My first Tulpa. Keeping a Journal

[TP_Science]

Day 1:

 

Managed to create a basic Wonderland. Mostly white void, mountain-like shapes in the distance, wooden house. Managed to force an image of my Tulpa too. not a particularly consistant one, but an image nonetheless. Called her Em. She's rater short most of the time, hair's massively inconsistant, but her clothing is always some sort of dress, usually green or blue. not quite able to make out her face yet, but considering it's day 1 I'd say this is decent progress. She's also demonstrated the ability to fly without any apparent means of elevation or propultion, so that's nice. Mostly it's just hovering though. She hasn't said anything yet, but she has nodded and shaken her head a couple times in response to my questions.

 

She apparently seems to think she's coming along quite nicely (I asked and she gave me the thumbs up). She also seems to have chosen to have her hair short for the time being. It's only been about 4 hours since I started work on her, so I think this is going very well. She doesn't seem to have a personality yet, so now, I'll be working on that.

 

Nevermind, seems she had one. A basic one though, it's only been about 5 mins since I wrote the last paragraph. She seems to be very playful, and has already given herself another ability. She can now teleport. I'm gonna have to be ready for her playing any pranks for now. She also seems to have a voice now too. Not getting any full sentances, in fact she's only said about 10 words so far, but she's still doing great. Since we obviously can't switch yet, if she has anything to say to you guys, I'll be quoting her.

 

Em seems to have just realised that her name is "me" backwards. I didn't do that on purpose, it was supposed to be a shortening of Emerald, due to her dress being green when I first started forming her, (clever, I know) but she seems to be having a lot of fun with the idea.

 

It's now about 4:30 where I live, and decided to try the "Build a hut with your Tulpa" thing. Emerald seems to have decided she's silver-age Superman now, and has a third power. She can shapeshift very easily, and go back again just as easily. She turned her hands into hammers.

 

We've done about half the hut. Here's how we've done it for the base and walls. Emerald holds it from the top by flying, while I hammer the nails in. We've done a decent job so far, if I do say so myself. Oh, and we took a break for a moment to watch some youtube, to check if she could recieve external stimulus (spoiler alert: she can through my eyes, mostly), and even she seemed to know the new transformers is gonna be bad. An ad for it came up.

 

Roof's finished. We haven't put it on yet, but it's in one piece. Em also seems to think the Wonderland needs a bit of redecoration. I'll be sorting that after the hut. Also, I just told Em what I'm doing. She says hi.

 

Door's finished, and in place. All that's left is putting the roof on, and painting. It's a tiny, wooden hut, but considering this is my first day of tulpamancy, I think it went shockingly well. Her thoughts are only vaguely distinguishable from mine, though, so anything more advanced than meetings in the Wonderland are more than likely beyond our current reach. She's also got a more defined face now. Small nose, near constant smile, kinda large ears. She hasn't quite decided on eyes yet. She seems to be deciding between blue, green, and blank. She's only tried blue and blank a few times though, so I think she'll be going green though. Can't be sure, we thought the American Government would be making a step towards "going green" but we all know how that went. 

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH.

 

No joke, her immediate reaction to me thinking that. I've asked her to not rummage around in my memories without permission, now.

 

The roof's on. I decided to try and jump, so Em would catch me, Sonic 3 style. It kinda worked. She caught me, and I managed to hammer the roof on properly. The added weight did cause us to sway a bit, so the roof has a rather large hole in it now. Seems she can hear the world now, too. Turns out she likes at least one song I like, Glass Animals' The Other Side of Paradise.

 

Been about half an hour. Up until now I could only keep the wonderland and Em coherent in my mind with my eyes closed, but now I can, albeit faintly. It's not imposition, it's not even  a clear difference between her thoughts and mine, but it's progress.

 

Bit of context for the next bit. I live with my mother and my younger sister. My sister just went round to the corner shop to grab some milk and ice cream, so now's the perfect opportunity to give a second test to Emerald's ability to access my senses. A taste test.

 

Apparently that joke wasn't funny enough for Emerald, but it's my Journal, so I'm leaving it in for any bad pun appreciators (more than likely just me in the future, several times) to enjoy.

 

She loves ice cream.

 

That should be all for today. I'll be seeing you tomorrow for day two.

[Sachiko]

You made more progress in one day than I did in 4! Congrats on dedicating so much of your time to your tulpa! 4 hours in a day is quite the accomplishment!

