OpticThrill January 12, 2015 January 12, 2015 Hello. My name is Ken, and my tulpa's name is Samantha. I decided to do this mainly for my own benefit, but I will do my best to highlight the important things that happen as I go through the process.
OpticThrill January 13, 2015 Author January 13, 2015 01/12/2015 Today was a rather stressful day. For contextual purposed, I recently got out of the military at the end of December. As a result, I find myself dealing with the Veteran's Administration, college, job searching, and general ongoing mental health issues. Needless to say there were large parts of the day when Sam slipped from my mind. I did manage to keep her relatively involved throughout the day for the most part, though I'm still not sure if what I'm feeling/hearing is her. I'll just keep the faith for now, I suppose.
Linkzelda January 13, 2015 January 13, 2015 Wish you the best, OpticThrill, and it's even more admirable for you to go through this after what you've been through. Even if she may not be apparent to you in terms of vocality, just know that if she were to be sentient, she would eventually understand that making sure you're grounded again with real life can absorb a lot of your time. And if she never comes to terms with that, there's nothing wrong with telling her in the future that you had to make sure your other priorities were straightened out. [align=center]7 Hours of Active Forcing 8 Hours & 29 Minutes of Active Forcing 10 Hours of Active Forcing[/align]
OpticThrill January 14, 2015 Author January 14, 2015 Wish you the best, OpticThrill, and it's even more admirable for you to go through this after what you've been through. Even if she may not be apparent to you in terms of vocality, just know that if she were to be sentient, she would eventually understand that making sure you're grounded again with real life can absorb a lot of your time. And if she never comes to terms with that, there's nothing wrong with telling her in the future that you had to make sure your other priorities were straightened out. Thanks for the support. 01/13/2015 Today was rather lackluster. Bought some work clothes, went to class. I did my best to narrate what I did throughout the day as much as possible. Still struggling with doubt, especially since I don't believe in faith. I suppose that's normal though. I seem to be getting responses, though I still find myself wondering if it's just me. From what I've read here though, you can't parrot a tulpa unless you have the intention of doing so, which I don't. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. That helps a bit. Hopefully I'll get a concrete sign at some point.
OpticThrill January 15, 2015 Author January 15, 2015 01/14/2015 The day itself was uneventful. I did some daily college stuff, did some homework, and tried to include her in the activity. In the evening, I decided to stop avoiding it and sit down and try to force for about thirty minutes. I've never been good at sitting and patiently focusing. In fact, it's almost painful for me. Nevertheless, I did it. This particular session I did with my eyes closed, which ended up producing a sort of "floating" feeling along with a bit of headiness. Almost dizziness, but more like a slight disconnect with my body. Not sure what that was. Basically, I was simply trying to focus on the ball of light placeholder form I had given her. Anyway, a good way into this, probably about a little over ten minutes, I got a word. I assume it was a name, because it was "Tara" and came with a picture of a blond anime-type woman's face. It was unexpected and I still have doubts, but I tried to think of what I could have been thinking that could have brought that image and word to my mind, but I couldn't find anything. I've never even heard or thought of the name "Tara" spelled that way and pronounced the way it was before. I only made it a few minutes more after that because I didn't want to forget any of this before writing it down. So, really... I guess I should change her name, as it obviously might not be what I thought it was. Interestingly, I had been having doubts about it being the wrong name for a while now.
OpticThrill January 16, 2015 Author January 16, 2015 01/15/2015 Yet another stressful day dealing with the VA. Narrated for most of the day from what I can remember, though I still can't sense much clear response. Forced in the middle of the day and in the evening, and had a little more definition come through on Tara's face. It had previously been unclear and was irking me, and it's very clear now. (For my own memory purposes, she's blond with small rounded glasses. Kind of has the librarian look with a ponytail.)
TheSanctuary January 16, 2015 January 16, 2015 Don't worry about the not getting an instant response - differs for everyone - some seem lucky and do it in a day or two or others can take weeks for something more concrete - of course some are also able to dedicate many hours a day to active forcing too which will have an effect - just keep going and you will get there good fellow!
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