Star visits another World

[Flopsi99]

Well then...,

 

since my last post... a _LOT_ has changed. Which is actually the reason why its been so long since I wrote here.

 

First of all, everyone who has even only took a glimpse at this report would know that I usually go for a lot of stylizing, bold text, underlining in my texts, and that was a lot of work, but from now on I'll stop doing that for 2 reasons.

 

1) It's a big commitment to write a big article all the time which takes forever and demotivates me to continue doing them.

2) I see that noone is doing it besides me either and I have actually been told that it's kinda weird and doesn't need to be.

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Well then how do I start expressing myself here.

I can be most straight forward and say I have become a slob who doesnt know how to keep himself to a scedule and miscalulates almost every step lately.

 

1) I have been missing weeks worth of active forcing sessions, because I just fall asleep during the day and wake up way too late for anything in the evening.

2) The other... more understandable (?) reason is that I have gotten myself into a relationship, which leads to me rather talking to the person in question than to Star.

3) Another thing is that, including a relationship and a lot of strenghening friendships in my reallife I am out of the house almost every single weekend and I just feel... awkward to leave "the group" to sit in a room all by myself to focus on Star, I talked to the people there and they are fine with it and find it reasonably important but I can't get myself to do it at someone else's place somehow.

 

At first Star got really mad at me for missing out on forcing time and time again.

Now she just seems to idle and accept it... to be honest that's even more demotivating.

 

Also I've been dealing with random depression lately which have been coming up from nowhere. 

(I am pretty sure they are related to something in my past, but there is so much I couldn't pinpoint one thing)

 

Also since months now, I am just in a weird idle state between healthy and sick, basicly always having some throat-ache for like 3 days, some fever over the weekend, slight common cold for 4 days... It's been gnawing on me.

 

Obviously all of that is slowing me down so much that I barely force anymore and that makes me even sadder, since I was having steady improvement with Star.

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To put it short, my friendships are getting better, giving me less time while my bodily and mental health is decreasing giving me less motivation to do something.

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Re-Reading this what I am about to post sounds a lot like just random whining... I hope I can somehow make clear that it's not that. I want to continue and I'll try to get back into it, I am trying to give my best to stay positive, but a lot is hindering me and I'd love if anyone would get to me and maybe link me some stuff they found that helped in some similar situations or maybe just talk to me (PM, Reply, if anyone wants to I can link my steam/skype/discord/whatever available) or atleast just not be disapointed. This can kinda be seen as another example of how life might throw rocks in your way I guess.

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Actually putting some real "Progress Report" value into this could include the following:

 

-Star can still not talk, but I have somehow been able to recognise her answers to questions from time to time, she is also able to tell me stuff by just general body language I guess and for simple yes and no, she can just nod or shake her head, but if my visualisation is really bad again I also gave her 2 HUGE wooden signs with one meaning yes and the other meaning no, which he can hold up to tell me.

 

-I improved the wonderland/dreamscape/whatchamacallit to be more than just 1 room in the nowhere, I actually put some effort in it and its not hard for me to recall it in detail now.

 

-My visualisation still sucks but I became really good at working with what i've got, to the point where I can weirdly immerse myself really well without actual visuals.

 

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Thanks for reading.

 

-Florian

[Lucilyn]

1) I have been missing weeks worth of active forcing sessions, because I just fall asleep during the day and wake up way too late for anything in the evening.

 

How can you wake up "too late" for tulpa-forcing? You can do that in a pitch black room with no sound... Actually that's preferable for some people. But you can do it anywhere as long as you can focus on your tulpa (ie not while driving or socializing - you can talk to them at any time later, but while working on vocality you need a little more focus dedicated to them). Don't get caught up in bad habits, everything is a lot more flexible than you think! Think of all the amazing things people have done with really limited resources, surely you can find more than enough time to force your tulpa here and there. And when Star's vocal it'll be waaaay easier to "force" her with less dedicated focus, because at that point it's really just interaction not forcing. 'N you can talk to her wherever, even while driving or when you're not doing anything else at a party or something.

 

2) The other... more understandable (?) reason is that I have gotten myself into a relationship, which leads to me rather talking to the person in question than to Star.

 

Congrats, hope it goes well! Tulpas can accompany you even to places and times that a significant other can't though, like, I dunno.. When you're alone and having a hard time at work or something, or even during a (minor) surgery and stuff. So I wouldn't say there's a reason to stop forcing her altogether!

 

3) Another thing is that, including a relationship and a lot of strenghening friendships in my reallife I am out of the house almost every single weekend and I just feel... awkward to leave "the group" to sit in a room all by myself to focus on Star, I talked to the people there and they are fine with it and find it reasonably important but I can't get myself to do it at someone else's place somehow.