[TP_Science]

You made more progress in one day than I did in 4! Congrats on dedicating so much of your time to your tulpa! 4 hours in a day is quite the accomplishment!

 

Thanks. Also, quick update, Em really likes Coca Cola. Currently experiencing the side effects of drinking a can of it as fast as possible. Note to self, never do that again.

[TP_Science]

Day 2:

 

It's 11am as I write this paragraph. Last night's dreams were kinda normal for me. I can't remember too much from them, except that Em was there. Can't quite remember what she did though. Oh, and considering her love of food so far, the only thing she doesn't like that I've eaten since her creation was cherries.

 

Yesterday we also practiced a bit more with our senses. She's very good at using my eyes and ears. Taste is something she's not great at using, but she has massive celebrations when she tastes something (except the cherries). She's never managed to use smell or touch yet, but I reckon it shouldn't be too long until she manages them at least once. 

 

Also tried imposition. As you could probably guess by the fact Em's only just a day old, it didn't work. Didn't even get the faintest trace of her. Well, there's always later for this sort of thing. Let's keep this as a mental exercise. I'll keep trying.

 

It's now 11:30. Beginning to realise how poorly I timed this. My year's exam week at school starts literally tomorrow, and, of course, continues until Friday. Gonna need some serious concentration over the next week. Plus side, after that we take a trip to Lincoln to watch Spiderman Homecoming. Well, we could have seen Pirates of the Carribean 5 or Wonder Woman, but Wonder Woman's apparently only half decent, and I refuse to pay money to Disney for a Pirates of the Carribean movie, so that just kinda leaves Spiderman. Wish me luck guys, I feel like we'll both need it.

 

12:15. I've decided to try playing videogames to see if Em has any input. My goal for this upcoming week is to have at least some sort of a net gain in terms of Em's convincingness. After the upcoming week, I'll have about 9 weeks of relaxation where Em can develop as much as we like. Hey, we might even get imposition down in that time. We'll have to wait and see.

 

1:20. I played some Serious Sam. Seems Em is afraid of frogs. She transformed into a ball and hid when the Marsh-Hoppers showed up.

 

1:50. In a short while, we're going to be playing videogames with my friend. This could be some practice for me talking and mindspeaking at the same time.

 

4:40. Em seemed to enjoy the extra company, even if my friends never acknowledged her. Only thing of note is the fact that besides Em, all I could think of was the Soviet Army dancing to Hard Bass.

 

5:00. Watched "history of the entire world, i guess". Em and I are both getting bored, and Em wants food. Time for dinner, methinks.

 

5:40. Ate dinner. It was a ready meal, didn't take too long. I've now found something Em likes even more than Ice cream. She really likes gravy. If anyone makes an Ed Edd n Eddy joke in the replys, I'll be wishing I could Hi-five you.

 

6:05. We're bored agaim. If anyone has any ideas for fun things to do with a tulpa who's currently restricted to the wonderland, then could you post them in the replys? going to play more videogames. Ones without frogs.

 

7:00. Still practicing imposition. Nothing yet. Beginning to doubt myself as to whether she exists or i completely made this up, and she doesn't even exist. 

 

7:05. I'm quitting. All my friends think it's stupid, my sister thinks it's stupid, and my mother both doesn't believe in this kinda stuff, or know I'm trying it. She'd probably think it's stupid, too. Beginning to think that my brain just tried to simulate what I'd heard about Tulpas as an actual thing.

 

Sorry if anyone here was impressed, or liked my potential. I just don't think I have the focus, dedication, or belief to make a tulpa. Beginning to believe they don't even exist at all.

 

I'll be leaving the account up, just in case anyone has anything to say, but I won't be posting anything. All these two days have proved to me is that I'm incapable of creating a Tulpa. Sorry if anyone's disappointed. And if there's anyone who is disappointed in me, it's me.

[Vampire]

Two days is a really short period to give up. Is there anything in particular that is driving you towards that decision?

 

And of course your relatives wouldn't approve, general society doesn't view hearing voices as anything close to normal. I wouldn't use that as a driving point to saying it must be fake.

[tulpa001]

Shouldn't have told your friends. It is impressive that you managed such fast progress without a full commitment behind it. Impressive and curious. Especially given you have been reporting really strong results.

 

They don't exist at all? Hmmm. That's not a realistic belief. I'd call you crazy if you actually believed that without reason.