Nagi's Diary

[glint4]

Now that I am more sober, I can assure myself that the previous post was just hypnagogic hallucination. Except it's not the shadow people attacked me, my kawaii waifu gone berserk on me. I didn't get a heart attack, sadly.

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Day 14(8/20)

Awkward Silence

 

Parrot week's over. I spent a whole weekday parroting her. What her response to stuff, what she'd do to things, how she reacts to stuff. I think that prepared her on a lot of stuffs. Now I'm not sure what to do anymore. Today I just went back and forth on my business while passive forcing her following me the whole day. She must be bored.

 

I didn't talk much, I'm not really big fan of talking. I'm not sure what to talk about with her so even when active forcing her I just blankly stared at her. I was just thinking if she could deviate to whatever she becomes, I could as well be a stranger to her. Stupid thinking. Need to change that mindset tomorrow. Sorry, Nagi! You're not sleeping with me tonight. Just stand there blankly staring at the wall until I feel better.

 

Some report on her progress:

- I heard her talking for the first time. Her voice pitch was a wee bit higher than I originally planned. Forgot what single word she said because I was just woke up at the time... so... no record there.

- I heard her talking again, when I was about to sleep. I visualized her face when I was falling asleep, hoping I'd get a dream about her. Instead of her voice I heard a dude's voice. Dude said "No, don't do it!" about 3 times. It's either she's using my mind voice or it's not her at all. Like, a random thought you get when you're falling asleep.

[glint4]

Day #28(9/4)

Just reporting in

 

I don't really have any progress to report, so just post to say I'm alive. I've been forcing all the time. I usually do passive forcing throughout my daily life, and do active ones during evening until/or when I'm about to sleep.

 

Yesterday I had a dream where I was a detective chasing a criminal, when he got really far I called Nagi, and she gave a sniper support fire. She's a crap shot though. In the same dream I also got lucid and I got to talk with her. I told her it was a dream and she was a bit surprised. we talked a bit about tulpamancy until I told her to try flying. Which she did, and took me with her to the space and back again.

 

When I read other people's PRs said their tulpas moved or changed the first moment of creation, I got discouraged that mine didn't. Which was the reason I stopped the first time. I thought all the movement of my tulpa was my parroting, or intrusive thoughts. Now I just don't care. I just talk to her and instead of waiting for response, I expect what her response would be. Even I parrot her talking which feels really natural for me. I'm very skeptical about the result, but eh, whatever. It's the journey that matters anyway.

[glint4]

Day #40(9/15)

Wonderland Expansion

 

Hey.

 

It's been awhile since I had Nagi. Most of the time I just impose her following me in real life. I was thinking about expanding our wonderland. We live in a small-ish apartment, it must be boring for her to be there all the time when I don't think about her.

 

I'm thinking about the same island I had in my daydream story. It's a small fictional island with some artificial expansion(for a bit futuristic look) somewhere in Pasific. I call it Mikazuki(crescent moon) Island. Just like Nagi's name, I picked that just because I like the sound.

 

Fun fact: I just googled the meaning of nagi in japanese, turns out it means "calm" which fits perfectly with her personality.

 

So I took her out. We went around the island, played on the beach, took some lunch, and at the end I took her to some clothing store. I guess she's also bored with that maid getup all this time. I just told her to pick whatever she likes while I kind of suppressed my expectation. She picked a white long sleeved white shirt with black trousers. Not casual at all. As expected from her... Wait, what? *about to punch my unconscious*