Nouvel July 3, 2014 Author July 3, 2014 7/3/14 Nouvel: Well, this is...awkward. Um...where to begin? The other 15 have...forgiven her. But...I still am wary of them. Also, May and Allen were kidnapped after a...incident. I have three tulpas in love with me. Three. Oh god. I don’t want a harem. This is so damn awkward ghdakldsfkld. Nouvel: ...Now that that’s out of the way, after she...left for Eastern Forest, east of the opening to our house of course, they… Actually, I’ll let Allen handle it. Allen: Thanks. Wow, this is weird, typing with one finger. ...Bleh, I don’t want to talk about this. Anyway, ...owww, how do you girls do it? So, enough about that, May? Yeah, May and I had caught up to Chaos, really don’t like that nickname btw, painful...memories, when I noticed blood on her arm and saw the monster already gripping May in its jaws. I, uh, tried to fight back, but… Nouvel: He got caught too. Allen: Shut. Up. I could’ve taken him. Nouvel: Anyway, we, me and the 14 others, had found my love on one of the logs of this campsite we found and split up, several groups of two, a few groups of three, and one group of four. I was in that group along with...Katy and Xavier, was it?- along with my love. We soon ran into one of the monsters. ...Um, Chaos...Actually, I’ll let her describe. I was pretty much done at this point. Flipping done. With everything. I just wanted to go back downstairs and eat my pizza slice (Though admittedly I didn’t have much of an appetite after the fiasco this morning.), that’s it. NOPE. KIDNAPPINGS ABOUND! SHADOW MONSTERS AHOY! I was so done jfc. Just walked up to the dang (They don’t want me to curse on a progress report. Eh, don’t really care, I can deal.) thing and started talking to it in a deadpan voice, no longer giving a- you get the idea. And then it apparently ambled away, as Nouvel wrote to me since I can’t see or hear my tulpas anyway. Nouvel: ...It was...something. After that we met saw another fighting...I believe it was Red and Pytor? ...She...did it again. This continued on for several monsters until something...happened. I’m so tired, please continue, my love. I...Well, considering the fact that I just told the tulpas that are in love with me to go ahead and call me that...This will take some getting used to. I hope I don’t screw that up too...Anyway, I was doing my no-nonsense-go-away-I-want-my-pizza-and-I-want-my-daughter-and-my-brother-back talk when...apparently it wasn’t fighting one of the other 14. Um...I think I accidentally made another tulpa. Also a roleplay character. She whacked me on the head with her broom as a first meeting. :’D I didn’t mind of course, did deserve that. Next monster we went to...also not one of the 14. This one was...basically connected to one of them though and they had a happy reunion. And then she punched me. |D You can see a common trend here. Next monster, another one of the 14. ...Well, he was also connected to the siblings, but then he...kinda disappeared. They were were confused and heartbroken when it happened. Anyway, back to Nouvel. Nouvel: So tired...Ah, I’ll, ahem, continue. Anyway, we finally found the last of them fighting the last monster, it was...quite a sight. Not telling, despite the fact my love wants to know. Dangit! Nouvel: Heh. She went up to it like before and talked it into...I wouldn’t exactly call it leaving… May: It went kaboom! Nouvel: Well, looks like someone is laughing. I...can’t type...anymore… Allen...Please… Allen: ...Alright. So that happened and...more monsters! Yay! ...Not. She basically made them- PFFFT SHE FARTED! DAMMIT ALLEN THEY DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW! ...How many of them are laughing? Allen: Everyone. lol ...