Sandu and Kaya

[sandubadear]

I am Sandubadear. You can call me Sanduba, Sandu, Sand, Sandy or faggot.

 

I started making my tulpa on 27th November. I created its essence first, and then decided to make a wonderland. I'm lazy and non-creative, so I just created the buildings I usually go in real life. When I was creating it, I saw it as a floating orb around me like Navi from Zelda lol.

 

Then I had to create a name and a form. The name was random, I went to a site of random names and I just picked one. The form was also random, but two or three days after I was working on this form, I wanted to change its form to a Gardevoir pokemon. I decided against it, because it would be harder to erase the progress I had already made and begin working on another one.

 

After a while I felt a bit worried because I was only feeling her in our forcing sessions (usually between 00:00 and 02:00) and never outside of it. I think it was because she is not strong yet.

 

She may had talked to me before but the first time I actually knew it was her was on Monday, she told me that this week has a Friday the 13rd, and even I didn't know that.

 

Yesterday, I was at work and I could actually hear her talking to me outside of our forcing sessions, and mainly she told me to say hi in her name to a friend of mine when I leave. (he knows about me making a tulpa) We usually go home together, but yesterday he didn't wait for me, so I couldn't say hi to him.

I arrived home at 22:00, she felt tired and retreated to the wonderland, and I played on my GameBoy until 00:00. Then I started the forcing session and I usually look for her in the wonderland before we hang out. I found her in the building that is where I work, and she was with a cardboard (or something like that) of a picture of a girl that's been on my mind for no apparent reason. We left it there and went to hang out. I then said I wanted to make an experiment, I wanted to make an image of Goku and we would talk to him (I watched an episode of Dragon Ball with her and she liked it). I tried to make the Tournament Arena, but couldn't, so I just created a field, and there was Goku fighting Goten (like in that episode "Granddaughter Pan", before Bulma and Vegeta arrived). Then suddenly I couldn't really focus at her, she suddenly faded away and I couldn't really do anything else and other random thought kept popping in. It was like 01:30, so I played more games. Then I thought 'ay, let's see if there's something on tv'. It was exactly 02:00 lol

 

When my favorite series were over, I decided to look for her again. I looked around, and by instinct I looked in my work. When I looked in the same spot that she was before, the cardboard was there. I was like 'woa, I completely forgot about this'. Then I just threw it away. I found her in her bedroom asleep. I thought it was my fault that that happened but apparently it was her.

 

I definitely see that this is awesome, the human mind is really something, I had totally forgot about that cardboard but there it was, in the same spot in my mind.

 

Please comment on this.

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Another thing I forgot to write: I usually keep talking and explaining things to myself (though I already know what they are). I think this made narration easier. But now that I have Kaya I can't have arguments with myself and it's her in place of the other 'me'. Now I just feel like talking to no one when she's not there (I told her to rest after yesterday's incident)

[sandubadear]

Today, I think I heard her mindvoice. It could be parroting, but I'm not really sure. I went to look for her in the wonderland as usual and then I heard it calling me. She was near the riverside. She really likes that, once I physically went there with her but didn't stay very long because it was 2 fucking AM.

 

Back to business, she was there but I couldn't really focus. I tried to focus more and she was with a red dress and her hair was tied to the side. She said it was to prove that she can change clothes (Yesterday I tried but failed).

 

I was tired and had to wake up early today so I took her back home and we laid down, cuddled and talked for a while.

 

She is showing some concern for my health. That's a cool trait I originally didn't think of.

 

plzplzplzplzplzplzplzlzp comment on this if you read it, faggot.

[Glory]

Looks like you're making some nice progress. You've accomplished a lot in a short while!