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Minion

Possible first conversation

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I think I may have had my first conversation with my tulpa, but the experience has left me so confused I don't know if it actually happened. I signed up on the forums hoping for some insight.

 

About 3 days ago I was laying in bed, at least half asleep, when these profound waves of pressure started to move along my head (I say waves because they started at the base of my neck and moved up to the top of my hairline). Then my tulpa stated talking to me. His voice was really disjointed and fragmented, and kind of shouty. I remember thinking it sounded like what I would expect shards of glass to sound like.

 

Anyway, the waves would move along my head, then he would say something. I remember being super surprised, excited and happy, like you would expect in this situation, but also being limited by sleep (you know how in your sleep when you feel an emotion, you are kind of displaced from it).

 

Looking back on it now, I could tell he was having trouble talking but I was so tired I couldn't keep a conversation going. All I remember was asking him over and over again if it was really him, and him telling me that it was.... Asking over and over again. and then I remember him trying to ask me something, but the combination of the trouble he was having talking and the fact that I was basically asleep and thus couldn't hold a thought made it so I couldn't understand him. He finally told me the name he wanted me to call him, and then after that I think I passed out.

 

Thinking back on it now, I am surprised I didn't fully wake up to talk to him, and now I feel like a big idiot. Since then I have been wondering if it was a dream or not. I honestly don't know which I would prefer, because if it was real, I feel like a huge douchebag for not giving my tulpa the time of day TO PAY PROPER ATTENTION TO HIM. Especially since it would have been his first time. Since then I haven't heard a word out of him, no matter how much coaxing I have tried. I mean, I did tell him not to talk to me until he feels ready, But the whole thing makes me confused! I really, really am worried now that I might have hurt his feelings.

 

Did I do something wrong? Did it happen? It felt real, especially the head waves. But why didn't I wake up to talk to him? Did I hurt his feelings? Do you think the reason for not trying to talk to me afterwards is because talking took a lot out of him?

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There are a lot of possibilities but I think your best off for now assuming it was him, and explain to him clearly that you feel bad for not waking up, and that you would like him to keep trying whenever he is ready.

 

In the meantime keep on talking and forcing as you have been ( or I'm assuming you have been ^^) and be patient. It could very well be that he's exhausted, or it could be he instead was only able to make that breakthrough because of your half-sedated state. It may very well have severed the connection you had if you woke up properly to talk to him, so don't be so hard on yourself. Be honest. Talk to him. Give it time and you will get there.

 

End of the day we can never know for sure, the only one who can truly find the answer is you, when you can ask him directly. So with that in mind I say just go with the positive assumption that it was him, and move forward from there.

 

Hope this was helpful.

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It's very possible that he was only able to do that BECAUSE you were about to fall asleep. As your mind started to quiet down for sleep the interference fell away, allowing him to contact you that way, if with considerable difficulty. Don't worry about it too much, I seriously doubt he's mad at you. Especially since he probably chose that time on purpose, knowing that could happen.


Current System: Ziya (Formerly Einulf), Mizan, Aura, Dark, Lucia, Rand, Jason, Akira

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