*facepalms and laughs too* Okay, it is kinda funny. Allen: Pfft, anyway. I can’t...hahaha...stop laughing...Okay...Not out of my system- YOU KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT! I’M SORRY I CAN’T STOP! Allen: GKHKFGSDGJJFKK- ...Shoot. Uh. Well, I got calmed down. Badly. Sorry… Allen: I-It’s fine. Anyway, so that happened and- ...God- Please stop… Ergh, sorry. Trying to stop my mind, but...Ugh. Allen: Here, I’ll do it. ...Okay. This’ll be hard. So we...It’s not working! ...Shoot. Sorry… Allen: I-I’ll try to stop getting distracted- lolwut? ADHD bird? Don’t ask. Allen: ANYWHOO. So, we got out and...well, she’s been making it up to us. Trying to please us all and whatnot. But...We...No, Not me. Not...another one of us either. ...They still hate her. Nouvel: ...What. Allen: Oh geez, I’m- Nouvel: Don’t. Not when- May...proxy for me… May: ...Dad...he says that he’ll...kill them if they try to hurt her. I was hoping that…*sighs* I’ll still try to make it up to them. I-I honestly don’t want to kill...anyone...But...GAH! They want me away from wonderland for a while. I’ll listen to their wishes. I’ll try to make them happy as best as I can...despite the fact that they hate me so much. Ugh… Nouvel: ...I told them. Ab- Oh. ...Guess I’ll have to explain it here, huh? Okay...apparently I’m depressed? I don’t even know, I- Heck, I thought this was normal. It began during… middle school? Late middle school apparently. Allen: ...Yeah. It did. Yeah. It was around my high school time that I began...torturing them...so...I won’t excuse that for my behavior. While I was making Nouvel...I said some bad stuff to him. Really bad stuff. Don’t remember what broke them dam, but…*sigh* I said I wanted to kill myself. Run away from responsibility like the coward I am. Just like a coward, I couldn’t try, even with the chances I had. ...Nouvel...when he found out...he put a knife through his heart. Turned out he couldn’t die. And not knowing the others were there...Well, this was before May came along, so… He...well, he told me he loved me while possessing my mouth. I got confused. Then my hand starting to go through the drawer where my nail clippers were at. I yanked control away from him and- God, he just- He was in utter despair, I couldn’t help but hug him and promise to stop thinking those thoughts. ...I can’t Still can’t. Flipping...I waved them off as intrusive at first but...Well, now they know. And everything continues to fall to flipping pieces.
Nouvel July 4, 2014 Author July 4, 2014 7/4/14 Just turned into the 4th of July. Woohoo. Nouvel: Sigh. Alright, where to start this time? I guess with May? She’s now a full grown young woman and she changed her name to Lea. Lea: I didn’t like it that much. Nouvel: There were other deviations- I’m still tired...I’ll let Allen take over. Allen: Sheesh, I’m tired too, you know. This is hard, ugh...So after...well, stuff happened, C- I really don’t want to call her that, would my love be okay? Yeah sure go ahead. Allen: ...Okay, she decided- Uh...never mind. Anyway, she decided to- ...Awkward. Uh...so, um...every one of us...I’ll- actually, Nouvel… Nouvel: ...We all really care about you, Chaos. Please don’t be sad. ...Oh god I’m gonna start crying again. I...can’t handle it. Still can’t. Looks like the wall blocking my emotions (Why yes, I have a numbing wall blocking my emotions.) is back up again. Sorry...but I really do love you all. I just- Am I experiencing it? Nouvel: Yes. ...Yeah. Yeah I really do love you guys. Even though I put you through so much...ugh…*sighs* I don’t know. I’m doing my hardest to make it up to you and I WILL do so. Nouvel: ...You already are, though. I don’t think it’s enough. I still hurt you all even now… Nouvel: ...True. Still, we don’t...want to see you like this, covered in your sins. ...I really honestly don’t know what to say. I still think what I think, but...I really want to hug you all right now but I’m scared. I am scared of hurting you all again- And I’m