Jump to content

Wondership setting sail


Exceed

Recommended Posts

Wondership setting sail

Exceed's tulpa report and personal experience

 

Introduction

 

Today I finally had the chance to start with my training.

My 'murrican brothers are in town and they occupy me, as soon as I get home from work. Today, though, I knew they wouldn't come over to my bungalow because they are busy visiting my grandmother. I took the chance, laid down on my couch, put the headphones on and started... stuff.

 

Since this was my first time ever doing something productive with my mind's eye, I had a hard time filtering "intrusive thoughts/images".

I've been using my imagination on a daily basis since I was a little derp but never ever have I used it to imagine something specific.

 

Let's timetravel a bit to the day I learned to know about tulpae: 20.05.2012 (05-20-2012 for you f-ing murricans.)

 

The Plan

 

When I learned about tulpae, I was sceptical at best. Was this whole stuff a troll-scheme? Would I make an idiot out of me, believing in this?

I observed the IRC, read up on other ressources and skimmed through threads all over the forum. Soon, I was more convinced. "This might be possible..."

 

I soon started to plan things. That's what I do. I am ISTJ-personality type.

What would my tulpa be like? How would it look? What would I do with it? Am I ready for this? How am I doing this?

It took me 4 days to properly get the base done. I've got a rough idea on her personality, her looks and the things that would soon be done. I was relatively sure on the matter and felt informed enough to start doing what I was supposed to do.

But not quite.

 

With the following things in mind, I dived headfirst into my first session:

 

  • Tulpa gender: female
  • Tulpa appearance: Yum!
  • Tulpa name: Rebecca

 

Tulpa personality:

 

  • Brave
    • Not easily scared by something
    • Not afraid to stand up for her ideals
    • Acting in spite of possible harm to her body
    • Goes together with stable

    [*]Cunning

    • Can outwit others
    • Skilled in deception
    • Sort of mischievous

    [*]Stable

    • Doesn't change her mind quickly
    • Stays calm even if aggravated, provoked (or trolled)
    • Not very vulnerable to influencing things
    • Supportive; goes together with caring

    [*]Straightforward

    • Always speaks her mind
    • Motivational
    • Uncomplicated to talk to
    • Does sometimes conflict with her cunning part

    [*]Caring

    • Always tries to help
    • Emphatic
    • Loyal
    • Goes well with her stableness

    [*]Optimistic

    • Motivating
    • Doesn't give up easily
    • Goes well with "caring"

    [*]Rational

    • Logical
    • Analyzing
    • Tries to understand things
    • Not all too easy affected by emotions
    • Goes well with straightforward and brave

 

"That is a strong personality, she looks more fragile!"

She will probably deviate accordingly. If not, that's fine with me. She will choose the skin she feels comfortable in. But not Uncle Vernon pl0x, thanx.

 

Future plans

 

I intend to go on adventures with her. No game is better than one's own imagination. I'm a huge Pen and Paper fan for this reason.

Anyway. Since I'll be going to travel to many locations with her and do not intend to walk, we need a vehicle. Flying? Awesome.

 

For this reason, my first exercises will consist of forcing me (and her) a flying wondership. Not that boring stuff with sails and paddles. Ever played WoW? Something like that. I intend on mixing steampunk with magic. That thing would never fly. So I'll add magic. Easy as that, lawl!

I'll use the ship to work on Rebecca, at first. Then, once she is sentient, we can start going on adventures.

 

Remember the "But not quite?"-part of the "The Plan"-section?

 

Day 1

 

As mentioned above, I had spare time today.

Doo-dee-doo, I laid down and started to focus.

I tried really hard to make me a flying wondership. Floating in darkness. No stuff around it. Just the ship.

Sadly, it didn't work as expected. My mind was invaded by a parade of random images and thoughts. The latter I was able to block out but the images kept coming like no tomorrow.

And I know the reason for this. I invited them for over 15 years. No miracle they feel at home in my brain. When I was bored, I usually just let the parade just flow over me, entertaining me.

My imagination is very vivid. I never payed much attention to it but today I realized how detailed the stuff is that I'm seeing. And most everything is original content.

 

For example, this grotesque skull of some beast, that randomly popped up while I thought about using crystals as the powersource of floating ships.

I could see every detail.

The teeth, long and bent, fit to drill into prey and not letting them escape. Ever.

The holes, where teeth where missing. Deep and crumbled. Those teeth don't come off easily.

The eyeholes. Big ones. Probably for preying at night. I could see the holes for the optic nerve.

The skull was narrow but still massive. Probably packed with muscles that could crush your head in an instant. A top-class predator.

It wasn't a tiger or anything earthly, maybe a little inspired by that. It was alien.

And all that detail for just a few seconds before it vanished again. Never to be retrieved. I tried, it was gone.

 

Many of other things flashed before me, but just for a few seconds. I barely got to work on my wondership either. I just can't bring myself to decide on stuff.

And I have problems imagining stuff that is not decided.

For example, Socks wonderland. I don't exactly like it, too much nature, but I can imagine it rather good. For the few seconds it says there. With the glasshouse and Midoris pink hut. The trees and waterz and shiatz.

 

Anyway, this was just my first session and I had fun. Progress will definitely happen.

Plus, I had a talk with Pleeb and he told me some interesting stuff about focus and his experiments with Vitamin-B. I think I'll try that.

