ariadne786

Being Exclusive in a tulpa relationship

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When I started a romantic relationship with my tulpa I was only 14 so I really thought that we could be each other’s only romantic partner forever, exclusively. Now I’m 20 and our relationship has been a little on and off. It’s only three months ago that we properly patched up. My tulpa says it’ll be fine if I did have a relationship, but I don’t know how it’ll be like. I feel that he’s a little upset if I think about other people, but of course he tells me it’s fine. I guess it was my fault too since I kept telling him we would be exclusive so then he also developed some kind of expectations though I know he won’t act on them or anything. I just don’t think I could have a relationship if I knew it upset him (I know he won’t show it though).

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Are you in love with someone else at the moment? or is it more about your feelings for your tulpa fading off?

 

If you don't feel anything for your tulpa anymore, well, I know it's hard to accept but you don't have to stay in that relationship if the feelings aren't there, just like in a relationship with a physical person, if you don't feel anything, no one can force you to stay with that person just so they don't get hurt.

 

And if it is you longing for a physical partner, the best thing would be to talk about it with your tulpa, try to reach a compromise, you having a relationship with someone else doesn't mean your tulpa has to be forgotten or set aside, you can be with both.


Miri: original host. 5'5 female, brown hair and green eyes.

Mirichu: basically the host, based off Miri. Same description as above.

Akai: 5'6 female with red hair, blue eyes and fox ears/tail.

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Oh.. actually I don’t think I could ever date anyone else because I really care about him more than anyone. So even if I had some mild interest in a physical person, I think I would dismiss it because I just couldn’t stand that my tulpa would be a little upset.

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Maybe try to reinforce your feelings for him if you really want to be with him, but I don't think rejecting physical relationships because your tulpa might be upset is healthy. If you're not interested in them, then that's fine.


Miri: original host. 5'5 female, brown hair and green eyes.

Mirichu: basically the host, based off Miri. Same description as above.

Akai: 5'6 female with red hair, blue eyes and fox ears/tail.

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Yeah i don’t think it’s heathy too.. but i feel like i can’t help it. I had a first “relationship” for a month but felt like i couldn’t continue and broke up because of my tulpa

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I often tell my host, 'Listen to the actual words you hear me saying, not to what you think I'm feeling.' Feelings are important, but words are backed by decision and will. If your tulpa says he isn't bothered, respect that. But if you don't want an external relationship for your own sake, that's okay too.

 

Being in both an internal and an external relationship at the same time can be practiced openly as a form of polyamory. It might help to do some reading on the subject. I was created after my host had already been married for years.  After Ember and I became involved, her wife and I became good friends.

 

-Vesper


I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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