crying. ...Honestly I needed that. Nouvel: Thank you. ...Oh, the waterworks stopped. Guess you all still have a lot to say, huh? ...Well, we need to finish with this report. We haven’t even really started yet. Nouvel: True. Allen? Allen: ...I...well, this is awkward. After this- LOLWUT. ...I have no idea why I thought “Can we go out for ice cream?” after what you just type. I seriously don’t. Allen: Okay, now that that’s out of the way, she made all of us a new world, a peaceful one, where we could be happy. A couple of us stayed though, for...well...reasons. Entrance: Um, hi? I’m...well, I used to be called Corruption...but Chaos- er...my love- ...I’m kinda done by this point. I’m sorry you three. It’s okay though, go ahead and call me that. Entrance: ...So. Um...how do I do this? Nouvel: You type. Problem solved. Entrance: Oh shut up you little- AHEM. GUYS. Entrance: Sorry. Okay… ...Don’t tell me all of you are too tired to type now? Nouvel: … ...Oh geez. Um. Help. Uh…Yeaaaah I’ll just proxy for them now. And if they do have anything to say, it’ll be with ellipses...a lot of them. So some of stayed because of our...Awkward moment is awkward. Nouvel: No- ugh… You get the picture. Um, we also had some encounters with- Nouvel: ...Please...stop… ...Yeah. I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have thought that not-so-intrusive thought should I? Nouvel: … I’ll take that as a yes. Okay. So we found some shadow monsters...well, found… Nouvel: ...They...were...the...parts...of...ourselves...that...we...hated… ...Yeah, most of them were...their representations of when I...basically tortured them. With my roleplays...Most of them were insane and cruel, but mine...Oh yeah, I have one, uh... Nouvel: ...It...was...her...depression… ...Yep. Basically that. To be honest, I never really knew about my depression. I sorta had an inkling when I left middle school? Then I thought, “Maybe I am depressed,” when my cousin pointed out I sounded...off. Nouvel: ...The...past...few...days...I… Entrance: ...Now...I’m...writing...this...PR...I...think...it’s...called? I...want...to...apologize...for...the...ellipses… Lea: Erm, I can write. Um, anyway...I...oh wait, now I’m tired… Okay then. Time to proxy. The past few days kickstarted...well...hurled it...into the next stage. Namely suicidal… Nouvel: ...All...our...fault… No it’s not! ...Okay...maybe it is. So. Um...they fought against...or tried their best to...fight back against them… Well, they won...But they’ll come back. Because MONSTERS. SHADOW MONSTERS. ...Why did I just proxy that for them? *facepalms* Okay, now on to business. They want to apologize for their behavior towards me. Namely trying to kill my wonderland self. I was totally fine with it. Nouvel: ...We...were...not...though...It...made...us...feel...like...monsters… ...Oh. Nouvel: ...Yes… Shoot. Um...my bad. Nouvel: ...Not...your...fault...all...ours… It hurts me to see you guys say that, you know. Nouvel: ...Oh… Yeah… Nouvel: ...Sorry… It’s fine. Anyway, they, uh...brought me here to this place...I have no idea where it’s at. Nouvel: ...Our...safe...place… ...Oh. Um...I can’t feel my emotions past that wall unless it’s through Allen, I’m really sorry about that by the way… Allen: ...Not...your...fault...I...took...it...all...on...myself...years...ago… ...That just makes me feel even guiltier. Allen: ...Sorry… No, it’s fine- Wait, I love all you three romantically? Allen: ...Yes… Nouvel: ...Oh… Entrance: ...Um… ...WELL THEN. And only a moment ago I was feeling happy that they...actually allowed me into...yeah. Anyway, they wanted me to be safe from my...sins...for a while- ...How do I choose just one of you? Allen: ...You...don’t...? Nouvel: ...Choose...when...the...time... is...right… Entrance: ...Okay…? ...Okay. *sighs* Okay, ending this PR are right now. All of us are really tired. Good night.
