Importance of Visualization with Narration?

[Snakebite]

First of all apologies if this was asked before, but I looked through a lot of guides with no answer to my concerns, so now I am looking to you guys for help.

 

Today was my very first attempt at tulpa forcing and it... Kinda ended disastrously. I found I simply couldn't visualize and narrate at the same time, but I'm also unsure if it's simply because I'm over thinking everything? Every time I tried to visualize him in my mind (for now simply as a flaming orb without a wonderland) I couldn't form coherent sentences, and whenever I just tried to talk aloud to him without visualization, I started to stress that I was just talking to myself and not to him because I wasn't actively thinking of him... Which then led to me stressing I wasn't doing it right etc. In the end I only got a few words in before I decided to try again tomorrow. Although, afterwards, regardless of my previous concerns, I just quickly told him I couldn't concentrate today and so I would continue tomorrow because I wanted what was best for his development. As I was saying this I felt a strange rush of sadness (which could have been me but I don't know why I would be feeling that way?) Either way I asked if it was him, and if it was I told him not to be sad, I just want him to be happy.

 

ANYWAY back to my question: How important is visualization during narration at the start?

 

As long as you believe you're talking to them, is that good enough? Or do you always have to be picturing them in your mindseye? I have no problem visualizing him to begin with but then trying to maintain that while actively talking is when I start to lose it. It's hard to explain... So I hope you know what I mean. My visualization is fine; every night before I fall asleep I create stories in my head to lull me to sleep. Basically putting myself in different scenarios then creating other characters and their dialogue etc, so that's fine. But for whatever reason I can't seem to do that when narrating. Maybe I'm scared of parroting/puppeting? I'm not sure what it is but I can't seem to hold focus on his temporary form when trying to talk to him... Is that bad?

 

Thanks for your help! Sorry it's kinda half rant, I just discovered tulpas a few days ago and have since read many guides and as much information as possible before I decided to create Dante, but now I'm wondering if I'm psyching myself out and over thinking everything on my first day? It's not rare for me to do that so that's why I'm looking to you more experienced tulpamancers for advice! :)

[Vos]

If you're focusing too hard on the orb and you're not used to this much concentration, yes, it's likely going to be difficult for you to narrate at the same time. With narration, part of it is getting into the habit of seeing your tulpa as a separate person, so it's not uncommon for it to feel like you're just talking to yourself in the beginning. Visual representations might help you direct your thoughts, but they're definitely not required. You said that you were only able to throw a few words in before you gave up for the day, and that makes me think that you didn't give yourself enough time to relax and get used to what you were doing. Next time, try not to give up so easily. All you need to do is direct your thoughts to them, so yes, believing that you're talking to them is fine. Keep in mind that a tulpa doesn't even need to have a form.