A Newbie Looking for Some Personal Help

[ctxdinkleberg]

Hello Everyone,

 

Before I ask for some help, I would like to take a moment to apologize if I'm doing an inappropriate action by creating a thread right off the starting line. I am new to everything that can be related to Tulpae. I mean that I just learned about tulpae, I've never done anything with meditation and the mind's eye and all that, so I do apologize if I'm doing anything wrong. The reason I made this thread is that, I don't mean to sound self-centered or holier-than-thou but, I feel that the issues I'm having are a little more complex than the solutions a newbie thread would have to offer. I'll explain more later.

 

Moving on to the nitty gritty, I'd like to start with my progress.

 

I've got a name (Lilly) and a form, not that many details other than I'm going for a girl who looks similar to Kairi from Kingdom Hearts. Also, I've got a very vague idea of her personality, if you'd like to see the list please let me know. That's all I've got.

 

On to my issues, I'm having some problems with visualizing. I start with laying down, although I'm going to try sitting up tonight, and listening to Fede's Tones with the lights off and the TV on a low volume because I am afraid of the dark. I close my eyes but I suffer from a very bad case of paranoia and trailing thoughts. I constantly feel like someone is watching me or that someone is in my room and I can't keep my focus long enough to enter a meditative state. My mind drifts onto Random Thought A or Surprise Thought B and latches onto it until I find myself saying, "Back to your breathing" or, "Focus on your breath, in and out."

 

Long story short, do you have any tips that could help me focus?

 

I greatly appreciate any and all advice, and thank you in advance.

[TulpaCouple]

A couple things

 

1. as you go through your day, try to be aware of when you use visualization. Memories are a big one. Can you sometimes see almost a flash of an image when remembering an old family pet, a level in a videogame, or maybe that "coming soon to own on DVD" or whatever from old commercials? Sometimes weird things trigger it--but anyway, noticing things like that really helps with regular visualization.

 

2. figure out the environment in which you best can focus. Some people need to do something with their hands to keep them focused. Fiddling with a stick or some simple object can sometimes use up enough stray thoughts as to lead to a more focused environment. Others might need total darkness. Others might benefit from listening to rainy mood and sitting in a comfy chair.

 

3. As far as paranoia goes, make sure you are in a comfortable and safe environment. Do what you can to prevent those worries. Maybe you need some background noise (helps me when I get spooked) or maybe you need to make a quick check around the house before you start. Do whatever helps you get into the mood so that you are feeling less likely to be paranoid. Sometimes it takes time to find that sweet spot where you are relaxed and focused at the same time.

 

4. it takes practice. Forcing is not something you've ever done, so why would it be easy? it's like learning anything else. Time and practice will help. Realize that having intrusive thoughts is not a bad thing--it's very natural, and in fact, you have them all the time, but they are drowned out by our own distractions and by us focusing on other things. Any time you focus inwardly you will notice them, and in time and practice they will be easier to see through and ignore, and you'll learn how to calm and focus your mind.

 

5. Try just meditating for a few minutes before forcing. No pressure, no time constraints, no things you feel you need to get done. It's okay if intrusive thoughts interrupt because you're just having a no pressure time to chill your mind out. Given that bit of time you'll be in a bit of a better state when you do start forcing.

 

6. Be aware that you don't need to be in a meditative state to force. I know someone who active forces regularly with his eyes open. He does this because he is an active daydreamer, and his easiest method of visualization is with his eyes open, twirling a pencil or whatever. He is not in a meditative state at all, but is relaxed and focused enough to spend time working on his tulpa.

 

7. trial and error. A lot of forcing is very individual. You'll find your comfort zone in time. It just takes a little time to build up the practice and discipline.

[ctxdinkleberg]

Thanks a lot for those points. I might try to listen to rainy mood or maybe just play a calming piece on guitar while I try to force. I'll update if I find anything that works.

[ctxdinkleberg]

Hello again. I wanted to update to those who care to listen. I'm not sure what happened, but my brain just clicked. A couple of nights ago, I closed my eyes and I saw my tulpa, just a little blurry. The last two nights and mornings have been clearing up the image and now I have her almost completely clear. I've also noticed that she has had a couple of occasions of sentience, which I find a little strange this early on.

 

Also, to TulpaCouple, I found that a little music and something to act as a blindfold takes away my fear of the dark and my paranoia. Not quite sure how, but I won't question it.