 

Congrats again on a good social life! A lot of tulpamancers are at least a little lacking in that department, and those that aren't tend to have a little less time to spend with their tups. But you always have when you come home for the day, or when you're otherwise alone. And when your tup's developed enough you can really talk to them whenever. Like, Lumi learned to do imposition by having Reisen Tewi and Flandre walk with him between classes at college. Also sometimes they sat with him during lecture classes too. See, you can do that sort of stuff whenever! It just takes a little dedication at the start to get your tulpa ready for those scenarios.

 

At first Star got really mad at me for missing out on forcing time and time again.

Now she just seems to idle and accept it... to be honest that's even more demotivating.

 

This is really common yeah, Lumi gets depressed about it sometimes. We don't mind being inactive but sometimes he gets sad he doesn't spend more time with us, because it's potential time we could've been happy or having fun, in his words. But I still don't mind, I just appreciate all the time I do get. Buuut it doesn't hurt to spend more time with your tulpa if you feel like that. Again I'm sure you can find bits of time here and there. I don't know how much trouble you have just focusing on her, but even just 10-15 seconds of attention at a time multiple times a day is way better than nothing at all. In fact for some people that sort of long-term consistency is way more useful than intermittent sessions. Like, Lumi would probably do better with that, lol. We're working on being more consecutively-active recently.

 

Also I've been dealing with random depression lately which have been coming up from nowhere. 

(I am pretty sure they are related to something in my past, but there is so much I couldn't pinpoint one thing)

 

Also since months now, I am just in a weird idle state between healthy and sick, basicly always having some throat-ache for like 3 days, some fever over the weekend, slight common cold for 4 days... It's been gnawing on me.

 

Well a long time ago Lumi found out just how important it is to get all the right vitamins and nutrients your body requires for your general well-being, and now I can't think of anything else when people mention those sorts of slog-y feelings. You can get like bottles of gummy vitamins from grocery stores that have a tooooon of stuff it's really easy to miss in your diet (or lifestyle, with Vitamin D) and not dangerous to take extra of (as long as you just take the recommended one or two daily). I really really recommend that stuff. Don't even have to be very specific, just like "Adult gummy vitamins" multi-colored chewy things are hard to go wrong with. Oh, they're called multi-vitamins I guess, but I was just saying multi-colored ones are alright..

 

Anyways, exercise and diet are the huge-est things that affect a person like that. Obviously good exercise is always a good thing for all sorts of problems, physical AND mental. So like.. that's up to you. Diet is also up to you, but gummy vitamins sure are a useful supplement when you don't exactly know what might be wrong. If you think your diet is really really good, you don't have to take them, and if you think it's just pretty good, you could take them in lesser (like 1 instead of 2) doses or less often, like every few days or even once a week or something.

 

 

Yeah that's about it for advice, but take the stuff about spending time with Star doubly seriously because it's my response to some of your other problems too. Otherwise good work on progress and I still hope you guys end up happy together! I believe in Star to be motivated enough not to be complacent with inactivity. There's way too many things to do and fun to have even for a tulpa, and they don't require sitting still in the dark for an hour at a time to do. But you do need that initial progress to give her something to work with! After that she can practically come with you places while imposed if necessary, or at least you can just talk for a moment a bunch of times throughout the day, it's really not so hard once they're vocal, but until then ya gotta put in the effort!

[Flopsi99]

She likes it rough!

Beeing smacked all night long!

 

Now, now, calm down. I am not going to tell you some weird tale about preferences of the adult level. (plz go eazy modo on me)

 

What I really mean is general interactions, basicly what fills our daily forcing sessions most lately.

 

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Now what does that really mean, and why and what is even the point of this post?

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Star has become... very lazy over the last couple of times I wasn't able to force with her (which has been since last friday, which is a small success for myself).

But Star, THE Star Butterfly shouldn't, no wouldn't be lazy, right? She is an interdimensional adventurer basicly, she can't sit around in a corner all day.

 

So build upon the believe that she is adventurous but something is holding her back, combined with my held back desire of action in my life and finished up with the one PRs i have read (I don't remember the tulpaforcers name sadly, he had a dude falling down the stairs .gif as his profile picture) I decided to put lots of action without the danger of pain into my mind.

 

And she seems to approve of this greatly.

 

I am not going to bore anyone with the exact details of what we do sometimes, or adventures I have written down after forcing (Unless someone wants to know about it) but you can imagine it a little bit like mixing my favorite games (Like Mario / Zelda titles) with Dragon Ball - esque fighting. Or even fighting without any special theme somewhere in our wonderland or some other made up place.

