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〇 meditation is something else. for some reason wednesday and yesterday vyvanse didn't make me become possessed with thinking a ton but today is has. i managed to get to a concentrated state temporarily at least though despite it, so that is an improvement. it's not enough to just want to concentrate and not want to think about things. there seems to be substantively some different mechanism that goes into actually letting go of the thinking and concentrating that i don't know how to explain without it sounding like "you can't simply just do it, you have to just do it" i don't have words to describe these other subtle mind actions very easily but it seems related to a lot of the letting go talk related to meditation and buddhism though not in the way i usually think of it when i hear those things. i often have a meditative experience that makes things i've heard many times be reunderstood in a totally new context. there seems to be a difference between "stop thinking so much, start concentrating" and "let go of the thinking and become concentrated" the standard meditation advice of "notice you've become distracted, redirect attention to the meditation object and sustain then repeat" seems like a psyop as the past several months of improvement (well the improvement started about actually a year ago but it's more noticeable the past few months) the several months of improvement i've had recontextualizes how i meditate or what it feels like to do so much it feels kind of like going your whole life writing or drawing by holding a pencil by just gripping it with a fist and then realizing there is a whole different way to hold a pencil that makes writing or drawing much easier but both can be explained with holding pencil with hand to make marks on paper, i don't have words to describe the exact way it is being held and how it is being moved that makes sense to people

Linda: OoO

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Linda: O

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Linda: Agreed but fire works make up for it! 😁 🎆 🎇 Edit: not sure if fire works make up for political strife but at least Linda's happy. 😊

not much to be happy about this 4th

Hi, Ice! 😊 Bye, Simmie! 😊 That sounds super metal! 🔥

Cya

Time to get going, I'll see everyone later! 😁👋

giga mint

gm

my cat ears get replaced with spikes and i get a line of spikes like a mohawk

Have a good meditation, TB. 😊 "cut my life into pieces" TB would be very interesting to see, lol.

i hope i can survive some people's last straw turns them into the joker i will turn into emperor "cut my life into pieces" frieza like that short i linked some time ago i'm sure everything will be fine though the world thinks it has to get ready for black frieza but they don't even know what comes next went to youtube because i wanted to find that short again but it isn't in my likes... i forgot to like it. i don't like things often lol, crapppp i don't even know what to type nvm found it wtf is this lol finally time to meditate though

Oh, well, it's good in any context. The surviving was about life overall though

oh, i meant this in the context of problems and solutions to my trc z game, not overall life lol though with life if that's what you thought i meant, uhh. i intend to write a progress report update today or this weekend, but overall i feel pretty good and more well equiped and hopeful to overcome certain challenges, minus the stress and doom feeling of this bill passing. i was really hoping it wasn't and it was a dreaded thing in back of my mind i was hoping it'd just fail, but it passed so now i'm not sure where i am at mentally thank you though that's nice. i'd like to take more walks thank you. I almost feel like doing what i did with the current itteration of my guide, which was take my psychotic ramblings from one sheet, and rewrite them on a new sheet in a more streamlined and organized fashion. i think the current version maybe needs ran through the perhaps-a-normal-human-wrote-this upscale machine again (i'm the machine unfortunately so results are up in the air)

That sounds really nice! 😊 Nightfall disagrees with me, he says any heat is too much, lol.

Just took a pleasant walk around our town. ☺️ We are blessed to live somewhere very walkable with lots of little businesses around. 😁 It's not too hot today but the sun is so bright that it felt really hot anyway! ☀️

That's great to hear Just keep surviving

I really like the concept you're going for. It sounds like you've done a ton of work on it! 😊 I look forward to whenever you send that guide. 😁

lol dang. i just imagined you were highly aversive to conflict or drama which political discussions can bring since usually from whatever political alignment you are a part of, people of other alignments can come off as infuriating since context gets lost in the noise and for most people it feels like "i'm for good things and against bad things, why aren't you???" (then switch in and out what constitutes good and bad things based on your political alignment) but it is more complex than that... usually thanks lol, i hope the game system can be fun at least and versatile. i don't want something that is possible lorewise for character to not be possible because gameplay mechanics don't allow it or something, or because scale has to be shrunk down to fit a small map or zone i almost got confused as to how did i post in the future but it was just double page glitch maybe i can send you a copy of guide for trc z.... this weekend or something. maybe it feels like the past few weeks a lot of things have clicked and a lot of subtle issues that bugged me in the back of my mind have been mostly solved

Hehe, that would have been a very long edit. You sure have some very powerful characters to balance. Cool! 😁 You are definitely too nice to be a Trump supporter. 😊 __________ I'm not sure either of us are/will ever define ourselves as left or right, we really just want freedom and happiness for everyone.

I heard a thing that Millennials are bucking the trend of previous generations and are becoming more left-wing as they get older instead of right-wing. As for Zoomers, it seems to me that they are very polarized, either very right or very left with little in between. Random thing: For the longest time I refused to talk about politics of any kind but Chloe started to worry that people thought I was a secret right-winger and/or Trump supporter. 😄

the longer i live the more left i become. i went from social democrat like kyle kulinski, to some vague socialism fully is probably better, to more recently becoming full anarcho communist pilled. though i still like kyle kulisnki and agree with most of his takes, and i feel this current administration is making him become further left than he already was, though i am not totally sure. he generally fights for the same things such as universal health care and general redistribution of wealth through taxing the wealthy and having strong social safety nets, but he does seem far more disillusioned with the system than normal also unrelated, originally was edit to previous post: okay that was going to be much shorter but the purpose changed into me thinking out loud so thanks for your patronage of me expressing my many thoughts in secret hidden journal that will be lost in lotpw past. i don't really expect people to read it. i added a split from what was going to be initial edit to when i started turning into that guy explaining a conspiracy meme gif