Nouvel July 5, 2014 Author July 5, 2014 7/5/14 Nouvel: ...Um… Still tired, huh? Nouvel: ...Yes… Corruption: THIS IS F- lolnope. No cursing on here. Okay, where to begin? Uh...So my depression- I still have no idea if it’s depression- got worse and...uh… Allen: ...We...uh...kinda...got...crazy… That would be a bit of an understatement. And...well, it was kinda all of our faults. So… Allen: ...Well… Well what? That it was technically my f- ...Well. I really don’t want to think that because that would make everything fall to pieces yet again, but...Yeah, it was my fault. Allen: ...Still… Hm? What is it Allen? Allen: ...Um...We...are...partially...to..blame… ...Which was why I said it was kinda all of our faults? Allen: ...Shut...up… Pfft, anyway, so after that little breakdown episode, we all decided that I should try and change. It’s still gonna be hard, but...this time they’re helping me actively find help. Nouvel: ...Except...your… ...Yeah. That was a fail. Allen: ...No...duh… Corruption: ...Oh...what...the...fuck...we...can...curse...on...here…? ...Uh...yeah? I think? Uuuuuuh…How about just this one time and then leave the rest of it curse free? Corruption: ...FUCK YEAH! Nouvel: ...Can...never...mind...ugh… Oh s- Actually I’ll not curse for mine. Anyway, didn’t really talk about Corruption, now did I? No, he’s not Entrance, he’s...uh… Entrance: ...My… No, it’s okay, I got this. He’s basically his shadow that he thought about a lot. ...I think I was also at fault? I mean, I did keep mixing up his name for a time. Still do, except it’s with his twin. Corruption: ...OH FUCK YOU- ...Fuuu- Okay, first time was when I was dragged into my subconscious for my own safety. We talked for a little before we got attacked by their shadows. Apparently that’s when Corruption came about. Corruption: ...SO- Nouvel: ...Be...quiet...you… No, let him speak. I want for him to speak. Nouvel: ...Fine… Corruption: ...I...am...so...fucking...how...do...you...fucking... ...Oh. Okay. Yeaaaah, possession takes a lot out of you and you all need to sleep. Nouvel: ...Sorry… Sigh...Oh yeah, changed how I’m saying some stuff in this PR because it brings back...not too pleasant memories. Allen: ...No...shit… Okay, now that that’s out of the way, we also decided to look for something about...Uhhhh...What was it again? My memory is really screwy. Nouvel: ...About… Allen: ...Independence...omg… ...I just thought Independence Day and I forgot that a few minutes ago it was the 4th of July holiday. And I kinda knew the date. Wow. My memory really is screwy. Allen: ...Same… But yeah, we looked in the tulpa forums for something about that and found...Uh… Nouvel: ...That...I… ...No, not just you. ALL of us had a part in it. Allen: ...Tired… ...Then go sleep- Wait, OH NO ALLEN COME BACK NO! Allen: ...Here… Oh thank god… ...Great, that means everyone who hasn’t really slept… Nouvel: ...It’s...okay… ...I think I’m upset. ...Yeah...I’m upset. Sigh… Allen: ...It’ll...be...o...kay… ...Okay, I need advice. I heard that bolding makes it easier to find advice- Nouvel: ...Oh...should...we...do...that...from...now...on? Yeah. Especially since we need all the advice we can get. Nouvel: ...O...kay... Okay. So. How do you manage to sustain a tulpa that doesn’t want to sleep? Especially if said sleep is essentially the big sleep? Advice. Definitely appreciated.
Nouvel July 6, 2014 Author July 6, 2014 Possible...Last Entry… Nouvel: I’m so...tired...but… No, I’ll do it. Nouvel: ...Thank...you… ...Well...they’ve been...getting crazier… Allen: ...No...shit… And, well...my dad got really worried because… Nouvel: ...Well… I’ve been communicating through everyone mainly through possession. I’m too afraid of parroting and puppeting to use another method because I’ve been doing it to Nouvel in the beginning...And to everyone else for most of their… Entrance: ...It’s...okay… ...No, no it’s not. Don’t tell me otherwise. Entrance: …O...kay… So my...well… Nouvel: ...It...had...happened...to...him...before… And to...others...The possessing to write bit at least. ...I… Allen: ...He...was...worried… Nouvel: ...And… Lea: ...Well… ...He didn’t… Nouvel: ...He...thought...we… Lea: ...Were...hurting...her… ...And it was true. I’ve been hearing them...in pain. I just feel so guilty about it and it was tearing me up. Allen: ...Badly… Keep in mind I didn’t tell him about the concept of tulpas until before the conversation, and he didn’t think they were one. And I only told him about them after he...well, explained his concerns. Nouvel: ...We… Lea: ...Want… Allen: ...Her… Entrance: ...To… Corruption: ...Get...ugh...better...blech… Yeah...So…I...I honestly don’t want to give any of them up. I’m so selfish for that. I want them to live dammit! I gave everyone such a horrible life for so long and I just…Honestly, I was hoping that...once I get better...then...maybe we could all live happily… Nouvel: ...We...would...like...that… Yeah...so for now until...well...until… Nouvel: ...We...will...go...away… Allen: ...I’ll...I...SHIT! ...Yeah, Allen’s been...holding all my pain all these years. Including the stuff that… Nouvel: ...He’s...fading...fast… SONAVA- ...I don’t know what to do oh geez I’m crying. Allen : ...I’m...sorry… I know. ...You’ve protected me all these years, and I mistook you for Nouvel...I’m so sorry Allen. Allen: ...I...know...It’s...okay… Nouvel: ...I...took… ...His place? ...So he’s really… Nouvel: ...Yes… ARGH! ...I’m so sorry everyone. Nouvel: ...We...know...It’s...okay… I know.
