Way out

[00101]

I would like to ask any talking tulpa's thoughts on the matter of their creator having the capability to more or less kill them without provocation or recourse at any time. More specifically how would/does that affect the developing relationship between them and their creator. I feel kind of bad that if in the off chance my tulpa and I don't get along I can't just walk away from the relationship without basically killing her. I'm also a little worried that the fact that I plan for a lot of different scenarios, such as if we end up not being able to stand each other's company, is going to affect how she perceives me during this early developmental period. I don't think I'd feel great about becoming friends with someone with the hanging sword of damocles overhead. I also don't think I'd exactly appreciate that they created a course of action to kill me if they don't like me. Don't get me wrong, I don't really foresee the need to dissipate her, but I can't help but know that the option is always there. And she'll always know too. That worries me.

[GreenCore]

Well see, your looking at this the wrong way, you don't want to have these thoughts because if you do they could linger into your mind while developing your tulpa, and that would harm their personality. First off, its very hard to make a tulpa hate you, and its ALOT harder to make them "want" to kill you, I believe they can't kill you, but can hurt you mentally (Someone correct me on that), But all the same you'll like your tulpa and your tulpa will like you. Don't worry about it.

[00101]

I guess I should clarify what I meant by saying that it worries me. I'm not worried about them trying to kill me or anything. I am, however, worried about some lingering resentment about more or less holding her life in my hands 24/7 or about thinking about how to go about getting rid of her.

---

Forgive me for sort of frivolously bumping this, but I'm having issues articulating my exact feelings on the subject. I think this here will better explain what I'm feeling and why I'm worried. I'm a person who likes to see all his options. I'm also a person who likes to have lots of options. I'm worried that the fact that I acknowledge dissipating her is an option in the first place and that on some levels I'm glad to have the option will negatively affect our budding relationship.

[QB2]

It's not like you could not have such control.

It's life. For a tulpa. Just another one of life's principles. You know the sun rises and sets, they know that they're perfect and immortal until something happens to you.

They may idly think about it sometimes... but nothing more.

[Chupi]

I've seen what happened when others tried to dissipate tulpae -- JD1215 (Maya) and glitchthe3rd (Saria and the other one whose name slips my mind at the moment). In two cases, the tulpa didn't die but entered a limbo sort of state, sometimes "frozen" and sometimes running but cut off from the host. In the remaining case, the tulpa did apparently die after being entirely forgotten about for a long enough period. Either way sounds really unpleasant for the tulpa, a long slow death (or something worse) that I wouldn't wish on anyone, even if we didn't get along.

 

I've promised my tulpa I will never try to kill her under any circumstances. Any differences we have, I'll be happy to work through with her. I also welcome any possible safeguards that would make her harder to dissipate. Only one I've thought of so far is to have more than one tulpa; that way they could probably feed each other attention and keep each other going, even if I were to attempt to dissipate one for some reason -- not that I think I ever would, just to help remove any potential worry.

 

As for OP's request to hear from tulpae: My tulpa says this hasn't affected our relationship, and that it's not something she really thinks about. The promise not to try to dissipate her means a lot to her, and she says she trusts me with her life. She says that early in development she never thought about it because I always gave her so much love and care.

 

Aside/ramble: I'm not so sure that I always will have the power to dissipate her. Given what I've heard from some people being able to fully switch places with their tulpa, and stuff from the multiples community, I see a tulpa (fully formed at least) as another consciousness about on par with the host's. Switching places ("fronting") is common with multiples, and one mind can even forcefully seize control, though it's generally discouraged due to the trust issues it causes. Additionally, glitchthe3rd reports his tulpae getting so used to doing possession that they don't need anything more than his permission to take control (and they only require his permission out of courtesy to him).

 

If this is so, there's no reason my tulpa couldn't over time (obviously a long time) come to have a stronger will than my own. At this point she would be practically impossible for me to dissipate unless she wants to go. And being the one with stronger will, I don't see why she wouldn't be able to forcefully take control and potentially even dissipate me. (Then again, if she does get to be the stronger of us, I trust her not to do anything nasty to me.)

 

...notes:

-Tesseract and WreckingFist are the ones I know of who've switched places for short periods (I mean to the point of host actually becoming tulpa for the duration of the switch, not just full-body possession)

-there was a guy on the IRC some months ago (goldosmith -- NOT the Goldsmith who's on it now) who said he created a tulpa back in high school and switched places with him for a few years because he had no will to live

-back in the /mlp/ threads, there was a guy (generally considered troll then, but now I'm not so sure) who claimed to be a tulpa who switched places with and dissipated a host who wanted to commit suicide -- said he still has and can view the old host's memories but doesn't feel emotional attachment to or ownership of them

[00101]

Hmm. Got to admit, that's more than slightly disconcerting. On the bright side, it seems my worries were not all that bad.