Lilly and I

[baybrony9514]

I've never really blogged before so this may take some getting use to. I've been working on my tulpa for a few days, and have had some unexpected and surprising results considering that this is the third day. I'm going to past a journal I've been keeping (if it can be called that, I did it for a day before starting this) and see if this is normal. No idea it normal even fits on this website, but whatever. normal's for chumps.

 

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Day 2:

For the past two days, I have been working on giving my tulpa personality. I do so by first, going over each trait I wish for her to have, (telling her about each trait for at least two minutes each, or until I’ve repeated myself 87 times). After that, I take a trip into wonderland, and imagine a shelf with a bunch of jars on it. each jar is filled with a different colored liquid and labeled with one of her traits. I pour it on her form (a pony) and rub it into her coat. this also helps me to give her form and texture, so I’m hoping it will shorten the process when it comes to giving her form. Once I’ve rubbed half to the trait jar into her coat, I have her drink the remaining half. Then I move on to the next jar.

 

Strangely enough, today she was more responsive. She smiled at me as I rubbed it into her face, and moved around a bit. She also changed her main color to green, and changed the style (to my surprise) I thought that she would be sentient very soon, but did not expect her to be so reactive on the second day. Maybe I’ve made a new more effective way of creating a tulpa, or maybe it just works better for Lilly and I. Regardless I’m going to continue with the personality/forming for at least 5 days, or until I’m content. Then I will move on to actually working on her form. I hope to write in this log every day after a forcing section, so that I can track my progress, and maybe share it with others. So far each of my two sessions have been just over a half hour.

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Is any of this normal on day 2? I'm not sure, but from what I gather, she shouldn't be like this for...a while. Also keep in mind that that was just pasted from my own journal, I had no intent of sharing it at the time I wrote it so i'm sorry for any mistakes or whatever. I'll probably be posting again in an hour or two after another forceing session where some other unexpected thing will happen causing me to question weather or not I'm messing this up somehow.

 

Also, I read that somewhere that a tulpa can communicate through strange head aches or something. I'm not sure if this is true, but I am definitely getting them. Well...stranger then what I'm used to at least.

 

I'm honestly not even sure why I'm writing any of this. Probably because I'm doing something super amazing and exciting and I have no one to share it with. I guess when Lilly gets talking I can chat with her about it. That may come a little faster then I except it to...

 

Regardless thanks for reading, and have a good day. Carpe diem.

[Alexavier]

Hello! Welcome to the community! And yes, it is normal if your Tulpa starts showing signs of sentience. It's really good that shes developing on the second day, that means she'll develop a lot faster (surely a lot faster than mine, lol) but the more you Tulpaforce and Visualization you do, She'll be completely developed in no time! And it is exciting once you're able to created something as amazing as this as your best friend for life. Having a friend in your head giving you advice and just being there for you, its amazing c:

 

But anyways, I hope you and Lilly have a great future together, Also, you two have a great Christmas as well!

[baybrony9514]

Hello! Welcome to the community! And yes, it is normal if your Tulpa starts showing signs of sentience. It really good that she developing on the second day, that means she'll develop a lot faster (surely a lot faster than mine, lol) but the more you Tulpaforce and Visualization you do, She'll be completely developed in no time! And it is exciting once you're able to created something as amazing as this as your best friend for life. Having a friend in your head giving you advice and just being there for you, its amazing c:

 

But anyways, I hope you and Lilly have a great future together, Also, you two have a great Christmas as well!

 

Thanks. Marry Christmas to you as well!

[baybrony9514]

So, I think I may have messed up. Here's the log:

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Day 4:

Did very little on day 3, Just did a little forcing for Lillys personality, got to distracted and emotional to do the visualization. Today I did the telling her about herself forcing thing, then I did some work remodeling my wonderland. Short form, Its a logged cabin in the woods with four locked doors for me or lilly to work on later. After going over looking at the room from a bunch of different angles, Lilly came out of one of the doors I had marked Lilly’s room. I was so surprised that I wasn't totally convinced it was happening. I told her I wasn't sure if she would even be sentient enough to be doing that, and asked that she go back in her room (which I haven't made yet, but she still burst out of it) while I try to figure stuff out. I sat down on against the door to her room and told her I’m sorry that I don’t really trust myself, and that its not her fault I’m afraid that it was in my head (I know it was in my head, but I fear it was made by my mind) I think she may have been crying on the other side. I’m not sure if she can do that yet either. I think I’ve been poisoned My the stories online where people take weeks to develop there tulpa, when mine seems sentient on day two, and is speaking and manipulating wonderland (which I had built moments before) on day for.

 

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So, as far as I can tell, I have a few problems. I don't trust that what's happening is really happening, because I seem to think that my tulpa should develop like everyone elses (Which I know is wrong) And I'm afraid Lilly may be developing faster then I'm comfertable with. If she really is at the stage she seems to be, then that gives me vary little time to get used to having my BFF is living in my head. I though that I would have some time to grow as she did and get used to it, but if she's really already that sentient, then she'll be finished before I'm even used to forcing. I think I'm the first person to hope that I was somehow puppeting her some how. I have a vary, vary overactive imagination so it could be possible right? Is this what it feels like for a parent when there kids growing up to fast? Cause mine seems to be growing up over the course of a week. Ugh this is so much more stressful then I meant for it to be.... Advice?

 

Edit: day 4 part 2:

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I just did the visualization portion in my wonderland, and other than a few nasty thoughts of mine finding there way in trying to ruin it, it went well. Lilly was responsive, but not as she was earlier, so that must have been my overactive mind wandering. Or me suppressing her.

 

Eidt: Sigh, everythings working fine, my imagination decided to conjure it up, pleace disregard my ignorance.