 

-End of Report: Day 1-

 

Time: 2h

Total time: 2h

Feel free to fuck up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yo, this isn't a troll scheme. People are idiots on the irc.

 

But seriously. That's doubt talk. If it's one thing tuppers hate, it's doubt. The more you doubt, the longer it takes. Don't be skeptical.

 

I know you are naturally skeptical. Look at it this way, tuppers aren't paranormal. They are a product of one's mind. A hallucination. They are just a branch of your mind. Ergo, they are independent, capable of free will, and have decision making skills. How would you like for your existance to be doubted? Exactly.

 

You just got to believe, man. Treat her as sentient even though she isn't. Yes, you are deluding yourself. Eventually, you'll get to where I am and will be able to ask questions and get responses by head pressure. It's not 100 percent accurate, so don't feel bad when you ask "Do you love me?" and you get no response.

 

And most important, don't ever, ever give up. Giving up is like killing her. Don't stop, don't doubt, and perservere. You'll have her soon enough.

 

And the log looks good, keep it up!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Finally weekend and I get some time to again work on my visualization skills in peace.

 

When I got home from work yesterday I was totally exhausted. I instantly sat down in front of my computer and started browsing, chatting in IRC and thinking about my wondership. I still can't decide on the blueprints...

 

Around midnight I turned my PC off and laid down on the sofa. Long story short: I tried to get things done but I was again totally run over by the intrusive images. I gave up and went to sleep after half an hour. I also had a headache because it was way too warm and I usually forget to drink enough during the day.

 

When I woke up around 11am today, I decided to stay in bed and use the sleepy state of my brain for my training. It worked wonders. I could focus on the wondership way better and got the first thing done: The engine room.

From the beginning I wanted my ship to be powered my a magical crystal. So that was the first thing I got down. A blue-glowing crystal floating in mid-air. [Template] Now my mind started to jump around to get things done. Next up was a gritted floor at around a 3rd of the crystal (from the top), then walls and corridors started forming, in the end, it looked somewhat like this.

 

I liked this and started adding detail: Pipes and cords on the walls, lamps (not really necessary since the crystal emits enough light), transformers, wheels and all that shit. A little steampunky. In the end, I finished the "engine" with adding three rotating rings to the crystal. No, the interior of the rings is rotating, that's a better way of putting it. The rings float around the crystal in equal distance and are chained to the walls. On the interior are smaller crystals which somehow drain the energy from the crystal and transfer them to the actual engines through the chains. I think this is an interesting concept.

 

I was lazy so I drew only one of the rings.

 

I was satisfied with my results and stood up. Rarely felt so fit after standing up.

 

I will do another session in the afternoon and one more in the evening. I feel a lot more motivated, now. I actually managed to get something done and it stays the same in my mind. No changes until now.

 

Time: 1,5 h

Total time: 3,5h


-snip-

 

Thanks for the nice words and motivation :)

I'll remember those words, should I encounter a blockade.

Feel free to fuck up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two more sessions have gone by. I decided to put the personality of Rebecca further up the priority listing.

Meaning: First step of further sessions: Personality, then work on the wondership a little more.

 

My afternoon session consisted on deciding on further blueprinting of the wondership. Somehow, the whole thing has a spaceship-flavor to it. I may have played too much SW:TOR in the past. It is kinda cool, though.

Anyway, the engine room is sorta the center of the ship, behind and below it is the currently empty cargo-room, in the front is now a living/bed room and the cockpit (no work on that until now but it'll be very simple).

 

The evening session right now consisted of me sitting on my bed in the wondership and trying to recall all the traits I have assigned to Rebecca. Didn't go very well, though. Somehow, I had to focus more on the rooms consistency and had little focus for her. This has to change.

I'll try to find out more about meditation/trances. Those intrusive images really piss me off, they got less, though.

 

Time: 2h

Total time: 5,5h

Feel free to fuck up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, work's killing me. I get home late and just fall into bed or get occupied by my brothers.

 

No wonder I get nothing done. Luckily I didn't start to seriously work on Rebecca until now. I know tulpae need attention and I can't give that at the moment.

I want to give her serious treatment and thus I have decided to be patient and wait 'till everything has calmed down and my brothers finally go back to america. Most of the time, rushing things and overloading yourself is a bad thing.

 

In the meantime, I will work on focus/concentration and ways of meditation.

Feel free to fuck up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, work's killing me. I get home late and just fall into bed or get occupied by my brothers.

 

No wonder I get nothing done. Luckily I didn't start to seriously work on Rebecca until now. I know tulpae need attention and I can't give that at the moment.

I want to give her serious treatment and thus I have decided to be patient and wait 'till everything has calmed down and my brothers finally go back to america. Most of the time, rushing things and overloading yourself is a bad thing.

 

In the meantime, I will work on focus/concentration and ways of meditation.

This is why people made narration. I'm having some difficulties visualizing, so I'm using narration to fuel progress brah.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's no need in narrating to something that doesn't exist yet.

I'm taking my time until I know I can give Rebecca the attention she deserves (over an appropriate amount of time).

Feel free to fuck up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's no need in narrating to something that doesn't exist yet.

I'm taking my time until I know I can give Rebecca the attention she deserves (over an appropriate amount of time).

 

Brah, that's the wrong mentality. She exists the moment you start forcing her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...