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Typing too much because Vyvanse Vyvanse: Meditation: So, are you basically saying the meditative state is somewhat separate from your direct conscious thoughts such as "oops my thoughts drifted to thinking about XYZ", and more a state you're upholding with different ~mental muscles? Just trying to get a vague idea of what you're saying

Linda: we've been tricked, we've been backstabbed, and we're been quite possibly bamboozled! For real though, that's kinda cool! 😎 Thanksies for the info. 😁

that o is actually from japanese keyboard lol. they use circles to censor things kind of like how we use * for censoring words also thanks it's really like the "don't think, feel" thing. my mind wants things to be so structured and logical and direct and explainable in language but have to really use the master spencer or whoever says that quote to make progress in these things. i think there is room for logical thinking to find way around but for conscious thoughts being like 1% of the brain's functions we really like to try to make it do 99% of the work when you can instead rely on the more subtle but much more powerful other 99% that seems to organize things to just work like magic but is very hard to understand how to control. at least i think i'm making progress on that path to understanding it more and more, my luck usually is when i have a break through it all is for nothing and i am still where i am despite it but this past year has felt different. i don't want to get my hopes up but i feel i'm relatively close to potentially having the improvement curve relative to meditation go up like those exponential curve chart thingies, unless i jinxed it huh weird i didn't know what you ate also depended i tried eating soon after taking it like i have been doing that helps mitigate control of thoughts issue but i was distracted while eating so ate so slowly it was kind of the same as not eating. if i eat before, it sometimes feels like it has too little or no effect i'm not sure. eating immediately after is slightly better but i think the ideal for me is to eat like 30 minutes later. or also like, take half, wait 30 minutes, then eat while taking other half, which is what i tried today and i think what i did the past two days but i took like an hour to eat my oatmeal because i was talking to someone i wish you luck with your increase. hmm

Well, you can't explain it and I don't get it, so - Vyvanse can feel different based on when you eat relative to it and, if you do, seemingly incomprehensible effects based on what the food was/how much you ate etc. - I imagine the only case you can truly experience consistency with is empty stomach and not eating for 60+ minutes after. We just don't worry about it, the difference in really feeling it or not at the 2-3 hour point isn't too big a deal to us. And of course, the time-since-taking-it aspect, but, that should be blatant to you. Meditating in the middle of hour 2 versus hour 6 is not going to be the same experience Anyways, I sure wish we actually felt vyvanse for more than hour 2 through 3. It's disappointing for half of its effects to "wear off" after 4-5 hours, even if some of the other effects stick around the whole day. I do appreciate lack of hunger and such still, but it's really at the point where we're starting to think of that 60-90 minute period as a limited resource.

I'm glad meditation has been working for you. 😊 I think I get what you're saying, you're just braining better. Linda: I tip my metaphorical hat to you. 🎩 My "o"s are beaten. 😁

〇 meditation is something else. for some reason wednesday and yesterday vyvanse didn't make me become possessed with thinking a ton but today is has. i managed to get to a concentrated state temporarily at least though despite it, so that is an improvement. it's not enough to just want to concentrate and not want to think about things. there seems to be substantively some different mechanism that goes into actually letting go of the thinking and concentrating that i don't know how to explain without it sounding like "you can't simply just do it, you have to just do it" i don't have words to describe these other subtle mind actions very easily but it seems related to a lot of the letting go talk related to meditation and buddhism though not in the way i usually think of it when i hear those things. i often have a meditative experience that makes things i've heard many times be reunderstood in a totally new context. there seems to be a difference between "stop thinking so much, start concentrating" and "let go of the thinking and become concentrated" the standard meditation advice of "notice you've become distracted, redirect attention to the meditation object and sustain then repeat" seems like a psyop as the past several months of improvement (well the improvement started about actually a year ago but it's more noticeable the past few months) the several months of improvement i've had recontextualizes how i meditate or what it feels like to do so much it feels kind of like going your whole life writing or drawing by holding a pencil by just gripping it with a fist and then realizing there is a whole different way to hold a pencil that makes writing or drawing much easier but both can be explained with holding pencil with hand to make marks on paper, i don't have words to describe the exact way it is being held and how it is being moved that makes sense to people

Linda: OoO

o

Linda: O

o

Linda: Agreed but fire works make up for it! 😁 🎆 🎇 Edit: not sure if fire works make up for political strife but at least Linda's happy. 😊

not much to be happy about this 4th

Hi, Ice! 😊 Bye, Simmie! 😊 That sounds super metal! 🔥

Cya

Time to get going, I'll see everyone later! 😁👋

giga mint

gm

my cat ears get replaced with spikes and i get a line of spikes like a mohawk

Have a good meditation, TB. 😊 "cut my life into pieces" TB would be very interesting to see, lol.

i hope i can survive some people's last straw turns them into the joker i will turn into emperor "cut my life into pieces" frieza like that short i linked some time ago i'm sure everything will be fine though the world thinks it has to get ready for black frieza but they don't even know what comes next went to youtube because i wanted to find that short again but it isn't in my likes... i forgot to like it. i don't like things often lol, crapppp i don't even know what to type nvm found it wtf is this lol finally time to meditate though

Oh, well, it's good in any context. The surviving was about life overall though

oh, i meant this in the context of problems and solutions to my trc z game, not overall life lol though with life if that's what you thought i meant, uhh. i intend to write a progress report update today or this weekend, but overall i feel pretty good and more well equiped and hopeful to overcome certain challenges, minus the stress and doom feeling of this bill passing. i was really hoping it wasn't and it was a dreaded thing in back of my mind i was hoping it'd just fail, but it passed so now i'm not sure where i am at mentally thank you though that's nice. i'd like to take more walks thank you. I almost feel like doing what i did with the current itteration of my guide, which was take my psychotic ramblings from one sheet, and rewrite them on a new sheet in a more streamlined and organized fashion. i think the current version maybe needs ran through the perhaps-a-normal-human-wrote-this upscale machine again (i'm the machine unfortunately so results are up in the air)

That sounds really nice! 😊 Nightfall disagrees with me, he says any heat is too much, lol.

Just took a pleasant walk around our town. ☺️ We are blessed to live somewhere very walkable with lots of little businesses around. 😁 It's not too hot today but the sun is so bright that it felt really hot anyway! ☀️

That's great to hear Just keep surviving