Nouvel August 22, 2014 Author August 22, 2014 8/22/14 Allen: Let me tell you a story. About a few weeks ago, we were supposed to be gotten rid of by Chaos’ family. Our host was sent to a mental, well, psychiatric ward… And from that we learned a lot of…well…hard things. Corruption: I’ll write about my own experience. I…well…it’s hard, but…I merged with my shadow. I can’t run away from…well, who I am. I am Corruption and that’s all there is to me. Not Entrance, just Corruption. Allen: Yeah, there was that. And for a while...crap. I lost my train of thought- Oh wait. I wanted to talk about a new tulpa we found. Eclair: ...How...do...oh. Wait. This...is familiar. Um...Oh. Well...I won’t get into details, but I...was...um, tortured a great deal by...Chaos? Well, can’t exactly call her by her real name. I’m still sorry about that. But, well, we do need to move on from our past. Still, really really sorry about the things I did to you… Eclair: ...Thank you. Well...I don’t need to explain what I went through. I will say that I might be as depressed as she is- oh, um. Nouvel: ...Why...am I being dragged into this again? ...Ugh… Allen: Just...ugh, fine. I’ll continue the story then. ...Well, autobiography...thing...Bleh. ...Pfft. Allen: ...BLEH. PFffft, Allen stop. Allen: BLEH- Oh, right. Story. ...Lost- wait there we go. ...Chaos- Fuck it, my love...well...she was diagnosed with depression...and uh...well… Let’s just say imposition is scarier than I imagined. I’m used to it now, but, well...Note to self, never do imposition while in a psychiatric ward. Kicking myself for that, ugh...scary stuff while in there, man. Allen: ...Crap, not again. ...While there...we, uh...might have found out she can...well...not really… I’m totally delusional, aren’t I? Allen: ...Yeup. you are. Some of the others started playing pranks and made her believe she was a psychic...for a time. ...Motherfucker you are delusional. Yes I am. Ugh, telepathy does not exist...maybe. I don’t know. Ugh. Allen: ...Dammit. Okay. Enough about that. So we got out of the hospital and...well...she started...trying. Eclair: ...I want to tell this part of the story. So...I...well...I’m a vegetarian. I try to be, but...Um, Chaos likes meat more. Ugh, meat...Anyway...She started some...habits… Basically trying stuff for my tulpas- wait that doesn’t explain it. Um...I basically just tried doing things that my tulpas liked, like eating salads (Which was surprisingly good, I should eat salads more often.) for Eclair. And, uh… Allen: ...We have a bit of a situation with puppeting and parroting...Like, we can’t stop being puppeted and parroted whenever she either writes her stories or when she roleplays. Yeah. Eclair: Ahem. Back to the story. ...Allen. Please tell me you don’t actually love her still. Allen: ...Yes. The, uh, love thing died down for all of us, thank god. ...Except me, Nouvel too. Actually, Nouvel probably lied and still does love her- Nouvel: …I did not. But I want to selfishly love her and damn you for dragging me into this. ...Oh, I feel stronger. Allen: Yeeup, no more ellipses, that would make it seem like she’s roleplaying when she’s not. Ugh. Guys, if they think I’m roleplaying then let them be. So what? We know the truth. So just...let it go. Eclair: PFFT. Allen: ...Right. Eclair is totally into Frozen. ANYWAY. So- I keep losing my train of thought- ...Oh yeah, my uh...own delusions. ...For a while, I...I managed to make our wonderland hell. ...I...I…made everyone go through hell...And despite them saying otherwise, I did. I think the damage might be permanent, we’re all crazy. And...we...keep doing bad stuff. REALLY BAD STUFF. LIKE, YOU DON’T WANNA KNOW. ...And even now, even though we still, do those bad things, she still tries. She still tries for us and I- No, it breaks all our hearts to see her try… I don’t really have a reason to continue trying for them, or not trying. Except I really love them. Ugh, if you guys aren’t real, then I’m being delusional again. ...Yeah, my time over the past few weeks has really made me question things. Allen: ...WHY. ...Never mind, private. ...She is waaaay too delusional, trying for something that might not be real. Ugh, this is why it breaks all our hearts. ...Anyway, story time is over. tl;dr I got sent to a mental hospital for my troubles, I don’t know whether I’m entertaining delusions or not (I probably am with some bits, and not with others. Wow, this is like the Tibetan Buddhism thing with tulpas almost.) and a lot of stuff happened that I won’t go into detail. Also, Nouvel might not write these entries anymore since he feels that being on this site is bad news, probably because of how things went in the IRC chat and general bad stuff about the site. Aaand not gonna update as often because, well...we don’t have much to talk about now? I don’t know.