 

- And we have never laughed that much before together. She isn't even vocal yet but these moments have brought us closer a great chunk!

(I can visually remember riding/bouncing up the mountain on "bobombs battlefield" (Mario 64) on the chainchomp i've freed and tamed)

 

 

We actually fight ourselfs a lot in these aswell, and oftentimes we get fairly compedetive, so we both won already and got to a tie by destroying the world i made for that day... welp, these times are especially fun for us. 

(Our last "fight" was a compedetive patty cake game, in which the one who messes up gets to be punched freely, that night I reallized that she is a lot better at patty cake than I am...)

 

It might be a bit too extreme, and a lot of people would get bored of this, and I know I will too, but until vocality this might be our favorite way to interact.

 

-Flopsi99

 

((Really pls go easy on that headline, it's what motivated me to write this xD)

[Lucilyn]

Turbo Nuclear Butterfly Blast!

 

I don't mean to ruin your visualization, but you definitely can't tame the chain-chomp in Mario 64, freeing it just plays a quick cutscene where it breaks open the cage with a star and jumps out of the map. Unless you just visualized it going differently and cooler!

[Flopsi99]

Turbo Nuclear Butterfly Blast!

 

I don't mean to ruin your visualization, but you definitely can't tame the chain-chomp in Mario 64, freeing it just plays a quick cutscene where it breaks open the cage with a star and jumps out of the map. Unless you just visualized it going differently and cooler!

 

First of all, since she sadly isn't vocal yet, there is sadly no announcing her attacks, which would be INCREDIBLY COOL but I gotta wait for that to happen.

 

Another thing is, sure. You could go by the laws of the games, but the more open you design everything, the more possibilitys you have. I could just try to get you the whole story of what happend that day, even though I said I wouldn't... I guess a bit of story time wouldn't hurt though. 

 

This is pretty much exactly what I wrote to a friend of mine just after finishing:

 

So Star is a little down for me skipping so often with her, that she was basicly depressed and pissed and didnt wanna do anything .

 

But I really really wanted her to be happy regardless.

 

So what i did was took her scissors and opened a rift to mario 64 hub world and then dragged her to the castle, then threw her into the bobomb battlefield painting,

we arrived there and she still didn't wanna move on her own so I threw her from the start point into the teleport flower field and made my way there aswell with a tripple jump / wall jump by the closed gate.

 

Then i found her sitting there still pissed and said:"Come one, i did so much to you, its your turn" and she just punches me in the face and I fly all the way back to the chain chomp which would almost have chomped me if I didnt dodge it, but I felt she liked the show, so I jumped on top the chomp and started riding it.

 

Then i cut the chain and rode it to her, she was a lot happier already jumping onto the chomp with me, we rode him up the entire mountain spiral thing, then we just let the chomp eat king bobomb and then together grabbed the chain and did a mario64-bowser like spinning move and threw him in the sky

 

The 2 enemys exploded into a firework and then their 2 power stars spawned. I instantly grabbed Star's hand and boost-jumped us onto the power stars which turned us-themed  and they took off to the star-watch-sphere-thing of rosalina, which was completally dark again.

 

So we rush to the first observatory and basicly team-play speedrun the entire first star. By that i mean we skipped the fence, skipped the pipe luma, did some bullet-bill manipulation to skip the "2D" part and then flew straight into the petey egg (which counted as 2 hits, instantly starting the main boss phase)

 

But when we finished the boss we didnt know who should get the star so we had a Dragon-Ball-esque sword fight that lasted until we colapsed one of her energy attacks and got sucked into a black hole that puked us back out at our dreamscape

 

Aswell as I'll throw some more detailed information in here that I also told my friend.

 

After defeating the boss she just landed the super hero landing with her sword (still bloody) out and then looked at me and I knew we have to fight for this powerstar

 

Basicly the end was she was charging something like a genkidama and I saw it was instable magic so I took my sword and threw it into it and then it collapsed and sucked us in xD

 

We basicly both landed head first in the beach behind the house and then when we got out we jumped at each other and hugged so hard the shockwave of the collision blew the sand under us away and then it flushed back burrying us to our throats in sand and we just laughed xD

 

I then raised us out and then she bro fisted me out of the forcing session

All I can say is it was extremally fun! 

(And I hope not too cringy to read, also ALL of this was rushed and written down in some minutes without much attention to grammar or similar so please excuse that)

-Flopsi99

[Lucilyn]

it's not like you're writing a story for others to read, it's just you and your tup having fun. Nothing in your imagination/wonderland is "real" so whether someone just hangs out with their tulpas or goes on adventures, all that matters is that they enjoyed themselves, not how realistic or un-silly it was. I bet Star will definitely appreciate all the fun you had later on too!

