New. Lots of questions

[RieruKyuubi]

When I was in sixth grade was when I first noticed her. She introduced herself and then never went away. Her name is Rieru. She would be tough on me when I was doing something stupid, she would encourage me when I needed it, she would protect me emotionally from anything I needed. We are incredibly close and until I found the term tulpa I had no idea how to describe her or our relationship.

 

I'm not sure if it's weird (I've been skimming trying to find answers) but I fell in love with her.. Closing over that fact though, I had a huge life changing event 2 years ago and around that time she went "dormant" like she's still there but.. Not? If I try really hard I can get her to bubble up to consciousness but all she says is "I'm so tired" or "you'll be ok" and then I feel all warm and comfortable and then she fades out again.

 

I have no idea what I could've done wrong. I'd do anything to get her back. I've tried everything I can think of. I've been trying to find other people who have someone like her and tulpas make the most sense, the more I learn about them, the more she makes sense to me.

 

I still haven't found any answers and to be honest I'm desperate. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get her back?

[Zaya]

"The signposts have fallen, unblazed trails lie before us.

Do not be greedy to gobble up the fruits of foreign fields.

Do you not know that you yourselves are the fertile acre which bears everything that avails you?

Yet who today knows this?

Who knows the way to the eternally fruitful climes of the soul?

You seek the way through mere appearances, you study books and give ear to all kinds of opinion.

What good is all that?

There is only one way, and that is your way.

You seek the path?

I warn you away from my own.

It can also be the wrong way for you.

 

May each go his own way."

 

What this means is that you know Rieru better than anyone else here, you know their existence better than anyone on earth, and ultimately, you are their only friend in the world.

You can ask the opinion of others, but no matter what you read or act upon, only your effort and care can truly bring them to you.

 

Zaya and I feel for your plight, if that means anything. But the only advice I can really give you is to pour your soul into it, and try everything.

To be honest, its not uncommon to see Tulpamancers having feelings for the others in their system, so unless you had some major fallout, I don't see why that would be a problem.

But then again, you know them best.

 

Let them know you care, and you need them back with you.

Pour your soul into them, and they will respond.

[timethief]

You might want to check out this exercise. From what I've seen, many have found it useful to pull their tulpas out of similar "dormant" states.