Babby's First Tulpa

[Maximus]

Last night I decided to start on a tulpa creating journey

 

I came up with a bunch of personality traits and morals and stuff and set those aside for a little while.

Before trying to give my tulpa a personality I tried to visualize a wonderland. After about 10 minutes of hard concentration the most I couldn't really create a clear image. I managed to imagine a white blob in the void of my mind which has become a placeholder image of my tulpa. It was hard to keep concentration past about 15 minutes because of vibrations and eye shakes. I took breaks about every 10 minutes to avoid this since it was seriously messing with my ability to imagine and focus.

I worked for about 45 minutes I think just kind of telling the white blob about it's personality and just kept telling it things like how excited I am for it and how hard I'm going to work on it. I told it that once I get better with my visualization skills that I would make it a better place to live until I can impose it on reality.

 

Today I've talked to it a little bit in the shower and during my off time. I've just feeding it more of it's personality and telling it how I feel and stuff.

I won't get around to today's big forcing session for another 4 or 5 hours when I'm completely free from distraction though.

 

Any advice and suggestions are welcome.

I'll update this probably once or twice a week or more frequently if exciting stuff happens.[/size][/font]

[Maximus]

UPDATE #1:

Nothing too exciting to report after just about 6-7 hours of forcing.

 

I decided to name my tulpa Lauren for the time being. Just until she's sentient enough to name herself something else if she chooses.

 

Lauren's previous placeholder form of a white blob has devolved into nothing due to my inability to focus on visualization and forcing personality at the same time.

 

I have been spending a portion of time in each session practicing my visualization and I am noticing improvements. I finally figured out how to use my mind's eye, but I'm still not able to use it very well. I can visualize the outline of pretty much everything, and for very basic things I can manage a solid white or grey fill for a couple of seconds. I think I can get over these visualization troubles with more practice and concentration exercises, but if anyone has any advice on that matter then feel free to post.

 

 

Also, the headaches have started to set in. They only stick around a couple hours after forcing, so it's really no big deal.

 

I wish there was more to report, but after such a small amount of time I guess I can't really expect much.

[Maximus]

UPDATE: 1.5

 

First emotional response 7/12/12 at approx. 12AM

 

Can't wait for todays forcing session.

[Black Bane]

Hmm...

Try imagining a cardboard box being shot to bits.

After you can do this, just try the box.

congratulations, you can now visualize a box!

(tell me if this works, I have no clue.)

[Maximus]

As week 2 comes to an end, I still do not have too much exciting news to report.

 

Everyday visualization is getting more vivid and focus is getting easier. I've stopped the personality forcing sessions and moved on to visualization after about 8 or 9 hours. I stopped counting hours after that point but I'm pretty sure I'm in the neighborhood of 12 - 15 hours of total forcing not including my almost constant narration.

 

Lauren has been giving me more and more frequent emotional responses and I've been getting tinnitus pretty bad lately, which isn't something I've really experienced before. I think within the next couple of weeks Lauren may become vocal, but I'm not going to try to rush it.

 

As I said earlier I am getting way better at visualization and focusing on my visuals, but I'm having a lot of trouble with puppeting Lauren's body. I know I'm the one causing it to move, but I can't just stop myself from doing it. It pisses me off to no end, and I'm sure Lauren doesn't like it much either. I make sure to apologize to her whenever I do it, but I can't help but feel like it might have some sort of negative effect in the future if I don't stop it pretty soon.

 

Last weekend, I tried to force while intoxicated by various substances. After a couple of bowls I can barely recall what I was trying to do but I'm pretty sure it just ended in me getting snacks and falling asleep. I also noticed that I could visualizing things much more vividly, but keeping one thing on my mind was impossible and my visions kept switching. After a couple of drinks I didn't really notice anything different with forcing except that I was more sleepy and couldn't last as long. I also managed to obtain a very weak dose of 'LSD' from my friend for free so I thought I would try that. I didn't get any feels from that blotter so I can't say what it's like forcing while actually tripping. I might try forcing on a real dose of LSD or mushrooms in the near future just to see how it turns out.

 

Can't wait to see how next week turns out.