How does one not forget to talk to their tulpa

[2BeeorNot]

On 10/16/2021 at 7:20 PM, TurboSimmie said:

Back in the early days when I wasn't fully vocal yet Phil would take a green marker and make a dot on his finger. Green is my symbolic color, so whenever he saw the green dot he would be reminded to think of me. I recommend something like that! Also, does Trinity have a favorite color? We've found symbolic colors are very helpful!

 

35 minutes ago, Etna said:

Having some kind of thing you carry with you as a constant reminder is a good idea. It could be something as simple as the green dot Simmie mentioned. Could be a pendant on a necklace, a ring, a bracelet (which could just be a piece of string). I have an amethyst bracelet that's pretty weighty so it's hard to ignore.

This really works for me. I made a "bracelet" from a scrap of silver glitter fabric. It looks like the same material as the dress Lucy wears the most and it is a constant reminder of her.

[ruleofthumb]

Stone: I have had problems with this. For a long time, even when I'd active force frequently, I would never passive force (i.e. just remember my headmates during my day to day routine). I also went through a bout of barely talking to my headmates at all from about January to summer this year. This week, for the first time ever (I've been been doing this about a year), my headmate Betty will actually react to things that happen in my life, suddenly, without me having to remind myself to remember her.

 

Here's what I've been doing to passive force more and to keep Betty in my thoughts:

 

1) I've been active forcing more. In the beginning, I would active force over an hour a day, but I fell out of that habit quickly. Now, I am forcing over an hour a day again.

 

2) I've been breaking up my forcing into smaller chunks. In the beginning, I remember having an hour and a half session with Betty. Now, I have smaller sessions focused on specific things.

 

20 minutes Wonderland. 20 minutes conversation. 5 minutes visual imposition practice. 5 minutes auditory imposition practice. 5 minutes tactile imposition practice. 20 minutes possession. Betty uses Discord for an indeterminate amount of time. Betty plays a game or does whatever else she wants for an indeterminate amount of time. Betty uses social media for an indeterminate amount of time. Etc.

 

Sometimes we do this all consecutively, but sometimes we spread it out throughout the day. I think spreading it out keeps her in mind thoughts longer.

 

3) I've been rewarding myself for catching myself passive forcing. I started using Habitica this summer and it has been great. I have a habit set to "trivial" difficulty called "Catch Yourself Passive Forcing". You can reward yourself however you want, but this works for me.

 

Here's how I got out of my rough patch where I barely talked to my headmates at all:

 

At the end of December, our system celebrated Christmas and it was a huge thing. Betty and Cloud had this emotional, beautiful experience that is difficult to detail, but we all look back on it fondly. However, the day after that, I thought, "We're too tired from that. We'll regroup later." Soon after that I fell into a depression, so I we never finished our Christmas plans, and I would forget about my headmates for weeks before saying a quick hello to them and forgetting about them again. In April I got a new headmate and our system began speaking more frequently after that, but it was not until late summer this year that we began talking every day (albeit, not that much). Starting fall, we started talking even more, and I'd check with them multiple times a day. Starting this month, I've been interacting with them hours a day again.

 

1) I began by setting daily reminders. Do whatever you think will work best for you. For example, for school, I've put reminders for homework I needed to do inside video games so I'd actually see them. When I started talking to my headmates daily again, I had a reminded bot on Discord set up, because I used Discord frequently. Now, I used Habitica every day, so I use that. I recommend Habitica specifically but I also recommend tailoring your reminders to you. If you ignore your phone's alarm, get more creative.

 

2) Start small and don't let perfection be the enemy of good. While I force hours a day now, I started off small. For a long time, it was a quick "good morning, good day, good night". That way, you'll be more likely to follow through.

 

3) IF YOU'RE READING THIS, SET A REMINDER RIGHT NOW!