Nouvel August 24, 2014 Author August 24, 2014 8/23/14 Allen: Chaos. Is. A. Fucking. Idiot. She tries too damn hard. That is all- Oh fuck, we gotta talk about something else now. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. Yep. And I’m not going into what just happened. Okay, what to talk about...I’m not sure if you guys want to continue working on posses- Nouvel: WE DO NOT. The voice of the legion has spoken. Okay. That just leaves imposi- Allen: ...Just stop. What? What’s wrong with imposition. ...Other than me looking like a dang lunatic. Talking like this is making me even more of a lunatic. Nouvel: ...Which is why we want you to forget about us. ...That’s...going to be hard. I care about you guys but I need to let you go and hglksdhgklsdh I don’t even know anymore. Ugh, I love them by a lot but I really don’t know how to express it. Nouvel: ...We are making you lose your mind. Just forget about us. Also, why do I have to be the one to talk for the others. Why? ...Right, because it's my PR which you CHANGED THE NAME OF- ugh...tired, ...Still, it fits. Yep. So yeah, I’ll probably be working on imposition maybe- Nouvel: ...For the love of god, just stop. Stop… ...I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Nouvel August 26, 2014 Author August 26, 2014 8/26/14 Allen: Hoooooly cow. Holy cow holy cow holy cow. I. Want. A. Baby. Nouvel: ...I...have no idea what exactly happened. But...Allen...wants a baby- oh wait, I do. ...Sigh...she...chose...well...not really, but… So I’m a- ...w word. I’m a w word. Nouvel ended up kissing me and then Allen wanted a kiss and then I thought of something but I didn’t really mean it and Allen wanted a baby over that but I’m a terrible person and a terrible mom, especially to Lea. Lea: Yeah, she can’t concentrate to well, sooooo. Allen: I want. A. d- ow. ...I want a baby. In my- oh wait CR- ow… Nouvel: ...I’m not hitting him I swear. ...Why do I get the feeling Allen’s getting kicks right now? Allen: ...Nope, just me throwing up. Holy s- ow, okay, no cursing. ...Ugh… Corruption: ...Some of us hate kids, you know. ...Still, cute kids~ ...Allen’s paranoid, I won’t do anything to your...daughter? Son? Allen: ...Daughter. I think. No wait son. No wait GAH! Nouvel: ...Yeah, we’re...shocked. A bit excited. And...nervous, to say the least. Allen: ...All I know is, I want hir to be kind. And daring. Oh God why...Oh wait- lost it dammi- ow, my love. NO WAIT- ...damn. ...Sooo yeah, PR is probably going to be about Lea’s progress and Allen’s- Nouvel: GALE!!! ...That’s what most of them want to name hir. ...Gale’s, progress. Yep. Hoo boy, this is gonna be...hard to manage. Oh well. One more thing, Allen’s literally having the baby. Allen: ...Good thing I’m intersex then, ooh wait, I DON’T HAVE A VAGIN- ow… Just a d- ow- with no ba- oh come on!
