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Grimnir's Tulpa Thingy...


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...or: How I Learned How to Stop Fapping and Love the Force

 

INTRO THING:

So besides my thread so far only consisting of a clever botched reference, as of writing this post, I am about 5 days into the process of making a tulpa. I was once one who browsed /mlp/ and saw the tulpa threads and laughed. I changed after I clicked on a tulpa thread. Curiosity got the better of me. I also thought that the idea was cool, who wouldn't want a sentient companion? I read all of the guides, bucked up, and decided to see if there was something to this tulpa thing.

 

DAYS 1-4:

I spent the first day brainstorming. From the beginning I wanted a pony tulpa. I read that it wasn't the best idea to establish a tulpa on an existing character. So I decided to make a Twilight Sparkle tulpa. Well, not really. I have always wanted a tiny companion, something fun sized. So I decided that her form would be that of my Twilight Sparkle figure. I thought that basing her form on something physical would make visualizing easier. (To be honest, I don't know if this was a good idea or not). I decided to make her personality different in several ways than the Twilight Sparkle in the show. The first thing I established was that I would solely address her as "Twilight". I decided to think of a few core traits that I wanted Twilight to have: intelligence, femininity, extroversion, and empathy. I thought that the best course was to think of sub-traits and expand upon them as I thought of them. It seemed like a natural thing to do.

 

In days 2-4, I started expanding on the personality. My girlfriend likes to shop a lot, so I decided I could work on the personality while mindlessly walking around the mall/wal-mart/target. I also worked on personality when I was driving around. The shower also proved to be a good place to work on personality. I decide that Twilight would be bookish, curious, intellectual, would love music, and be analytical. I also decided that her extroversion would relate to the fact that she was small and would have to take effort to be noticed. I spent about an hour everyday forcing personality. I also spent about 30 minutes visualizing, each day. I'd start by looking at the Twilight Sparkle figure, taking note of specific features. I then closed my eyes and tried to recreate that figure. By day 4, I could easily see her face from multiple angles. I would have spent more time visualizing, but I kept getting headaches and pain in my temples after about 30 minutes. I also spent time listening to interviews with Tara Strong, just to get her voice in my head. I also thought a few long strings of nonsensical gibberish in her voice, just to further cement the voice in my head.

 

I will make posts daily, or as anything significant happens. Comments and suggestions are definitely welcome.

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DAY 5:

I had a tulpa related epiphany today, having friends is the antithesis of building a tulpa. However, I did find some time to sit down and force. I worked on visualization for 40 minutes. While there weren't any breakthroughs, I didn't get a headache and I felt like I ended the session as if I were waking up from a good night's sleep.

 

However, something really odd happened today. I was trying to work on personality in Wal-Mart and I felt like I took a step back from reality. It was like looking at a clock in action, but I had no clue what was happening. I just knew the end result and that everything had something to do with the outcome. Probably not Tulpa related, but it was strange and it happened.

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Guest

DAY 40:

It's been a month. Back at square one. The crash still haunts me. They're still everywhere. Radio broadcast said today that they're sealing off the mainland. 40 days until the last boats and aircraft leave. Got to make it to Union City.

 


 

On an on-topic note, care to elaborate on the Wal-Mart event? Also, listen to my tones.

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DAY 40:

It's been a month. Back at square one. The crash still haunts me. They're still everywhere. Radio broadcast said today that they're sealing off the mainland. 40 days until the last boats and aircraft leave. Got to make it to Union City.

 


 

On an on-topic note, care to elaborate on the Wal-Mart event? Also, listen to my tones.

 

I lol'd.

 

Sure, I was with my girlfriend, she told me to wait on the bench they have at the pharmacy section. I knew it would take a while, so I thought I'd force. I started by picturing Twilight, then I started going through the traits. I usually start with each of the main traits, i.e. You are x, therefore you like to y. Then I elaborate on the "y". I was just getting into it, when it felt like my focus shifted. The people who were walking around, my girlfriend talking on the phone, the light bulb above me flickering, distant sounds of cash registers: they all seemed to work in synchrony. That is what I meant when I said it was like looking at a clock. Oddly enough, my mind felt disconnected from my body. I was talking to my girlfriend, but it seemed like my actions were just part of some program. It was like I was following myself around. I don't know how else I can elaborate. I wasn't sure if this experience had anything to do with my Tulpa.

 

As for your tones, I am using your "Tulpatone". It helps me get in a meditative state.

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Day 6&7:

Didn't post yesterday, I only forced for 20 minutes. So, I didn't feel a need to post. Today was better, forced for an hour. Visualizing is getting easier, was able to see Twilight's entire form from a side view and frontal view. Even better, I didn't need to look at my Twilight figure beforehand to do so. Personality seems to be getting some progress. I still don't know how much of the personality I want to define and how much I want to leave for Twilight to decide. I am trying to connect many of the sub-traits that I think of to other sub-traits, i.e. Twilight is bookish, because she has a love for stories. She loves learning, because she sees it as reading into the "story of everything".

 

I decided to talk to Twilight, in what I imagine to be her voice. Even telling her,"this is your voice". I don't know if this is helpful. I also continued to talk gibberish in that voice, going through a spectrum of emotions. I hope this isn't just a waste of time.

 

Headaches have become more frequent, but less severe. Maybe I'm just getting used to them, maybe I am getting better at this seeing with my "mind's eye" thing.

 

I probably won't get that much forcing done tomorrow. Thankfully, I will have time to myself during the week.

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DAY 8&9:

On day 8, I forced for an hour. Thirty minutes on personality, thirty minutes on visualization. Nothing of note happened.

 

Today, I was able to force for even less time. Only 40 minutes, all of it spent on personality. I feel that I am starting to connect all of the traits that I have given Twilight. I do want Twilight to have some room for personality growth, so maybe I will just keep repeating. I did try visualizing today, but I couldn't maintain my focus. Spent the rest of the night playing Shmups, not even attempting to force.

 

I think I might have problems with focusing, not to mention procrastination.

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DAYS 10-12:

 

It's been a few days. I have been procrastinating with my posts and with forcing. Hopefully, that can change. I just need to get motivated.

 

Anyways, I've forced for 30-40 minutes in the last few days. Each time, I've had intense pressure in my temples. It vanishes about 10 minutes after finish forcing.

 

Twilight is becoming more clear in my mind with each day. It almost feels like I'm talking to somebody I've known for a long time, when I force.

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