Postscript99 December 20, 2015 Author December 20, 2015 Today while I was forcing, I asked my tulpa what name she would have chosen. The name "Richard" popped into my mind. I don't know if it was my tulpa or not. I understand that gender and name are abstract concepts for someone who doesn't exist physically but it still bothered me more than it should have.
Vos December 22, 2015 December 22, 2015 It's quite possible that your mind was just reaching for the first response available. Try asking this question every few days and see if it's consistent.
Postscript99 January 2, 2016 Author January 2, 2016 Yesterday, during forcing, I tried to listen out for her after narration. Unexpectedly, I heard something like "...torture me. Stop.." accompanied by an oppressively warm and uncomfortable feeling and a presence. I told Lavender that my pessimistic outlook on reality wasn't exactly true. I told her there were little ways that everyone could be happy, and that I didn't bring her to live in a hopeless world, but rather so that we could both find purpose in each other. The warmth seemed to subside, and the presence withdrew. I feel closer to her though, and I think I can sense her listening to me as I think now.
Postscript99 January 14, 2016 Author January 14, 2016 As I spoke to Lavender today, I asked her about something I had seen that day. I could feel resentment, and a pause, followed by "We have nothing more to say to one another." Why is it so difficult for me to understand her emotions when we're so close? There's still such a communication barrier between us. I hope this we can resolve this eventually. I honestly don't want to force her to love me, its just that I really don't know where she's coming from.
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