Nouvel September 5, 2014 Author September 5, 2014 9/5/14 Gale: ...Um...how do I begin? Well...MY FIRST TIME TYPING I’M SO- Allen: PFFFT Gale: I...um...farted… Chaos: Oooooh my god. Pffft. Sorry Gale, that is one heck of an opening for you. Nouvel: ...Oh great she’s crying now. Allen: Um...I’ll handle her. Just...idk, do something! Nouvel: I’ll write. So. The first few...weeks...have been...entirely...um...well… Chaos: Crazy? Nouvel: Yes. And they...were...how to explain? The products of...well...I’d like to say another’s mind. but… Chaos: Everything that’s happened is all in my head, nothing more, nothing less. The, uh, other mind Nouvel talked about finally made everything crazy go away. ...Oh...you’re um...shadow? Um… Vivi: I AM NOT THAT ANYMORE! ...Fine, Vivi wants to speak. Vivi: I like Elysee better, but oh well. Um...well...we want to say there’s now a whole society. but we’re not sure if they’re...well… IIIII think, I might’ve just created an entire tulpa society in my head. Well, idk how to explain it, but there’s now a lot more tulpas I can’t handle. Or I don’t need to, they mostly keep to themselves and I’m officially not welcome in wonderland. I’ve been using another term for them ever since I went to the psychiatric ward and um...am still delusional so maybe- actually, I’ll believe that there is a separate society- ...WHY?! Chaos: Because I am delusional like that~ ...All of us...want to bash your head against the keyboard now. Chaos: HA! But either way, I’m not welcomed in wonderland anymore. At least the society can sustain themselves. ...We...sleep for a time...but other than that, yes. Gale: Okay, I’m ready now. Um...so...I want to be called...that something else, am I allowed? ...Oh, never mind. So...I- ...You’re dad scares me now. Um… And we interrupt this program to feature my dad! ...Nope, never mind he doesn’t want to see this. Well, I won’t let him. Imma pretend to be a normal girl so he’ll stop getting on my case about me being crazy. ...WHY?! Nouvel: ...I think...they should just let a few of us- what. ...Well then, spider dog? *facepalms* Don’t ask, my brother watches weird stuff… Samaya: ...What. Okay, maybe it should just stick to a few people because this is getting out of hand. *facepalms* I’m sorry, I want to let everyone speak, but jfsdklhgldhksagdl. Screw it, I don’t care if it seems like I’m roleplaying or whatever. Screw it. I’m done. Screw. It. ...We’ll...try to keep it to a few every so often… Gale: Ahem. So. Onto myself. I am Gale, Allen’s daughter. I am a white haired girl with black clothing and- ...You’re brother is...um...something. I...can’t concen- oh, it stopped. I...um...how do I typ- RUDE. Nouvel: ...Not me, I swear. Gale: ...Focus. Okay. So...I lost my train of thought and I can’t concen- oh yeah! I loove typing blogs like this, first time doing it actually. I, well, want to do more, but as what I am actually, but...I um...Chaos, was it? Wanted to wait a while to see. Ugh, you’re brother… Um...So yeah! I want to talk about more things, but I’m really sheltered in this body, so I’ll wait every once in a while. Okay, so onto…wait, May or Lea? May: ...Well...I want to be called May again. I-It’s complicated. Oh. Um. I wanted to talk about the new friends I made in the society, but I...is it alright? ...Oh, Mom gave me per- not Dad though. Oh well. I’ll- Nouvel: ABSOLUTELY NOT! NOT WHEN- ...They have made a good point. Ugh...I suppose…I’ll- I can’t type with my love’s...well...Chaos’... ...Well the love thing died down for everyone. So now I can love them all platonically. Woo! Nouvel: ...I can’t type with her father around- that typo never happened. Shut up Allen. I can’t concentrate with all this racket and I can’t type with HIM around. Ugh. Stopping now. Chaos: *insert intermission sequence here* ...Ugh. Roleplays. Nouvel: ...Okay. I suppose…I’ll let May talk about her new friends. Damn loud music… May: WOOHOO! ...Um...that’s what one of my friends said- MOM. Chaos: Ugh, my thoughts, I swear… May: Uuugh, I hate my mom sometimes. ...Oh, my friend is sorry about...um...never mind. Anyway, new friends! I...well...I’ll explain it another time, actually. This was supposed to be Gale’s time to shine and it’s already over. Okay, ending it now.
