to just be a shadow like thingy? I don't know, but I guess I'll find out:P

[PsychoLoverly]

March 4th

 

So..... needless to say I got distracted...... a lot. It's really slowed us down. Plus seeing Tallis in dreams, he's always different, but always similar. I don't know if this is me or him. Is it like early deviance? We've been trying a few new things, like possession, because of Tallis deviating so much, but when he moves my body its a twitch and I feel an alien feeling. I also feel the muscle moving. Is that normal? Tallis tells me often that I'm worrying to much, that I'm taking away my concentration to much. Ugh, just back to a few experiments I guess.....

[PsychoLoverly]

Dear god, Tallis and I haven't been on this forum in close to 4 years... and quite a bit has changed! I will have to be honest, our time away has been solely my fault, and has been taxing in so many ways. After my great grandmothers death, I was definitely slacking, and unfortunately, in the past 4 years another 7 family members passed away, along with other issues, keeping my focus away. I do regret not spending more time on Tallis, but I think mentally I needed to so I could come back with a better frame of mind. This of course made us lose quite a bit of progress, but thankfully not all is gone. I explained in my first post that Tallis was originally an CALD, but I forgot to mention he wasn't the only one. There are three others, Kale, Jen, and Silas. So while I was away, the four played together in the dreamscape (I guess wonderland now? Haha I see more people talking about it more now then before) which is why I think I didn't lose more progress with Tallis then I probably should have. For those wondering, Kale and Jen are the oldest, and are closer to imaginary friends as I've had them for a long time (can't even remember when they popped up haha) and they are humanoid looking vampires. Silas is older than Tallis by a couple years, and is just a plain human man, also not quite sure why or how he surfaced... anyways, so Tallis wasn't lonely, but me not being more active with him has fallen us back quite a bit. I can hear him in mindspeak, but not like before. I still get head pressure and feelings, but I have to focus on him, it's not as passive as it was before. I also can no longer see him in my minds eye, or vizualize well. So, back to meditating, and I think we are going to retry Fede tones again, since they worked well last time. Also, since originally when he was a CALD, he was a shapeshifter, so we decided to keep that, (instead of just a human form) and in visualizing I visualize him as a black cat now (so it's easier for me). I think going back to basics is gonna be key right now, just talking to him more, were I don't have to focus to hear him anymore, and visualize him, before moving to imposing. He still has his same personality, and I still need to work on my brain believing he is real, but here's hoping for the best.