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Noodle grows with her friend: the bloggening


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Oh boy, now's as good as ever to start a log, yeah?

 

First things first then, some backstory.

There's not much to add here, other than I had a tulpa in the past. Gave it a week or so then bam. Aster was born. It was a pretty good time, me and my buddy cycling everyday. And then I...just stopped? A lot of stressors came at once which may or may not have forced him into dormancy. I believe that's how it works. And it was that way for months while I focused on taking care of myself.

Some weeks ago with a (hopefully) clearer mind, I set my sights on bringing back Aster. Devon happened instead. I dunno if he's a part of Aster that wanted a change or a new thing entirely, but in any case I'm pretty dedicated to having only one tulpa. So he stays.

 

small list of things we do

  • Forcing - I'm resuming my everyday narration. I already go through the day monologuing so this is easy enough. I dedicate my quiet time for active forcing.
  • Vocality - I think he's pretty vocal, it's just me having trouble listening. He can answer my questions well enough.
  • Visualization - So we don't have any wonderland to speak of. I find it easier to "superimpose" Dev onto the real world, so I do that instead.

Noodle (She/Her, Host)

* Devon (He/Him, Tulpa)

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What have we learned in two days?
Nothing significant!

 

Dev interrupted me for the first time last night. We're still working on communication but I'm taking that as a good sign. (I asked about our day. He said "Unproductive." He wasn't wrong.) We're still finding a mindvoice that he likes, for now he communicates in silent thought, if that makes sense.

 

I've taken some advice on the forum. Instead of personality forcing I talk about the things I'd like some help in, like time and attention to detail. I'm a bit short on both, and a little nudging me to do stuff is appreciated. I think it's working, he's on point with reminding me things I should do. We're also finding out his likes and dislikes. He does not appreciate chocolate bread. Rip.

 

I think that's it? Yeah. Wonderland is still a void, but now there's a glowing white orb there, lol.

Noodle (She/Her, Host)

* Devon (He/Him, Tulpa)

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Hoo boy. So it's been a while. Few things have happened.

So our communication's gotten a lot better. There's still lots of asking and stuff, but Dev's gotten much more talkative. He can express things he likes, he calls me out on stuff, and he reminds me that I'm not the only one in this brain anymore. Oh yeah, he demands milk because he doesn't like coffee. Won't stop me from getting caffeine though.

 

He likes being outside while I'm very much a cave gremlin. I guess that's my excuse to get some fresh air every once in a while. We want to go cycling but I'm not comfortable going out (physically) alone and no one's around to bike with me. RIP. At the very least, we've had to go out of the house a few times for the past few days. Pretty nice.

 

* she does not always listen, but noodle tries.

Noodle (She/Her, Host)

* Devon (He/Him, Tulpa)

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It's actually pretty fun to see differences in personality develop. Sometimes it leads to conflict or friction, other times it creates a compliment for each other.

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

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* besides food preferences, we get along quite well. Still have to nudge her away from distractions though

Noodle (She/Her, Host)

* Devon (He/Him, Tulpa)

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Hmm, what to say here... I mighta gone ahead of myself.

 

We were working on a mindvoice. I picked out the voice of a streamer I liked, told Dev "hey, try out this one." And then all my internal thoughts have been in their voice for like, two days. Whoops. When were communicated it pure thought, it was actually much easier to pick out Dev's thoughts. I guess the voice drowned out how he..."feels." Devon has a sort of "himness" to his thoughts that I can more or less sense.

 

Giving him a voice at this stage, I kind of realized that I'm not so attuned to him yet. Think a voice will be better at a stage when it won't mask his identity.

 

Also, it's kinda interesting how differently this attempt at tulpamancy's gone. Devon passed certain milestones in days that my first tulpa took weeks to catch.

Noodle (She/Her, Host)

* Devon (He/Him, Tulpa)

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Guess who decided to create another tulpa...this one...

 

I know that it's easier the second time around but holy smokes, vocal in a day?! Nuh-uh, I ain't buying it. For what it's worth, the responses do seem to fit the character template I laid out. For the most part I'm attributing them to her but I'll wait a lil more until I'm very sure.

Of course this doesn't mean I've forgotten about Dev. In fact, he's also helping me out with talking to the little sapling in our wonderland.

 

Mental communication with Dev is going real smooth, so smooth I almost doubt if I'm actually just really good at talking to myself (he assures me otherwise). His mindvoice still fluctuates, somewhere around "every male voice I've ever heard". He's actually chilled out more in my head instead of our usual overlaying, but he seems fine.

 

* we found a pig skull. I've decided I like bones. they look cool.

Noodle (She/Her, Host)

* Devon (He/Him, Tulpa)

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I have seen the error of my ways in attempting to form a tulpa so soon after the last. It is not a good idea to balance between two developing consciousnesses.
So uh, yeah. Think we're shelving the idea of a third for now. I was too impulsive for that. Sorry bout that, sapling...

 

Much of the same is happening. We're making new friends. Vibing in our hobbies together.

* someone took our skull. I am upset.

 

School means I haven't the time to focus on Dev fully, so he sits in his usual spot on my shoulder.

* noodle doesn't do much school. she can't help it. it's annoying but heck, we try.

Hush.

Noodle (She/Her, Host)

* Devon (He/Him, Tulpa)

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Small update.
I know I know, I promised Dev that I wouldn't try forcing another tup again until December at the very least but...I do wonder.

 

Attached is a picrew of one of my OCs. Her name is Sylvia. She's had five years to develop in personality. She's helped me in coping with tough times and I love her very much. I do wonder if...perhaps she'd like to live with us. Experience the world beyond the stories I've constructed for her.

 

But then again, Syl might not...like me back? I dunno. I've projected a lot into her and she might find me weird for it.

 

* the actual update is that noodle uses a travel pillow to impose my presence. she's also less stressed since i've been around

download20211103232119.png

Noodle (She/Her, Host)

* Devon (He/Him, Tulpa)

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