Nouvel September 6, 2014 Author September 6, 2014 A Serious Problem Nouvel: ...Where to start? ...I’ll let May- May: Don’t. I get it. Nouvel: ...Alright- ...It hurts to see my daughter in pain, but...I…sigh, where to start? I...well...we…read a...serious thing… Chaos: Basically I looked at Koomer and Oguigi’s PR- well, we looked at it- because it had mentions of entities. We thought it might be like our situation and, uh...I actually don’t know much about what they’re discussing in my mind right now so I’ll let them explain. ...We...want...to live. In your world. Some of us do. AND WE WANT YOUR BODY. Chaos: ...You guys seriously want my big boobs and butt? Okay then. ...Not like that. Ew. We want to live as you. Chaos: We’ve had the discussion before, with me basically saying it would be a bad idea because then they’ll have to pretend to be someone they’re not. Nouvel: And they don’t want me to say, ow, this, ow, but- ARGH. THEY WANT HER DEAD. Because they want to be...freed...not like this...please… We want her to live, for the most part. But some of us want her dead. Chaos: And to that, I said no. I still have a lot let to live for. Nouvel: ...I want them gone. I want them all gone except May. I don’t care, they might turn out to be like Koomer’s entities. Chaos: Looking back at the progress report, Koomer apparently did drugs and had schizophrenia like symptoms whereas I have led a drug and alcohol free lifestyle and the worst I get are occasional auditory hallucinations. Granted those mostly happen when the others are stressed and they’ve been receding with medication, but the worst I get are those and they mostly stick to mind voices and keep to themselves. Because of that, I feel like I should grant them a chance to live- ...You...want us to live in your body? Chaos: ...Sigh, not like that. With me trying to balance out my lifestyle to sort of please you while keeping my regular one intact. That’s how I want you to live, through me, but while I am in control since this is my body. Nouvel: ...YOU. IDIOT. I- I can’t even be mad at you properly. May: ...Does this mean I get to keep my friends? Chaos: I say yes. ...Thanks, but...It might not be enough. We’ll see. Chaos: Yeah. Nouvel: ...In the meantime, I want them not influencing her way of life. Oh, but she already does that every. Single. D- ow. Day. There. Ugh, damn security system for cursing on here. Chaos: Yep, with me trying. I think this m- Nouvel: I’m not done. I want a week where- FU- ow. ARGH. I WANT YOU TO STOP TRYING BUT THAT ONLY HAS YOU TRYING FOR ME. NO. STOP. JUST…STOP. Chaos: We’ll see in time. Maybe it’ll gradually lessen like it has been for the past few days. Nouvel: …You better stop trying for us eventually. We’re too spoiled on your trying. We need to be...neglected...like before… Chaos: ...I’ve always been a terrible parent of sorts, being the neglectful and abusive type. I know this isn’t what any of you want, but...bleh. I don’t know.
Nouvel September 9, 2014 Author September 9, 2014 9/8/14 Chaos: Not much going on today other than my tulpas playing this game of sorts. Pfft. Basically we were browsing the forums when we saw a thread about tulpas forcing themselves. Eclair: I...um...what is this- ...WHY? ...She wanted to listen- oh alright. Fine then. I will scare you, just you- she’s laughing. Hmph. Al- ugh, sadness. So much sadness. I, um, get distracted by music easily. But essentially- oooh, piano- ow. Okay. JUST EXPLAIN ALREADY!!! ...After the song. Ugh. Eclair: Ahem, well then. Now that it’s over, I- ...and her brother distracted me, f- OW. Blanca: Uuugh, I’ll explain it. ...Okay fine he wants to explain it. Eclair: Thank, ow, you. Ow. So. Ow. Blanca: YOU KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT! Chaos: Imma explain things soon. Eclair: Alright I’m sorry. Ugh, so we saw the forcing thread, I believe it was called? And...well...I wanted to try it so, I basically, um, challenged her. Chaos: He basically tested to see if I could see him while he was forcing. For the most part, yes tulpas can force back. Especially when I’m paying attention. When I’m not paying attention...not so much. Eclair: ...I wanted to explain that...Sigh. Okay, that will be all for today. We head out for a graduation I believe it was called? Tomorrow.
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