Sit, Boy! (Blue and Natsu the Leonberger)

[blue332]

I hate my incredibly open and imaginative mind. It's both a blessing and a curse - it makes me always open to new ideas, yet almost always indecisive. Which has been my current problem long before I even joined these forums. And my little tulpa, he/she just goes along with my imagination. But now I'm trying to gain some consistency here, at least with form.

 

Right now, he has retained the name of Natsu but is back to dog form as a male Leonberger. Which in my opinion suits him because he is very sweet and gentle (at least to me). That being said, we are both trying to stay put, starting with me making a bullet journal so I can put all my endless thoughts together. This will hopefully put all those nice plans I've been thinking of into motion, including meditating which I really need to do now.

 

Basically since this morning around when I arrived at school he decided to be a Leo after I flipped through the pages of my grooming book. And if you don't know what a Leonberger is, it is one of those big big furry dogs that is very gentle and sweet and makes the perfect companion.

 

 

And I'm out.

[blue332]

7.21.15

 

Judging by the past day, Bullet Journaling has helped a lot. I write down my real life things and my tulpa things, and between last night and now I clocked about 42 minutes active forcing / meditating time. Which what I personally do is listen to the radio and hang out with Natsu. And that's not counting all the time I passively force, which is for sure anytime I am conscious. Natsu's always by my side.

 

When I used to meditate I went into my wonderland, but I don't remember what it used to be at all so I am making a new one which is an island city called Fool's Paradise. (Inspiration: Los Santos from GTA5) Me and Nastu are going to be living in a fancy apartment complex called Pirate Towers. I'm making a block model of it on minecraft, because it helps me visualize it better. In fact I plan on making a model of the whole city in minecraft. I hope I can finish at least our room by tonight so we can hang out in it.

 

One thing I did notice is Natsu can get aggressive when I get the least bit frustrated at other people. I guess he's really in tune with my emotions. Oh yeah, and he gets real hyper, like a puppy. Sometimes when I'm walking somewhere, say, the kitchen, he will run as fast as he can there. And he's big, it only takes him a few steps.

 

That's all for now.

[blue332]

7.23.15

 

A couple of things over the past few days I noticed - when I'm not really paying attention to Natsu, he falls asleep nearby me. Usually this happens at school when I'm too focused on what I'm doing to consciously project him. He doesn't really like to go to wonderland unless I do, or do anything unless I do. He's very attached to me. Also he is aggressive, when a couple family members came into my room, he growled and even snapped at them when they got too close. But maybe it was because we were watching One Piece together. We decided to watch and read the series from the very beginning together, and he really enjoys the series.

 

In the wonderland I have finished the apartments, but not the parking garage that will be attached to it. I have also finished a grooming place which I wanted to do for a while now, because he is shedding and I wanted to give him a bath and stuff. But I decided to give him the bath tomorrow because I wanted him to be fresh for the trip we're going on this weekend. And that's another thing, I can use him to practice grooming since I'm out to be a dog groomer. I've already cut and filed his nails I believe the first day he assumed Leonberger form. Very good practice if you ask me. I also changed the name of the wonderland world to Atlantis.

 

And as of the moment there is 147 minutes active forcing time. If that even means anything much. I just jot down however long I force in the morning. On that note, lately time seems to fly in the real world while I'm forcing - for example it would feel like 5 minutes passed but really 20 passed. And that used to be quite the opposite in the beginning.

 

And that's about it for now.