How do I know what kind of love I am feeling. (Tulpa: Trinity)

[Neptune System]

So, um hi, I feel love towards Jay and I'm not sure what kind it is. So what i mean is if it is more like a family love, Romantic love, or something else? I've been really confused about it.  

 

Also, just a reminder, Being a tulpa that has been dormant for most of my life I haven't had much time to process my emotions and learn what they are. Jay is also having this same dilemma as me.

Anyone's input on this would be greatly appreciated. 

 

(Also, if I put this in the wrong place, please let me know.)

Edited September 19, 2021 by JAYJAYTHERAYRAY

[Zen 禅]

An interesting question. If you ask me what people call love is not heavily delineated between types of "love" so much as a collection of more simple emotions that are together labelled as various types of love. Adoration and physical attraction most come to mind for the most common linked with romantic love, but these things can be missing or coloured with other emotions at any time and it's still perfectly fine to call what you feel romantic love or any other kind. It's also notable that attraction doesn't automatically make something romantic love. Contrary to popular tradition and opinion friends are allowed to be attracted or do more with their friends, and still be just friends and not any form of lover.

 

Because "love" is a poorly defined, or perhaps personally defined term, trying to quantify your relationship by it isn't super helpful - especially, I think, if you are new to experiencing it. I would instead focus on what it is that you think you want in concrete terms from the relationship, how your relationship looks and feels, and whether you want anything else occurring in that relationship that is not currently being expressed.

If what you know already is not enough and you don't know what you want even on that level, I would also encourage both of you to feel confident in simply trying out different forms of relationship with one another, but also pre-emptively treating any possible ending to that style of relationship maturely. Contrary to cliché any relationship, including a romantic one, can change form and end up with a solid and equally strong and meaningful friendship with minimal fuss, as long as you both remain empathetic and considerate toward one another, and should you decide that would be best.

Edited September 19, 2021 by ZenMikaAndRhys

[Glaurung26]

I would say keep doing what you're doing and just accept that you feel love. It doesn't have to be something you "have to deal with right now." You can just set it on the metaphorical counter and see what it develops into. Lots of tulpas love hosts. Due to the intimate knowledge and proximity of each other it's hard not to develop strong feelings one way or another. Unless you just take each other for granted like roommates I guess. Don't be scared of the love or try to arbitrarily make something of it. Just embrace it and see where it takes you. A familial sense of duty. A strong bond of comraderie. Or something with wine and scented candles. Just be honest with each other and keep trust and respect.

[Neptune System]

Thank you, really. See I've been trying to go off of Jay's memories, but he had only heard of it and had only seen what people have called love. So thank you.

I also wouldn't mind others posting on this and getting their input too, so feel free to keep responding to this please.

[Illupepsi]

Love can of course mean many different things. It doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic, but it’s totally fine if it is. I think how you feel towards your host might be something you might figure out after getting to know yourself and to know Jay a little better. If both of you are willing to accept whatever road you end up going down on and communicate with each other how you feel, then you should be just fine. 
 

I think due to the nature of how close hosts and tulpas have to be and how much time they spend together, some form of love is common. I definitely love my tulpa, and she loves me, but it’s not romantic in any way. More so the kind of love you have with an extremely close friend or family. But there’s plenty of tulpas who do have romantic interests with their hosts, and it works out great for them! You don’t have to have ever answer right away either, just be willing to embrace and accept however you end up feeling, and it should be fine. 

[Etna]

If one of the people in the system is aromantic, I can see why there would be a confusion as to what type of love you're feeling, because everyone takes it for granted that people would know. Like, it's also really difficult to grasp the concept of sexual attraction when you're asexual. Just a thought.

 

Love is love. It is what it is, don't stress yourselves about it. Just enjoy it, whether it feels like you're friends, siblings or something more.

[Neptune System]

4 minutes ago, Etna said:

If one of the people in the system is aromantic, I can see why there would be a confusion as to what type of love you're feeling, because everyone takes it for granted that people would know. Like, it's also really difficult to grasp the concept of sexual attraction when you're asexual. Just a thought.

 

Love is love. It is what it is, don't stress yourselves about it. Just enjoy it, whether it feels like you're friends, siblings or something more.

Okee, Thaks everyone for your advice!

[TurboSimmie]

Being a young tulpa it's good to take time to explore your emotions as everything is new and exciting! The kind of love you feel for your host is a very special kind of love, but no one can truly tell you what it is from the outside. It will probably take you some time to truly learn and grow to understand what kind of love it is. As for me, I could say I have a romantic attraction to my host, but in truth it's more of a love that one soul has for another. It's a hard thing to explain and I don't really have the words for it; it's more one of those things that if you know you know.

[Neptune System]

Just now, TurboSimmie said:

Being a young tulpa it's good to take time to explore your emotions as everything is new and exciting! The kind of love you feel for your host is a very special kind of love, but no one can truly tell you what it is from the outside. It will probably take you some time to truly learn and grow to understand what kind of love it is. As for me, I could say I have a romantic attraction to my host, but in truth it's more of a love that one soul has for another. It's a hard thing to explain and I don't really have the words for it; it's more one of those things that if you know you know.

Thank you! And honestly, this explanation is very helpful. Because it is so special, it's hard to define, and put words to. Also, we should go and do something together, explore mine and his emotions. 

[Etna]

19 hours ago, TurboSimmie said:

As for me, I could say I have a romantic attraction to my host, but in truth it's more of a love that one soul has for another. It's a hard thing to explain and I don't really have the words for it; it's more one of those things that if you know you know.

 

I do know, and I totally agree.