Question about Parroting

[King]

Now, let me explain before I ask that I know that generally if I am questioning if I parroted then I most likely did not do so. I also know that it's alright if she "sounds" like me still in my head.

 

However, I often feel like I expect the answer and then Kalinga says/thinks/bamboozles* it, as if I'm formulating the response for her and answering myself. Is this normal in the beginning, when we haven't even gotten vocality down yet?

 

*It's still confusing to think about whether to call it either or. I might just use bamboozling as my term for when we think/talk.

[Guest Anonymous]

If you haven't gotten vocality down yet, odds are that it's not really Kalinga and it's you. That's the simplest answer I can provide. Think of it this way; In your head, there is you, the host, person, guy, I don't know, thinking entity. Your thoughts are proper to you and you probably never felt alienated from those thoughts. When you have those alien thoughts, when you, say, get something you completely did not expect or didn't plan for to happen. To verify that I'm not parroting Inazuma, I ask her a lot of questions that she answers with ease and with stuff only her would ever come up with (as she uses mannerisms I would rather shoot myself before using, and has that unique attitude), I'm not sure HOW you can parrot a non-vocal tulpa to be honest, but if you think you are parroting, one tip I can give you is try not to interfere as much as you can. Try to make your mind clear, sit down a bit, clear your thoughts of all other things and try to have a chat with Kalinga. If you find yourself at an impass where she doesn't say anything, or there's a moment of silence until something ticks in your head and you get the feeling that 'Yes, it IS me' (because you should be aware of how your own mindvoice sounds like), then you might be parroting.

 

Other than that, things can be very vague in your mind.

[King]

I gotcha. Then it's probably me then - beyond head pressures that I got from her when we started*, I've only had one "alien" moment where when I was falling asleep during a forcing session she woke me with a loud crashing noise in my head. I just gotta figure out how to get back to that "blank" state then, I guess.

 

Thanks for the advice!

 

 

 

*We've quit doing those as I got the feeling she was extremely annoyed with them - She even sent me an annoying ear tingle that never ended until we started practicing to let her actual speak)

[Guest Anonymous]

Don't stress it out, man. EVEN if it IS you, you shouldn't worry much. Parroting can be useful, think of parroting like putting on training wheels, important thing is to take off those training wheels. I didn't mean to tell you that you ARE parroting, and didn't mean to bring down anyone with my post. Tulpamancy can take a while to really take its effects, and hey, some days are just bad days, nothing to feel bad about. Just keep up the good work, I've been reading your PR.

[King]

Oh nono, you're fine bud! Trust me, I started off taking everything as 100% fact here because I was still thinking of it as more of a science than it actually is. It's just your post happened to make sense in my head, that's all!