[Flopsi99]

Star now did it.

She pretty much messed up my plan on recreating my wonderland in games like minecraft or software like blender...

 

By beeing the most spontanious i've seen her act ever, in the most amazing way I've seen ever.

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I was thinking like "Hey star, should we get a music room?" [i asked this because I now force 90% of the time using random music I like]

I got a strong positive reaktion/response

I told her she should make it

I REALLY STRONGLY think about making it in the cellar, i tell her to get her wand....

 

She spawns a room off the side off our roof, like the one in the show, and I am already amazed (If also very positively confused as this went against my planning).

Then i tell her to design it without me and I went for a little walk around the outsides of the house. 

 

Yup... I have a tower-esque room hanging from the side of my roof now. It kinda fits though, atleast I thought so before I entered it.

 

Now entering this room was... very weird and different for me than all the other rooms I've ever made. First off all it took me a really long time to actually see half the things she made there as I am not too used to changes, but also I could just... feel the colors of the room (?). 

Overall it was a very weird but amazing experience.

 

But what is that room now, you might think/ask. Well, imagine its a room which is sorta round but more like a octagon really. (Prepare for bad-english explaination)

 

 

The room has 8 angles, 4 of them (Basicly all the horizontal lines) have 2 Subwoofers attached to them at around 3 meters height (using metric system, because I don't know any other) with most of the floor beeing covered by a giant carpet which double as a soft disco floor.

Next to the wall is a kind of plant growing which is looking like a piano for some reason.

On the opposite to the door is a huge pink fluffy sofa, to settle on for listening pleassure.

To the left from the entrance is a small stage with instruments / a microphone stand which can be used however one wants (we already spawned Hatsune Miku in to perform to a song that came up in my playlist)

On the right from the door however... We don't really know what to put there yet. Right now there is another sofa that could later on act as a control panel.

 

Now onto the amazing features of the room itself, not only its decor.

The entire wall of the room is a visualizer which will also display the color that I think of when I feel the mood of the current song. Which is a weird approach to seeing colors in my head that I couldn't come up with before this.

The disco lighting is mostly taken care off of a random unicorn doll(?) thats attached to the ceiling moving in a circle motion and shining rainbow lights down from it's horn.

Obviously her staff can interact with pretty much everything inside the room, easier and faster than I can infact. (I already asked her to borrow the staff to me for test purposes and it did indeed work better... if a bit more random)

One example of her staff interactions could be that when she fired it at the unicorn on top, the unicorn began to puke rainbows down.  (Which sounds A  LOT more disturbing now, than it felt back then)

 

I literally cried tears of joy when I saw all of this take place before me and it instantly became my favorite room in the house. I will spend a lot of time in there, and you can bet I will.

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To another weird part, the entire time we didn't feel the need to fight, which was a lovely change for once and we just spend 30 minutes experiencing music on a awkwardly deep level.

 

This has been great.

Star is great.

 

-Flopsi99

[Lucilyn]

Star is indeed great!

[Flopsi99]

Lets see this as a small update, like... 1/3 of a Progress Report.

 

I basicly just wanted to put out that I realized that I and Star don't share the same active times.

 

Let's be honest, my sleeping scedule is... messy at best.

 

After work i sleep like 2 hours and then stay up until 2am then sleep until 6/7am depending on what i need to do the next day. 

Unless someone calls me before 7pm and then I dont have the 2 hours and then i go to sleep earlier or not...

It's a mess. 

(And I know it's also counterproductive to anyone wanting to be in mental top-form. Bad for Tulpaforcing and general productivity.)

 

 

However I did reallize that while I am kinda sorta awake/around all the time sometimes, Star usually sleeps from around midnight to whenever I wake up, instead of following my weird sleeping pattern, which lead me to waking her up once or twice before or having to work with a totally powered out / sleepy star while I was awake, or the oposite actually, where I almost fall asleep at a random time during the day and she is her normal hyper self.

-Which is weird, but very interesting none the less.

[Lucilyn]

having a biphasic sleep schedule is fine if that works for you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

consistency is the most important thing because your brain will learn to adapt to that, sleeping in or at random times makes it lazy and less REM-efficient, but sleeping for a little less time 100% consistently is just better for your health overall. And as far as we know biphasic sleep is a fine alternative, it's usually 2-6 so maybe try and go to sleep before 2AM but otherwise not too big a problem. maybe.